Break-Up Text Goes Viral. And I Just Don’t Get Why.

www.theycallmejane.wordpress.com

Newsflash!

A break-up text goes viral!

So, naturally, I clicked on it. I love the internet, if nothing to be entertained.

I read viral text and I was amused, as I thought I would be, but I was also curious as to why in the world such a sensible, reasonable text went viral.

You see, I’ve succumbed to the digital age. I no longer think that a text break-up is so unusual or wrong. Especially for a 7-week relationship. So, no. When I read the text, I wasn’t surprised. I was even a little disappointed. It wasn’t so entertaining that it should have gone viral.

What surprised me the most, however, was the response of others.

Item #1 – “You refuse to update your relationship status on Facebook” 

Jane = After 7 weeks of hot and heavy you-know-what, I’d expect that two people would be considered “an item” worthy of a status change. If you’re still “looking for men” after 7-weeks with the same guy? Well, than maybe you’re just not that into him.

Others = Apparently, keeping your relationship status private is a common thing. Lots of nosy moms and sisters out there, I guess.

Item #2 – “You won’t include me in things like the wedding this weekend. I should have been the one to escort you.”

Jane = Again, after 7-weeks of courtship, this is not an unreasonable assumption.

Others = Disagreed. With me. 7 weeks is too soon for a wedding date. (Oops.)

Item #3 – “You are rude to my cat and that makes me uncomfortable.”

Jane = I’m more of a dog person, but if you were rude to my dog? I’d say that’s definitely an indication of your true character.

Others = Found this item especially amusing. The ex-girlfriend’s response? She’s apparently allergic to cats. And he didn’t know this after 7-weeks? C’mon.

Item #4 – “You do not share your time equally and by now your boyfriend should be taking priority.” 

Jane = I’m going to assume that by “equally” you mean between boyfriend and other friends. And if my assumption is correct, than you go, boy!

Others = See him as needy.

Item #5 – “Your swearing if very unladylike.”

Jane = Calling her out on her potty mouth? A man with standards. I like it.

Others = Added their own expletives to the comments.

And finally….

Item #6 – “You won’t disclose how many sexual partners you have had which makes me think it is upwards of 3 and anything more than that is unacceptable.”

Jane = Again, a man with standards. Which, as long as he holds himself to the same, is quite admirable.

Others = Feel this is narrow-minded. And it might be. But he is choosing a life partner and if this is important to him (which I’m teaching my children that sexual relationships are precious and special and should only be shared with a life-long partner) than good for him. It’s his prerogative.

In response to the break-up text that the now-ex-girlfriend allowed to go viral because she shared it with a friend she says,“He was 30, had a job, a car and a house. Certainly not what I normally manage to attract, so I thought I was onto something…”

Yep. I’d say you were onto something. Someone with a moral compass. Self-worth. Self-respect.

And the fact that he is “certainly not what (you) normally manage to attract” tells me you could take a lesson from this guy.

Clearly.

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Filed under Because It Amuses

In An Effort To Squeeze As Much As I Can Out Of My Son’s Childhood

My 11-year-old son has been a little extra cuddly lately. My son who isn’t typically cuddly.

With my daughter, I know what this means. It means that something is going on in her life that she isn’t particularly proud of or she’s experiencing some bullying or peer pressure to try things she shouldn’t.

So, I ask all the right questions.

“How are things in school? Made any new friends? How is David doing? Troy? What’s the weirdest thing that happened this week? What made you laugh out loud today? Did you help anyone today?”

I sit. Waiting. Hoping all of his troubles pour out.

Nothin’.

I push as far as I think I can push without him figuring out what I’m doing.

“Mom? Can I go play xbox?”

And off he goes.

This goes on for about a week. I’m stymied. And then, in the middle of snack yesterday, he says, “Mom? Do you think I’m too old to Trick-Or Treat?”

www.theycallmejane.wordpress.com

I want to scream “NO!” and cuddle him in my arms and tell him to treasure every single moment that is still his childhood. But I can’t. He’s a middle-schooler now. He’s my tough guy who has been too cool for my hugs and snuggles for awhile now.

But it all makes sense now. His 10-year-old brother is fired up about his zombie costume. He’s been talking about it for weeks. While my other son watches from the side lines.

“I’ll just be a bank robber. It’ll be easy. I’ll wear all black. A ski mask and paint a dollar sign on a pillow case,” he says non-nonchalantly.

“Do eighth graders trick or treat?” he muses.

He started middle school this year. He’s moved from being on top to the bottom of the school food chain. He’s intimidated by everything all over again. What to wear. What to eat for lunch. What to share with your mom.

And whether to hold onto  one of the last pieces of childhood.

When I was a freshman in high school my friends and I had a sleep over on Halloween. The plan was to watch scary movies, stuff our faces with pizza and giggle into the wee hours.

“We should go trick or treating!” someone said. I looked around nervously. I was among the youngest of our group, We were all on the swim team together and there were sophomores present. What would they think?

“That’s a great idea!” A sophomore shouted. “We can all go as swimmers!”

Not a hugely original idea, but everyone loved it and we raced around, grabbing what we could from my house and then going to other girls’ houses to scrounge up more swim suits, caps, googles and warm ups.

Despite our fun-loving attitude and our polite thank yous, about 1/2 the time we were not well received.

“Aren’t you a little too old for this?” A little old lady (she was probably 45) asked.  One man actually refused to give us candy.

About 1/4 of the time, nothing was said but with the reluctant handout, the sentiment was understood.

And the rest of the time, we had warm welcomes, light-hearted comments about our “costumes,” well wishes for our upcoming League Championship and lots of candy.

We had fun, despite the nay-sayers. We laughed. We let loose. We stuffed our faces. We treasured and embraced the last days of what was still our childhood.

“No, sweetie,” I said to my cautious-confused son. “You are NOT too old to trick or treat.”

“But how will I know when I am too old?” he asks. I can see the wheels spinning, wondering if that day is just around the corner, coming much sooner than he is ready.

“You are too old when you can afford to buy a whole pillowcase full of candy for yourself,” I tell him.

He jumps off the stool with a big, goofy grin on his face, happy with my answer that seems oh-so-far-away.

And we just squeezed one more Halloween out of his childhood.

 

 

 

 

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Filed under children, Growing Up, Motherhood

Negotiating iThis, xThat and Every Screen In Between

A Facebook friend alerted me to an article on the Washington Post that has resonated with me in every fiber of my being. “Parenting as a Gen Xer: We’re the first generation of parents in the age of iEverything.”

I was born on the cusp of Baby Boomers and Gen-Xers. I remember the days in college of wrapping rubber bands around the punch cards you inserted into the computer. Then, just a few years later, I  purchased  my first “home” computer shortly after graduation.

I have three children. A 21 year old daughter and 10 and 11 year old sons. And that 10 year difference might as well be 3 generations of technology users. When we finally let our daughter have a cell phone, that’s all it was. A cellphone. You called people with it.

Now? It’s a phone, a mailbox, an urban dictionary, an internet surfer, a radio, a photo album, a camera, a video recorder. It connects you to your parents, your siblings, your family, your friends, your friend’s friends, and every other sick-o stranger on the planet.

How do you teach “Stranger Danger” and stay current with all the tricks that twist and turn by the minute?

screen time

One answer: You can’t.

My sons, especially Mr. 11-year-old, have been begging for a phone. As far as I’m concerned, it’s not necessary. I drive them everywhere they need to be. We still have an old-fashioned land line phone at home.

But if I’m being perfectly honest, I’m scared to death to break down and let them have a phone. It’s one less screen in front of their faces. It’s one less screen I have to worry about breaking. And it’s one less screen that’s going to take their precious innocence.

We have limited screen time. Weekends = 3 hours each day. Weekdays = unlimited. Well, that’s what we tell them – so they think they’re getting away with something. But between school, swim practice, baseball, Kung-Fu and Boy Scouts it works out to about 1.5 hours a day.

We have “Unplugged” days when no screens of any kind are allowed. We recently took an unplugged 4 day vacation to the mountains. Just fishing and hiking and board games and card games . Campfires and mosquitoes and skipping rocks. Books with real pages and that intoxicating “new book” smell.

It was heaven.

Like the author of the Washington Post article, I just can’t outright ban the screen time. It’s oh-so-necessary in this day and age. They need to be connected and savvy. On the other hand, I worry about what it is doing to their social skills. Will they develop a Dowager’s hump, hovering over their Kindles and iPads? And who ARE they talking to on xbox-Live?

This is truly a rickety-tricky age in which to live. Oh, sure. I know that every generation has its struggles. But this is one arena where we don’t have a role model to guide us. It’s trial and error. And with cyber-bullying and sexual predators, it’s an error that can be devastating.

So.

I struggle.

And you struggle.

And our kids hate us for keeping them from their precious screens.

But that’s just how it’s going to have to be.

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Filed under children, parenting, In the News

I Have A Love/Hate Relationship With Facebook

I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook.

And for as much as I “love” Facebook, I think I hate it more. But I can’t stay away. It’s like a train wreck. I just have to look.

How bad is my affliction? Disgusted with more bragging and bad news, I signed off and raced over here to write a post about it. But I mistakenly (or was it?) clicked on Facebook again. Realizing my mistake immediately and disgusted with myself for succumbing to my bad habit so mindlessly, I move the mouse to leave again. What do I do instead? Read another sensationalized post.

I’m pathetic.

……….

I love…

…catching up with old friends. Friends I’ve lost touch with. Friends who live far away.

….how easy it is to stay in touch with people. A quick photo of my kid coming home from his first day of school. A shared recipe from a friend. Engagement news. That your son is on swim team, too. It doesn’t have to be a monumental event. I love hearing about the day-to-day. In moderation, of course.

I hate…

….sensationalized journalism. It makes my heart jump and my stomach do flip flops. As we enter the flu-season (and you all know how I wrestle with the flu vaccine. Every. Single. Year.) I’m now flooded with U.S. maps of where EV-D68 has hit (here in Georgia) and I get to worry about that, too.

…the  inflammatory posts of a political nature.

…the mundane, yet constant and excessive, “Having a drink at Applebee’s,” “Sure is sunny today,” and “Watching paint dry. Again,” kind of posts.

…the public service messages of a freakish nature. Some man, a known sleepwalker, camped near a cliff and fell off. My 11 year old is a sleepwalker. He’s a Boy Scout. They camp at least once a month. Near open bodies of water. Yeah. I don’t get much sleep those weekends. And I so didn’t need to see that post today. Or any day.

…the thinly veiled braggy posts or pictures of the latest party you attended (Yay! You have friends.) or your newest handbag purchase. Yes, I’ve heard of Michael Kors.

…the not-so-thinly-veiled braggy posts. The in-your-face barrage of photos or status updates extoling your oh-so-perfect life. Just once I’d like to see a picture of what you look like first thing in the morning. Or a panoramic view of your kids bedroom – today. Right now. Not after careful planning, a Pottery Barn decorating session and threats and screams to keep it clean 5 minutes for the picture.

…the phony “news” stories. Check with Snopes.com before you post something that sounds too good/too weird/too horrible to be true.

…the misquoted celebrity posts. John Lennon’s teacher/grow up to be happy quote – not true. And the “well-behaved woman” quote wasn’t said by Marilyn Monroe. Again. Check with Snopes before you re-post.

…the cryptic friend. “Worst. Day. Ever.” or “I hope it’s not ebola.” Really? If you’re not going to explain, I’m moving on. Attention seekers rarely get my attention. They get blocked.

Which reminds me of something else I love about Facebook that I forgot to mention.

 

I love…

…the ability to block certain people from your news feed without them knowing.

But that leads me to this confession.

I have so many people blocked on my news feed. People that violate my self-imposed Facebook Rules of Decorum. I’m beginning to wonder why I’m friends with them in the first place.

So, I’m going to have to end this post so I can go back to Facebook and do the proper research. I’ll get back to you with an answer in a few days.

See?

I’m hopeless.

 

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Filed under Confessions, Deep Thoughts

Minimalist Word Wednesday: I Know Many Of You Can Relate

cookieblog

5 Comments

June 4, 2014 · 1:01 pm

Releasing Cheaters Into The Wild. Now, THAT’S Tough Love.

The facts: I am a rule follower. My mother wears hearing aids. I like to listen to the BBC a few mornings a week to hear world news and opinion. Now, on with my story…

The other morning I was listening to the BBC when I heard the newscaster say, “Blah, blah, blah (some organization, from India maybe?) is planning on releasing cheaters into the wild.”

Cheaters?

Isn’t that a little harsh?

What will it be like…maybe a remote area, similar to a leper colony? Or will it be like that reality show “Survivor” and there will be cameras, a neutral host and episodes on trust and how to cheat a cheater?

Didn’t she say India? I never realized their justice system was so harsh. Is a cheater someone who cheats on a spelling test or on their taxes? Or is this for cheating spouses? They’ll banish them from society and make them live with their fellow cheaters. See how they like cheating then! Yep. That’ll teach ‘em.

And then the newscaster spoke of “Chiner.”

Chiner? I’ve never heard of that country….

Oh, wait. China. And cheetahs. Releasing cheetahs into the wild.

Oops.

Nevermind.

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Filed under Because It Amuses

Maddie Ziegler and Sia Chandelier Performance On Ellen: What Am I Missing Here?

I’m an unabashed fan of Ellen DeGeneres. She’s funny. She’s kind. She’s giving. I watch her show often (while folding laundry, of course. I’m nothing if not a great multi-tasker.)

But the other day, she had the artist Sia on her show to re-create her video for her hit song, Chandelier. And I was a bit…….stunned. First, let me say, I enjoy Sia’s music. Have a few of her songs on my iPod, as a matter of fact. I was looking forward to her performance.

Instead of being wowed (in a good way), I sat there, slack-jawed. I was uncomfortable. When they didn’t show any audience reaction, I figured the rest of the audience felt the same way.

Nope. As soon as the performance ended,  the audience erupted and the camera revealed a standing ovation.

Huh?

If you’re not familiar……

(1) Here are a few snippets of the lyrics to Chandelier: “I’m the one “for a good time call” ,” “1-2-3 drink, 1-2-3 drink, throw ‘em back ’til I lose count,” and “Sun is up, I’m a mess, Gotta get out now, gotta run from this. Here comes the shame, here comes the shame.”

(2) Maddie Ziegler (from Dance Moms) is an 11-year old dancer.

(3) And her costume for the performance, a flesh toned bodysuit, looked like this:

sia-chandelier-article

I was troubled. I wrongly assumed others would be, too. And when I Googled “Maddie’s performance Sia Chandelier on Ellen” the adjectives in the articles that popped up were “amazing,” “haunting,” “emotional,” and “incredible.”

Call me a prude. Call me self-righteous. Call me old-fashioned.

I don’t care.

I have an issue with prepubescent girls dancing on television in skin-tight, flesh colored leotards, creating the illusion of nudity to songs that describe adult alcoholic beverage (over) drinking behavior.

So sue me.

 

 

 

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Filed under Soapbox