10 Ways To Avoid Writing A Blog Post

10. Do laundry. Lots of laundry. And when you’re done with the laundry, launder things that have never been laundered before. (Yes, I actually did this today. Shoot me now.)

9. Google things. For an hour. When nothing inspires you, Google some more. You just might learn something.

8. Stalk old flames on Facebook. (Embarrassing, but true.)

7. Use Google Earth to check out the neighborhood where you grew up. Count how many blocks you walked to school and notice all the empty lots and boarded up houses. Be glad you still don’t live there.

6. Get rubbing alcohol and some Q-tips. Clean all the gunk between the keyboard keys.

5. Visit all the blogs in your “Needs Further Research” folder looking for inspiration. Realize why they needed further research in the first place.

4. Visit your favorite blogs for inspiration. Realize you will never match their brilliance, hence the reason they are your favorites.

3. Visit the bloggers who comment on other blogs. Realize for as many really great blogs there are, there are twice as many boring ones. (Sorry. Just being honest.)

2. Visit every single person who has ever commented on your blog. Be inspired by their posts. Begin to write your own and realize you are creeping dangerously close to every form of plagiarism out there. Quit while you’re ahead.

And the #1 one way to avoid writing a blog post?

1. Create a list. Any kind of list. And see if anyone notices that it actually turned into a blog post.

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30 Comments

Filed under Blogging, Completely Random

30 responses to “10 Ways To Avoid Writing A Blog Post

  1. Very cute, Jane! Wow, you really spent a lot of time NOT writing a blog post! And you just gave me a few good suggestions of things to do when I get bored! :-)

  2. I love this! It is very nice to know I am not the only person who does everything to distract myself from actually starting a post. LOL. But m’lady, do you really use Qtips? You need a can of compressed air cleaner! When I feel the anxiety of wanting to write a blog post yet fearing the post might turn out to be a flop, I spend way too much time on Twitter.

  3. Hey, can you hurry on over here with the Q-tips and alcohol and clean my keyboard? It’s got so much sludge in there, it’s like a biohazard.

    For the record, I think you are cute and witty!

  4. Thanks, Jane! I thought I had all the methods of avoidance in existence…I still have to try #7 and #8!

    Totally agree on #3! Another blogging friend and I were discussing that one time…if anything, it makes us feel good about our own blogs!

    Note to Lin: compressed air wastes too little time…if you use Q-tips, it takes a lot longer, giving the illusion that you’re actually accomplishing something while you’re reeling with the fumes of the rubbing alcohol…

    Wendy

  5. You are such a clever gal!

    You know, about the Q-tips and rubbing alcohol thing. :-)

  6. Plagiarism is fine. My favourite Phillip Pullman quote about his own writing is “Read like a butterfly, write like a bee.”
    Number 11 for me by the way is Go to Post Office to mail something that has suddenly become urgent.

  7. Come on over. You’re always welcome. No need to get out of your pj’s.

    I’ve wondered… when you DO look for those old boyfriends on Facebook, is your picture going to show up on his Facebook page as someone he might want to friend?

  8. You all of a sudden seem so very human and real. ;)
    Glad to know I’m not the only queen of time wasting.

    Love and hugs from one of the boring blogs.

  9. You forgot the most important one: Go down to the kitchen and open the fridge, then the cabinets, then the fridge again until you realize you have no snack-worthy food in the house. Then stick a marshmallow on a fork and roast it over the gas burner. Done!

    • I wasn’t about to admit my chocolate search (that turned up nothing – but Halloween is just around the corner!) but you just gave me another tasty procrastination task!

  10. Ancilla Irwan

    good points to learn, to make my blog aint as boring as now :)

  11. Five through two, hilarious – I am so very bad at visiting new blogs any more but yes, if I ever do well I rarely find myself following a new one.

    Maybe a post where you ask everyone to name their favorite non-celebrity blogs (the ones who will never come and say hello to us lowly beings) is in order, I would love to find some new great reads without the hard work :-)

  12. Well, you got a great blog out of procrastination! Isn’t blogging fun? :-)
    Sunshine xx

  13. Watch this blog post is going to end up as being one of your most “commented on posts?”
    I would add to the list look for new plug-ins, that will surely cause you problems which will give you an excellent excuse for not writing a blog post.
    Maybe we can all meet at “merrilymarylee” and throw acorns at squirrels…just a thought….

  14. I heart this post! Love #2 and #1, so true! When I can’t find inspiration, I often spend countless hours watching Lifetime or baking cookies, or both… at the same time.

  15. You nailed me. I’m the queen list maker!! Sad thing is…I never realized I did it in order to avoid writing a post :(

  16. I have totally done laundry to kill time/procrastinate. At least we have something to show for it at the end, right?

    Another way to avoid writing a blog post is to have unbloggable stuff happen. I think that’s my latest excuse.

  17. This is a clever post. I smiled because I either agreed and was nodding my head up and down, or I was thinking that a toothpick to clean out the crevices on my stove seemed like a good idea too.

  18. Great list. I load up on snacks while trying to write, finishing the array of goodies, but not a word on the screen.

    Loved this!

  19. Yeah , there are some damn boring blogs out there!

    Now I know why I got a visit!! :D

    Like the top ten, I’m going to add some of them to my “things to do when I’m bored” list.

  20. ck

    laundry is my favorite way to procrastinate because frankly it’s the only way I’ll get it done.

  21. unabridgedgirl

    Hahaha. Isn’t that the truth? Love this list. But I’ve never cleaned my keyboard as you’ve described.

  22. Pingback: Calling All Bloggers! Who Is Your Favorite Read? « Theycallmejane's Blog

  23. HA! I like your candor with #3

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