10 Things I’ve Said To My Children That Other Moms Might Not Say. (Thank Goodness.)

I’m a little late to the party but a few of my blogging friends participate in Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop and I always have the good intention of trying it out. Here’s my attempt this week. Enjoy!

10 Things I’ve Said To My Child That Other Moms Might Not Say

  1. “How can you have any dessert if you don’t eat your meat?!?” (Cue Pink Floyd music in background.)
  2. “If you wear that out of the house I swear I’ll take a picture and use it for your wedding invitation!”
  3. “No, Sweetie. I’m pretty sure they haven’t made a Lifetime movie about you. Yet.”
  4. “Nanny, nanny boo-boo. I told ya’ so!”
  5. “Oh. It was just beer? Well, at least you’re not trying Meth.”
  6. “I don’t care if you can toot on purpose. Stop doing it. You’re going to hurt your anus.”
  7. “Just be the best teacher or lawyer or ditch digger you can be. But don’t be a pimp. ‘Cause they’re not nice.”
  8. “Yes. Shut-up IS the s-word and I don’t ever want to hear you say it again!”
  9. “I’m pretty sure that the states are androgynous. There is no Mistersippi that I know of.”
  10. “Seriously? Stop that crying right now. There is NO crying in housework!!!” (Just call me a pop culture junkie.)

Feel free to share your doozy below.

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8 Comments

Filed under funny, parenting

8 responses to “10 Things I’ve Said To My Children That Other Moms Might Not Say. (Thank Goodness.)

  1. I’ve certainly told my kids that I’m best friends with the Basement Monster & he’ll always come help me out if they aren’t being nice.

  2. Love it! We have the same S word here in our house, too :)

  3. I’ve said some of those things and I don’t even HAVE kids!

  4. Whatever doozies there were (and I know there were some), the teenage years killed off too many brain cells to recall the specifics…
    :)

    Mistersippi. (Didn’t he make cups? No. Not the athletic kind…)

  5. These are great!!! I have quite a few too…and many of them from movies!!! :)

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