10 Things I Never Dreamed In A Million Years I’d Say. (Okay. Maybe In A Million. But Certainly Not In 100 Years.)

About a year ago, I was bemoaning the fact that it’s 2012 and we still don’t have flying jet packs.

And then, yesterday, as my children were calling for me a flight of stairs away (Do your children scream downstairs for you, too? One of my big pet peeves. Yet, I always respond. What is wrong with me?) words left my lips that sounded so foreign, so odd, but made perfect sense to my tech-savvy self. (Okay. I’m not very tech savvy. At all. But when I said #3, I felt like the perfect techno-geek.)

It got me thinking. When I was sitting in Algebra class, oh-so-many-years-ago, and we were sitting around figuring out how old we’d be in the year (gasp!) 2000 and wailing “We’re going to be sooooo oooollllddddd!” (36 years) besides the ancient age of 36, there were many other things we never could have imagined. So many other things we never could have predicted would come from our fossilized and parentified lips.

1. How can you have any dessert when you haven’t eaten your meat?

2. Boy, that Zumba class really kicked my butt this morning.

3. Hold on. I need to turn off my book.

4. I just hit 190 followers on my blog!

5. Because I said so.  (Or some similar version.)  (Okay. Not very original. But when we heard that as kids we all vowed we’d never say it. Am I right?)

6. Honey, don’t forget to charge the car.

7. Wait a sec, I’ll just Google it.

8. Oooo. I love that song. What’s the name of it again? Here. I’ll Shazam it and then download it when I get home! Hey! I don’t have to wait. I can download it now!

9. I just Viggled the Today show. It’s on for four hours! That’s 240 points!

10. Upon leaving the house and forgetting, yet something else – I’ll be right back. I forgot my phone.

So, what did you dream you’d never say?

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11 Comments

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11 responses to “10 Things I Never Dreamed In A Million Years I’d Say. (Okay. Maybe In A Million. But Certainly Not In 100 Years.)

  1. “You’re not hungry, you’re just bored.”

  2. Well, I don’t have kids and never really thought I would….so I never dreamed I’d ever every say “Because I said so.” BUT yesterday at work I told one of my staff that. Could not believe it came out of my mouth. Still am surprised it did.

  3. Oh my gosh my son yells down the stairs for me every. single. day. And I reply in a normal voice, so of course he says “What?!!!!” And then I say “What?!!!” and he says “What?!” and it goes on like that until he comes down and says, “I was calling for you mommy.” My husband says we’re both crazy and drive each other crazy and drive him crazy. It’s a thing. ;)

  4. I love your list!

    I was hoping we might be saying “beam me up, Scotty” (or name of your choice). Little would I know there would be years of kissing boys goodbye at airports and saying “text me when you get there.”

    Then again, like you, calculating the age I would be in the year 2000, I couldn’t possibly conceive of it. And here it is 13 years later. Oddly, I feel younger (in many ways) than in… um… 1999!

  5. My Favorite: Never lick the honey off the table (KFC when Cole was about 5)

  6. “I will text you”
    “Your mother took my class, too”
    and all the medical, physical ailment discussions with friends …

  7. “On the way to work I nearly hit a goat”. True story! ;)

  8. Rob

    Shazam and Viggle? Okay, I am lost….Great post!

    You’re only in the 3rd grade, and you want to shave your legs?
    What do mean your friend’s parent just dropped you off and left you at the carnival? You’re only in the 4th grade! You should have called me right away.
    You want to home school?
    You want your own apartment; but you’re only 12!
    Why is sweater on inside out?
    Next time, you’ll know better than to leave the boardwalk with two cute boys you just met! Thank God, you didn’t get arrested with them!
    You’ve only had your driver’s license a year and this is your 4th accident – even if 3 of them weren’t your fault. (to daughter)
    Okay, it’s time you get your driver’s license – I can’t drive you around forever. (to son)

  9. I love this list. I often have to say, “Give me back my Iphone.” My little girl loves playing games on it. I wonder what the next few decades have in store for us.

  10. Love your list, even though I’m still scratching my head over parts of it. The thing I never thought to say was years ago when I was potty training our son who, I swear, was so fascinated that he could aim and fire that he learned in no time. What I didn’t say–and should have–was “Don’t pee in your sister’s shoes.”

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