Seven Questions I’d Like To Ask My Dog

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1. The cat threw it up. And you still ate it. Now, stop and think a minute. Don’t you think there may have been a reason why she threw it up?

2. Yes, we typically feed you after you’ve been outside. And yes, your food bowl is empty. You eat twice a day, approximately every 12 hours. But by asking to go outside, again, just after you’ve eaten, and then running to your bowl to see if maybe we’ve put more food in it – do you really think we’ve forgotten that we’ve just fed you and you need to be fed again? Really?

3. You’re fixed. That special part of your anatomy is not even there anymore. Why, oh why, ┬ádo you still want to hump the leg of my daughter’s friend?

4. Along those same lines….. I know it is natural for you. But it is not natural for humans. So, could you please stop sniffing every visitor to our home in the crotch area? Pretty please?

5. You bark at the mailman but not the UPS man. Is there something you know that we don’t? Should we be concerned?

6. We just took you for a long walk. #2son played with you in the back yard for an hour. You follow me into every room of the house and I always stop and pet you and talk to you. You curl at my feet while I’m writing blog posts and I never fail to give you a little love. Yet you still act as if we never pay attention to you. Will it ever be enough? Ever?

7. It’s your crate. Your little sanctuary. We leave the gate open because we know you love to sleep in there, even though you don’t really need to be crated anymore. So, let me reiterate, it’s your space. Why do you let her push you around?

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4 Comments

Filed under Because I'm Curious

4 responses to “Seven Questions I’d Like To Ask My Dog

  1. Pups are always the optimistic. Always.

  2. That picture is hilarious!

  3. I love this! I have many of the same questions for my dog, plus the additional, “How foolish do you think we are???”

  4. Katie has learned to play one of us against the other. And she often wins. For example last week she got fed three times, because he asked me and I figured he had forgotten..so fed her. Approximately 15 min after he fed her. And she ate it all. Little scammer.

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