“Hello. This is Nurse Ratched from Dr. Hemnhaws office. We have the results from your mammogram and ultra sound.”
She’s not really Nurse Ratched. She’s actually pretty nice. Well, at the beginning of the conversation she’s nice.
“Everything looked fine. But Dr. Hemnhaw wants to know if you’d like to see a surgeon.”
I thought you just said that everything looked fine?
“Yes, I did. But the doctor wants to know if you’d like to see a surgeon. Just in case.”
Just in case what? If everything looked fine, why do I need to see a surgeon?
“To make sure everything IS fine.”
But the mammogram, which was a special diagnostic mammogram, said that everything was fine and the ultra sound that they did just to make sure the special mammogram wasn’t lying said everything was fine. Why does the doctor think I need to see a surgeon?
“I didn’t say she thinks you need to see a surgeon. She wants to know if YOU want to see a surgeon.”
Why would I want to see a surgeon if the tests say I’m fine?
“Just to be sure.”
Be sure of what?
Nurse Ratched is now becoming a little ratched-a-fied.
“To make sure it’s nothing to be concerned about.”
Is Dr. Hemnhaw concerned?
“Listen. I’m just reading her notes. It says that the mammogram and ultra sound were normal. That the patient needs a follow-up in one year and then Dr. Hemnhaw wrote, ‘Ask if patient wants to see a surgeon.’”
Well, I’m not a doctor. Shouldn’t a doctor determine whether I should see a surgeon or not?
(Exasperated sigh heard over the phone. Make that, over both ends of the phone.)
I’m not trying to be difficult. I’m just trying to understand. The diagnostic mammogram was fine. The ultra sound was fine. But the doctor, with the medical training I lack, wants to know if I want to see a surgeon. Does she want to start up a blog?
(Ok. I didn’t really ask that last question. But I wanted to. I asked this one, instead.)
Could they tell what the mass was?
“It doesn’t say. It just says that everything looked normal and to have a follow-up in a year. I just need to know if you want to see a surgeon or not.”
Uh. Well. I’m going to go right out and get my medical degree.
I’ll have to get back to you on that.
(To the dear, sweet bloggy friend – you know who you are – who helped me decipher my doctor’s question: Thank you. A million thank yous. You put my mind at ease when the nurse/doctors couldn’t. This blogging community is amazing. I appreciate all of your concern and well wishes. Thankfully, all is well. But you already knew that, didn’t you? You’re all the best! The absolute best readers a girl could ask for!)