Son Drops the “S” Word! Queen Mother of Dirty Words! (To a 6 yr. old, that is)

“MOMMY! #2son said the S word!” shouted my #1son from upstairs.

My heart skipped a beat. I racked my brain, trying to remember when I might have slipped. Was it when I spilled coffee all over my blouse getting into the car yesterday morning? Or when I rolled through that stop sign and THEN saw the police car in my rear view mirror?

“MOMMY! #2son said the S word! He needs to go in time out!” #1 son is now standing in front of me, demanding  justice.

“What exactly did he say?” I said, sternly. “And remember. You’re tattling – so it better be worth it.”

I held my breath, waiting for his reply.

“He said ‘Shut up’ and you’re not supposed to say ‘shut up,’ ” #1son said, triumphantly.

I breathed a sigh of relief and said, “You’re right. That’s not nice and we don’t say shut up. Just ignore him.”

I led #1son back upstairs to play so I could finish dinner.

“Mom, there are two S words, right?”

Oh no. Heart pounding, I scowled. That darn husband of mine. Letting loose like a sailor in front of the boys. Leaving me to deal with potty mouth. Next I’ll be getting phone calls from parents. I could just see it, unwrapping the bar of soap, placing it between his teeth – my husband, not the boys.

“Riiiiggghhhtt,” I said very slowly.

“Yep. There’s shut up and stupid. And I don’t say those words. Those are bad words!” #1son says, proudly.

My heart starts beating again at a comfortable pace. I’m able to exhale with ease.

How I dodged the bullet this time, I honestly don’t know.

Thank goodness it wasn’t the F word. (Freak, people. Geez!)

13 Comments

Filed under children, funny

13 responses to “Son Drops the “S” Word! Queen Mother of Dirty Words! (To a 6 yr. old, that is)

  1. Haha that story is just CLASSIC! 😆

    While I’m not a parent yet, I have a lot of little cousins that you have to “walk on eggshells” with when speaking around them. At these ages they’re basically sponges.

    Don’t worry though, as annoyed as another parent might get…and as much as they might lie that they’re not: they’re equally as worried as you. 😀

    The two most important things IMO as a parent are: keeping ’em safe, and satisfying their Dora/Wiggles/latest hype needs. 😛 Haha

  2. That is so funny! My daughter does the same thing to me with the “S” word!

  3. Once I was riding with my Mom in the car when she had looked after my son the day before and she said something about him ‘saying the f-word’. I said ‘WHAT?’ and she said, ‘oh no, I mean he literally said “the f-word” and I said “do you know what the f-word is?” and he said “no, but somebody said there is one”‘.

  4. Umm, when my son was little we went thru this with the F word. I was informed he said it. And thinking to de-power it, I announced to him: You said F__k?
    No, he tells me, he said “fart.”

    They still raz me about that one. You were much smarter.

  5. This is great everyone! Good to know I’m not alone!

  6. This is SO not going to last:)

  7. My daughter will have a potty mouth, it is unavoidable between me and my husband. Rather than stress over every slip, I just tell her those are “at home words”. She can only say them at home.

  8. Ha! I’m glad to hear there are so many alternative “s” words! I’m still trying to figure out how to stop swearing before my baby gets here! Or at least before he’s old enough to start absorbing (and repeating) everything I say.

  9. Oops moment, definitely. Now why was there a police car in your rear view mirror…….. ha ha!

  10. LZ

    That’s great! I love how awful they think these words are…I made the mistake of saying ‘shut up’ to my husband (meaning ‘no way’, not close your mouth) and my daughter went on about for 10 minutes. I was not being courteous to Daddy, I probably hurt Daddy’s feelings. Of course, he went right along and said that I was. Grrr.

  11. LOL. You got me! We are not allowed to say Shut up and Stupid either in our house. 🙂 But my oldest has been saying “What the…” a lot. I even wrote a post on it because I think there is an epidemic going on: I’ve heard it a lot lately, on kids shows! *ugh* But this is a great post! Here’s to not to have to worry about the REAL McCoy for another 5 years? (Too greedy?)

  12. Isn’t their innocence refreshing? Kids say the funniest things sometimes!

  13. Adorable. Except the near heart attack he gave you.

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