Never Say Never and Never, Ever Do This!

I once had a friend in Savannah. Whose name was not Joan, Sue or Hannah. Her opinions were right. Every day, every night. And she often lost friends over na-nah.

Ok, so I made up that last word. I’m using it as in “Na, na, you can’t catch me!” I couldn’t think how to use the word banana and still get my point across. And I didn’t really mean to start this out as a limerick; it just sort of happened. Anyway….

This friend would always say, “I would NEVER give my child soda,” “We ALWAYS honor our son’s bedtime,” and “My child will NEVER watch Spongebob.” She was an always and never kind of gal. I’d laugh and say, “Never say never.” And sure enough, as the years went on, she’d live to eat her words. We all do. But here’s one “never” that I’m pretty sure about….

When your dentist tells you that your teeth are for chewing food and that’s it? Believe her. I was checking in with Jennifer at My Wildlife’s Words and found this post. And she was brave enough to post a picture. I have the same tooth but mine is already fixed with cosmetic dentistry – I’m assuming she’s on her way to the dentist now.

About 8 years ago my daughter and I were hanging out. She was doing her homework. I was grading papers. I needed to take a staple out and couldn’t find the staple puller. I looked at her and said, “NEVER do this!” and proceeded to take the staple out with my front teeth. CRACK! My tooth was chipped. Great lesson for her. Painful lesson for me. But I can safely say to you now, “NEVER use your teeth as staple pulling tools. ALWAYS use your teeth for chewing food ONLY.”

Take it from me – the Never Say Never Gal.

I mean it this time.

17 Comments

Filed under Lessons Learned, Soapbox

17 responses to “Never Say Never and Never, Ever Do This!

  1. My mom used to always tell me to never say never… and although it’s a good piece of advice, I must say I will NEVER take staples out with my teeth!! That must have been painful!
    -Jen

  2. Regretfully, I am not that brave…alas, that tooth picture is not me….but it could have been if not for the fingernail polish incident….HALF a back tooth just chipped right off. I learned the hard way…..it is a stubborn streak that was very hard on the choppers!!

  3. ck

    At least yours chipped on something that WASN’T supposed to be in your mouth. I lost half of a molar to a sour dough pretzel. (But that was probably because my “never” was in relation to how often I flossed…)

  4. OUCH! It hurt to even READ about the staple!

    I broke one once on some Ben & Jerry’s Chunky Monkey ice cream.

  5. Ouch!! And Chunkey Monkey – oh no!! LOL!!

  6. I have caught both of my kiddos trying to open things or take things apart with their teeth – a behavior modeled after my mother’s way of doing things. I can’t even imagine how much that hurts!

    (And one would think Maren would know better being 2.5-years-old and already having had a tooth pulled!)

  7. Repeat after me: teeth are not tools. I too, have learned this the hard way…

    I also had to have a root canal after crunching into a CornNut once…never eaten one of those since!

  8. That must of been so painful. I want to laugh at your post but I think it might be rude…….. but then again maybe not, ha ha!

  9. Ouch, how embarassing to say to your 8 year old “NEVER do this!” and then crack off the front of your tooth! My kids would just crack up!

    This post made me smile. I have my share of crowns so I’m not in position to judge.

  10. Lee

    Well, that is one way to teach your daughter a lesson!!

  11. Cripes, how chunky was that monkey?

    My daughter’s friend says her grandmother always says ‘your teeth are jewels, not tools’. Kind of sanctimonious, but true I guess.

    Every time I eat corn nuts I’m convinced I’m going to break a tooth. Now that I know it’s actually happened, I’ll have to rethink the whole corn-nut issue.

  12. Ow. Just ow.

    The only incident with staples I can recall in our house was when Jen stapled her finger. I probably wasn’t born yet but it’s a story that is STILL told. So be warned, your grandchildren just might learn from your error…

  13. Modernmom

    I couldn’t even bring myself to go look at the picture!
    Love that your friend is now eating her own words….I think we all do:)

  14. Pingback: Wrinkled Boobs, Lucky Charms Cakes And Helping You To Spell Flummoxed – Guess I’m Just A Wealth Of Information « Theycallmejane's Blog

  15. Pingback: Wrinkled Boobs, Lucky Charms Cakes And Helping You To Spell Flummoxed – Guess I’m Just A Wealth Of Information « Theycallmejane's Blog

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