Mom Gettin’ Dirty With…..HUH?!?!?

I still don’t have all of this blog stuff figured out. But I’m learning something new every day and that’s a good thing. In WordPress, which is where you are this very minute, I have a Dashboard and a Blog Stats page. On these pages I can find out interesting facts, statistics, if you will, about my blog. I’m not terribly obsessive but I DO like numbers. My husband calls me “The Woman Who Counted,” after the book “The Man Who Counted” by Malba Tahan (great book, by the way!). But I digress….you’re used to this by now, right? Anyhoo….

I’m continually intrigued by the kind of posts that garner the most views. Hot topics – people like. Boring pictures (which I like) or music videos? Not so much. When I write for myself, I have about an 80% approval rate from you all. Not that I’m trying to gain approval. But I’m glad I inspire some of you to think out of the box. I’m not trying to win any rewards, although that IS nice, so thank you Robin and Felicia. I enjoy sharing my thoughts. Reaching out to people I might not otherwise reach. Meeting new people and discovering new ideas. Tackling new terrain. I enjoy being pushed a little out of my comfort zone, a little being the operative phrase.  

But this? This is a bit too far out of my comfort zone. Ok. A Lot out of my comfort zone. Uh-uh. No Way! This is a bit creepy.

On my stats page there is a little section called Search Engine Terms: These are terms people used to find your blog. “The skinny kid anorexia” – Ok, that was probably from the post I did about average being beautiful.   “Peanut butter no bake cookies” – a recipe post about one of my favorite cooking memories. “Turtle good feng shui” – the picture post about our turtle visitor. “Rest in Peace” – the recent post when we found out my daughter’s boyfriend just died. But this next one? I’m already getting the heebie jeebies…..

Are you ready?

Ok…..wait for it….wait for it….and shoo the kids out of the room while you’re at it….

**holding my breath**

“Mother getting dirty with son and girlfr”

EWWWWWWWW. Seriously? And one of MY posts popped up? Which one? It’s gotta be this one: Son Drops the “S” Word! Queen Mother of Dirty Words! (To a 6 yr. old, that is) . It has the word son, mother and dirty all in the title. So some sicko, searching about getting dirty with mothers, sons and their girlfrs (what IS a girlfr, anyway? 1/2 a girlfriend?).  Ewwwww. And then they clicked on my blog hoping to find some hot fun but they found a mundane story about my 6 yr. old.  I’m sure I disappointed them. But did they not read the entire title and then just look away?

So I’m warning all of you out there. If you don’t want weirdos (of the strange, sick variety of course, not cute, quirky, loveable weirdos like me) stalking your pages, be careful! Use your words wisely. Clever titles sometimes equal creepy search engine fodder.

I’m still a little disturbed…..creeped out…..

Oh, I feel so used.

19 Comments

Filed under Lessons Learned

19 responses to “Mom Gettin’ Dirty With…..HUH?!?!?

  1. ck

    Ha! You’re not alone. Thought I’d go into my stats and pull a sample of what people searched for yesterday that directed them to my blog:

    eatingdogfeces
    how to get dog to hump me
    truly pervy pics

    Feeling any better?

  2. I just ignore that crap; it’ll drive you insane!

  3. Ewwww is right! I too would be grossed out by that. One of my worst hits was “sever leg with chainsaw”. Either some psycho or a klutz! I once wrote a post that had the words “thong” & “toddler” in it and that post gets so many search engine hits, you wouldn’t believe! Crazy, sick people out that.

  4. You are not alone — I’ve been shocked by the key words that have popped up on my statistics page, too!! But I’m too embarrassed to share!! LOL!!

  5. Mine aren’t so often pervy or icky, but just plain weird.

    -fear of submersion
    -totally balanced mom
    -starting a blog about a beautiful fat, emotional woman trying to find love and acceptance
    -what if i breath too much bleach
    -15 whiplashes without pants
    -amanda soule blake hypocrite
    -bugs, i hate bugs it make me crazy
    -cheese makes you dream vividly
    -fruit make me go to the bathroom
    -how to become ridiculously fat in less than one day
    -it’s my birthday blow me pants
    -shapely robot out of contruction paper

    Just… why?

  6. Oh no! You have to read my Not Me Monday that I did today. Someone googled something really weird to get to my blog too 😦
    It is so embarrassing! Why are people googling this stuff?

  7. I love looking at those stats. I get a bunch of “reproduction in Suv” 🙂

  8. Ok, ladies. These are all great! Do me a favor and start keeping track of some of your best ones. And next week we’ll do a meme on strange search engine terms to find our posts. We can make our best guess as to which post they were “linked” to. How about it? Anybody in?

  9. I don’t have that many search engine referrals yet… but my weirdest one so far is “boob trample.” Boob trample?? What…??

    People are strange. Really, really strange.

    I’m totally in for the strange search engine terms used to find our posts!

    -Jen

  10. I never get any of the creepy searches so I can write this post. Faemom gets the funniest ones and you get the dirty ones, not fair. lol 😀

  11. I have some gross ones but the best was wrinkled boobs and sex wrinkled boobs. I posted about the crinkling sounds my breast pads made while nursing and how very sexy it was!

  12. My best is, “When I take Immodium I poop great, without, diarrhea.” Seriously?! Someone searched that?! And wound up on my blog?!

    I too am a numbers girl . . . my dream job would be as a statistician for a professional baseball team. Because I am a nerd like that.

  13. angelcel

    Writing blogs does ‘expose’ (can I use that word?) us to the seemier side of life and I’m with you, sometimes I wish those search terms weren’t on the dashboard/stats page. It’s a constant irritation to me that the most hits I get in any one day will be probably be something to do with ‘no knickers’ (after a piece I wrote about a girl at Royal Ascot when the wind blew her dress up). I mean, really, I could be Leo Tolstoy here, producing the next great tome, but all these people *really* want is to sneak a peak at a girl with apparently with no knickers! Give me a break will ye?!

  14. I get such a kick out of how people got to my blog as creepy and odd they might be (“anatomically correct boy dolls” was one that struck me as strange) but I try to ignore most of them… it’s the anonymous creepy comments I get that upset me. Those are the people that spend the time reading and then writing something offensive or disturbing. THOSE people need to get a life! I love the numbers too – my husband thinks I’m obsessive compulsive!

  15. LOL. You are probably creeped out, and I bet you took a shower, or two. 😉 Just to make you feel better, one search term that led to my blog was “the look of a serial killer” or something like that. WHO searched for THAT?

  16. I’m constantly disturbed by the terms people use to find my blog. There are some truly sick people out there.

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