Black Friday Is Worth Every Penny And Then Some

I grew up a bit of a tomboy. I’ve always lacked some very typical “girly” genes. Much to my daughter’s chagrin I’m not much into jewelry and lots of make-up. I don’t like to talk long on the phone. I’m soooo like a guy when it comes to talking (or not talking, as the case may be) about my feelings or arguing or even just communicating in a relationship. (I know, nothing to be proud of. I’m working on it.) I played softball but wanted to play baseball as a kid. I love camping out under the stars. I wore garter snakes around my wrists much to the delight of the boys in the neighborhood. And I’ve never liked to shop. Ever.

Still don’t. So when my 17 yr. old daughter asked if we could shop on Black Friday I laughed. Out loud. When she told me she was serious, I eyed her suspiciously.

“Only if we go at 5am,” I said, confident that she would back down immediately. You see, I’m a morning person. She’s a night person. A very late night person. She sleeps ’till noon every chance she gets. I knew I was safe.

“Ok!” she said enthusiastically.

Huh? What the…? How did that happen? I then tried to weasel out of it.

“Seriously? You’ll get up at 4:30? I don’t think so. Besides, I don’t think the stores you’ll want to shop even open up that early.”

Remember? I don’t like to shop. So in my forty-something years I’ve never shopped on Black Friday. I’ve avoided it like the plague. I thought only large discount stores and appliance stores were open at that un-godly hour the day after Thanksgiving. 

“No, I already checked,” she said, “The mall opens at 5am.”

Rats. I was stymied. I had no idea where to go from there to get out of it.

“Ok…….” I said, voice trailing. I still had 5 more days to figure out how to get out of it. Surely, something would come to me.

But Thanksgiving Day arrived and I still didn’t have a way out. And she was so excited. Sharing this story with my sister on the phone she chastised my lack of enthusiasm.

“You set that alarm for 4:30am and enjoy yourselves. You’re creating memories,” she said, “Just don’t forget your helmet and elbow pads.”

Yikes. That got me. Especially since my stomach sinks every time my daughter receives a letter from a college trying to recruit her. I’m trying to cherish every moment she wants to spend with me. What was my problem?

So on Friday morning, we woke up before the crack of dawn and set out. We drove past our local Wal-Mart at 5:15am. Every, and I mean EVERY parking spot was taken. People were parking on the grass, off the curb. I’ve never seen it so busy. What was I getting myself into?

We arrived at the mall by 5:30am. It was busy but not unbearable. We shopped. We laughed. We waited in lines. I had to go check out the deals at the Disney Store (of course) and she reluctantly tagged along. The line was about 10 people deep and she rolled her eyes. “This is just like waiting in line for the rides, ” she groaned. But when we went to Hollister (her favorite store) the line for the cash register winded, weaved and wove through the store. “This must be SOME roller coaster!” I said excitedly. She pretended not to know me.

We chatted on the way to other stores. We chatted over coffee. We chatted in lines. We chatted in the car on the way to lunch. We observed people and talked about that. She shared with me things that were going on with school and with her friends. We reminisced. Mostly light things but some heavy things came up, too. And when the heavy things surfaced it slipped into our conversation easy, calm. I was able to share things I’ve always wanted to say – things every parent should say. She shared with me her feelings with little awkwardness. (She is a teenager, after all.)

It was an amazing day.

I remember hearing Dr. Phil impart his wisdom on teenagers once. He said (and I’m paraphrasing here) that if you want your kids to talk to you about the big things then you’d better listen to the little things. In theory, I wholeheartedly agreed. But then, I was able to see it in motion.

I’ve always felt I was a pretty involved parent. But days like this remind me I can always do more. Listening to those little things – how many sisters we could tell were shopping together, who her friends were dating, the latest fashion must-haves, how awful school lunches were – turned into conversations and snippets of some really big things. (And since I’d like to preserve some of her privacy I’m just going to let you guess what those were.) I heard her thoughts. She heard mine. It was amazing conversation with a little shopping thrown in. We enjoyed ourselves so much we’ve decided to make it a yearly tradition.

I saved a good bit of money on Black Friday. I lost a little sleep. Looking back, it was a simple gesture that became grand. And I can’t believe I tried to get out of it. What a shame that would have been.

12 Comments

Filed under Lessons Learned, parenting

12 responses to “Black Friday Is Worth Every Penny And Then Some

  1. Wow Jane, that sounds like an amazing trip in so many ways! As a high school teacher, I am often aware of how many parents have no idea what’s going on in their kids lives. Kudos to you for being a loving and involved mom who knows what is going on in her kids’ lives and is there to support them. I can still remember my mom and I shopping on Saturday mornings and all the amazing memories we shared. It really made me feel loved, and the great deals we got were awesome but definitely secondary.

  2. Steven Harris

    What a wonderful morning to spend with your daughter. And I must say, I’d be happy going at five in the morning with my kids if it meant avoiding the worst of the rush and craziness that comes with most trips to town.

  3. What a great bonding experience with your daughter! And you know, you initially did it for HER, but it ended up being a gift for you both.

    Here’s to a new tradition!

  4. I remember having that bonding adventure with my daughters. They’d present a plan at each store–wing right, Mom…Sis, you take center aisle…I’ll go left.
    In the chic stores where I was clueless, they’d station me in the snaking line to save time.
    A gooey coffee drink and much giggling…perfect end!

    Did I go out alone this year? Heck, no!!!!

  5. The whole “Black Friday” phenomenon is fairly new to me, and so far avoiding it like the plague. The thought of wall to wall people doesn’t appeal. Probably going with someone would make it a lot more enjoyable, though. I very enjoyed your post. Even though my daughter is young, we still have our best converesations when we’re doing something together that she enjoys. I imagine it’s even more the case with teenagers!

  6. life2us

    One of those things that you do that aren’t about “you” per se, and end up being beyond worth it. Sounds like it was beyond worth it for you.

    Love the line about listening to the little things. I’m a big believer in that!

  7. Glad you had a good time. Now who was the wise person that said this would be how memories are made? *sigh* Now, you think any of my boys would want to go shopping with me? 😉

  8. My husband jokingly rolled over at 4 am and said “Target is open, you wanna go?” I laughed and rolled back over…..After your story maybe I should have offered the opportunity up to my almost teenage son who watches his mom with her friends and family shop till she drops on Black Friday. It’s never about the deals, it has always been about the experience. He knows that ( his mom is not a shopper either)…Having raised one teenage child with another coming up shortly behind, this would have been a good time-Just me and him. All day, till we dropped. I think he would have taken up the chance. Damn, if I only I had read this blog post sooner!

  9. Well, hell, I’ve finally heard a good reason to brave the nonsense. Good for both of you. That’s an awesome memory.

  10. I’m happy you had an amazing experience. Me? There isn’t anything in any store on earth that would get me out of a warm bed and standing in line at 4am! Fortunately, my children feel the same way. We can shop with the best of ’em and till be drop . . . beginning at 10am. Maybe even noon. 😉

  11. I love this. So happy that you had that day with your girl. What a lovely reminder for me now, as I watch two tiny girls grow up before my eyes. I look forward to days like that with my girls and hope to have them. “…if you want your kids to talk to you about the big things then you’d better listen to the little things.” Life is all about the little things, isn’t it?

    Wonderful post.

  12. What a great way to bond! That’s awesome. Though for some reason it makes me feel better I have boys (because no one will want to get up to go shopping that early!).

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