Daily Archives: March 16, 2010

Sometimes I’m Perfect. Sometimes? Not So Much.

My lack of sleep is making me grumpy. And I almost featured a grumpy song today. But I don’t want to be grumpy. Music always pulls me out of a funk and this funky song made me smile. It reminded me that bad moods are fleeting. Just hang on another day. And keep trying.

“Sometimes, i feel like i can do anything
Sometimes i’m so alive…so alive” – I’ve experienced this invincibility more now that I’ve had children. Of course, they reinforce that with their expectation that I can fix anything from xBox remotes to scraped knees. I am most alive when I am around them, feeding off their energy. And yes, sometimes I feel like Supermom.

“Sometimes, i wanna cry” – Every parent has deep, dark moments. I am no exception. Overwhelmed. Scared they’ll show up on the Dr. Phil show one day. Paranoid that they’ll only have bad memories of their childhood. Or a flood of tears hearing about another parent struggle with a child with cancer or an untimely death. Please spare me that pain, I pray silently.

“Most people try to aim to please
But a lot of them are kinda weak at the knees” – That’s me. I’m not the pleaser I used to be but I still hate to say “No.” Especially to my kids. I’m easily manipulated. I’m a master at avoidance. This trait has not served me well.

“One minute gotcha holdin’ an ace
The next minute gotcha fall on yer face” – Mostly an optimistic person. But there are times when things are going so well I hold my breath, waiting for my luck to change.  And then it sneaks up on you. Bam!

“A mean city is a nasty place
Only a rat can win a rat race!” – Isn’t that the truth? We moved closer to “The Big City” to expose our children to more diversity. And sometimes it was more than we bargained for. The price of an education.

“Peace to the people who be fallin’ away
To make it home today
And peace to the people who be tryin’ to find
Some kinda life” – But we all want acceptance and love. We all want to be recognized for our talents and contributions. We’re all in the same boat. Striving for perfection. Just trying to do what’s best for the ones we love.

“Biggest mistakes are the humanest kind
Judge not, lest you be judged
The court room or the billy club” – We all make them. Yes, even parents. I try so hard to forgive myself. Learn from it. Move on. I can try to be the perfect mother. But I will never be perfect. I will, however, be the perfect mother for my children. Of that, I am certain.

“Peace to the people who be losin’ their head
Peace to the people who be needin’ a bed
Love to the people who be feelin’ alone
Spreadin’ love upon the microphone
Hope to the people to be feelin’ down
Smile to the people who be wearin’ a frown
Faith to the people who be seekin’ the truth y’all
All of the time…My love never stops….Never stops” 

(I suppose I’m on a Michael Franti & Spearhead kick because I’ve featured Say Hey on another post. He’s just that good! Happy Tuesday, y’all!)

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