Some Things I Will Never Understand

1. With good and food. Why don’t they rhyme? Gud fud or gewwwd fewwwd. They should rhyme, doggone it.  

2. A cap on the oil spill. They didn’t think of that, oh say, on April 21st?

3. Why hasn’t time travel been invented yet? It’s way past 1984. Heck, we’re almost ten years past the year 2001. C’mon people! Get a move on! Get it? Move on? (I crack myself up.)

4. Why is it that re-tracing my steps jogs my memory like nothing else. I’m not kidding. I can find anything, remember anything, solve half the world’s problems if I just take the time to re-trace my steps.

5. My teenage daughter. ‘Nuff said.

6. Apparently, after extensive research, scientists have concluded that the chicken came before the egg. Who decided this was a worthy project and who funded it?

7. With caller id – do I say, “Hello Joe!” or do I say, “Hello?” as if I don’t know Joe is calling? Seriously. This keeps me up at night.

8. I just don’t get it. I invent things all the time but when I finally Google it, to make sure I’m the first, someone has always beat me to the patent? Always. As in, every single time.

9. Twitter and asymmetrical haircuts. They still puzzle me. Still.

10.  How is it no one has seen the extreme similarities between Madonna and Lady Gaga? Oh. Yeah. Because of what my 13-year-old niece said: “Who is Madonna?” (Oh. Wait. Someone has noticed it. And the mash-up video below is fantastic!)


Filed under Completely Random

26 responses to “Some Things I Will Never Understand

  1. Oh my goodess! We are kindred spirits. I have thought the same as you on EVERY ITEM on this list. Especially the caller-id thing. I say “Hello Joe,” and Joe is startled. I don’t say it, and Joe feels slighted. The dilemmas of our lives…

  2. Oh wow, I never thought about the Madonna and Lady Gaga similarites. I wonder if Madonna has noticed it? Would be interesting to hear her reaction.

  3. unabridgedgirl

    The good/food plight is a fair one, indeed! I think they should rhyme as well.

  4. I’d rather they put all efforts at time travel exploration into stopping the aging process instead 🙂

  5. Funny list!!! I’m still not sure about Twitter even though I do it!

  6. I love the list! I wonder all of the same things!
    And the mash-up was awesome! I love Madonna AND Gaga!

    Okay, that was a lot of exclamation points! 🙂

  7. How about when you have caller ID, and the person calling KNOWS you have caller ID, and you know that they know that you have caller ID, but everyone is still just as startled when you say, “hello, Joe!”?? That’s the one that always gets me.
    Oh, and this linguist has NO idea on the good/food, except that they come from different etymological roots. Good came from God, pronounced like “g-oh-d”, and food came from Greek. Your welcome.
    And now, to rock out to Madonna.

  8. So many deep issues, so little time! Just by examining the questions you pose, however, we can tell how truly advanced you are. Just like a true seeker of knowledge should be!

    I never thought about it before, but I always pretend I don’t know who it is when I answer a caller ID phone call. It’s embarrassing to say, “About time you called about putting your hands in my pants,” only to find out it’s someone’s mother (or worse)! Besides, I like to play things close to the vest and always keep them guessing. So I choose to play dumb when I answer.

  9. Along with time travel, how come there hasn’t been an invention for the fountain of youth? And no, I don’t think plastic surgery counts.

    Thanks for the laugh Jane.

    Have a good weekend.

  10. LOL. Oh! I enjoy you all so much! So very, very much!

  11. Oh you crack me up – love it!

  12. I’m still puzzled by the caller ID thing!! Glad I’m not the only one!

  13. Good/food, love/prove or height/weight. Puzzled, eh? Now put yourself in shoes of an English learner. A loud “Teacher, wa-eeeeeeee?” resonates in my ears as I picture my little students struggling with the same, obvious lack of logic.

  14. Things in life that make you go hmmmm.

  15. LOL. Agreed with so many things, esp. my kids.

  16. #7 leaves me laughing, and #10 is just sad. It’s so obvious that gaga modeled after madonna. (Of course, I had to ask: who is Lady Gaga? Now THAT’S just sad!)

  17. What I don’t get is, when you call a wrong number and you hang up. Because why leave a message for a person you don’t know, have never met, and don’t have a thing to say to. Then the person (who you don’t know calls you back) to ask what you wanted. The other day when this happened…I said to the caller “I’m so sorry but I called your number by mistake” and she said “well next time it would be nice if you left a message.” And I have heard that next up us financing an exhausted report on why
    the chicken crossed the road. Can’t wait. Thanks Jane, for a post that made me smile and ponder…


  18. I am so grateful for your humor! I blogged on #8 this week – it’s a personal pet peeve of mine.

  19. bearyweather

    Thank you for the smiles.

  20. Love the video. Oh yeah Lady Gaga is so influenced by Madonna, and often scenes in her videos are a total rip off of a similar scene from a Madonna video. Or should I call it a tribute?

  21. Hehehe. Thank you for the giggles! 🙂

  22. Delightful list! (A good chuckle.)

  23. Joe

    How about stomach and spinach? Why do they not sound the same at the end? Language of origin, maybe? Is English ever a language of origin, or is it always German or Latin or French? Does English only borrow from others?

    And I think on caller ID, it depends on your relationship with Joe, or his comfort with technology. You don’t want to confuse someone by thinking they’re being watched by the government or aliens. Close friends, say “Hi Joe.” Grandpa, say “Hello?”

  24. Here’s my take on the caller ID thing — and I was just as baffled until I decided to do this: I just say hello. Goodness knows that half the time I pick up the phone, I’m in the middle of something else. I may not have the wherewithal to look at the display to see who it is. So if I don’t say the person’s name, I may not actually be pretending not to know! And if the person is bothered enough to ask why I didn’t recognize the name/number, I can easily tell him/her exactly that.

  25. I always pretend ignorance, even with caller ID…it *is* weird, isn’t it?

    And nobody will ever figure out the teenage girl. Ever.

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