So, I’ve told you my mom is crazy, right? Well, guess what? I’m crazy, too. (Some of you already knew that – at least after reading yesterday’s post you now know.)
I’m mostly OCD with a little bit of plain ol’ crazy mixed in to keep things interesting.
How am I crazy? Ahhhh…let me count the ways.
10. I check to see if the car doors are, indeed, locked more than is necessary. And I involve my kids in the practice. Ever helpful #1son is often volunteering to run back to the car and check for me. And I let him.
9. Whenever I hear a child cry in a public place I must get up and locate the distressed little soul and make sure that a parent is taking adequate care of the situation. My husband calls this crazy. I call it “It Takes A Village.”
8. I boycotted shopping at Abercrombie and Fitch because of an ad they ran in 1992 that offended me. No one else. Just me. They hit a nerve with something personal I was going through. So I refused to shop there ever again. And I haven’t. Eighteen years later and I held true to my boycott – until last week. When my daughter got a job at one of their stores. Darn this economy and having to take what you can get.
7. I’m obsessive about a clean kitchen or bathroom. You could eat off the floor in either area. But do not, I repeat, DO NOT look under my bed. Or eat anything there. Yuck.
6. Give me a choice between a trip to Hawaii and a trip to Disney World? Disney wins every time. An all expenses paid trip around the world and a trip to Disney World? Sadly, yes. I’d pick Disney. An engraved invitation to a State Dinner at the White House (take that, Salahis!) and a trip to Disney World? Well, maybe I’d go to the State Dinner just to sashay past the Salahis but after dessert can I still go to Disney? (My daughter doesn’t call me Disney Dork for nothin’.)
5. I remember skating around everyone, and I mean literally sliding and skating past everyone in my socks on our hardwood floors, getting ready for a holiday party and thinking how nuts this must look. It felt like my family was moving in slow motion, without a care in the world that we had 100 guests about to show up and the house was still a wreck and food still needed to be put out. I was a raving lunatic. Not a proud moment, but a defining one. I’d like to say I’m no longer crazy in that regard. Dear sweet hubby? Can you please confirm that one for me?
4. I’ve been known to lock the door behind me, take two steps and go back to make sure that the door is truly locked. Doesn’t matter that I heard the click. Doesn’t matter that I pulled the door firmly. Doesn’t even matter that I checked it as soon as I locked it. What is it with me and locked doors?
3. For as long as I’ve entertained guests in my own home, it took me almost 20 years to buy a butter dish. Twenty years. Why? Because this saucer will do and besides, they’re too expensive. (Yes, I actually said too expensive.) I finally bought one. $3.99 at Williams Sonoma Outlet. Yep. I put the cheap in cheap-skate.
2. It drives my kids crazy that I smile (or so they say) while I’m “yelling” (I don’t yell. I raise my voice) at them. Apparently, my facial expressions do not match the intensity of my words. But according to my daughter, that’s just weird, not necessarily crazy.
And the number one reason I’m crazy…
1. I admitted to Kitch last week that, while I feel overwhelmed and unable to keep up with my self-imposed 4-posts-a-week assignment, I can’t seem to skip it. No matter how hard I try. Why? Because I like how my little calendar looks (go ahead and peek, it’s over there to the right) with it’s pretty little M, T, T, and F columns all highlighted just so. There’s something in me that can’t disrupt the pattern. Just the thought of a “wrong” day being highlighted (or not) makes me all uncomfortable. I’m not kidding about this.
Now that’s crazy!
(What’s your crazy?)
10 Ways To Avoid Writing A Blog Post
10. Do laundry. Lots of laundry. And when you’re done with the laundry, launder things that have never been laundered before. (Yes, I actually did this today. Shoot me now.)
9. Google things. For an hour. When nothing inspires you, Google some more. You just might learn something.
8. Stalk old flames on Facebook. (Embarrassing, but true.)
7. Use Google Earth to check out the neighborhood where you grew up. Count how many blocks you walked to school and notice all the empty lots and boarded up houses. Be glad you still don’t live there.
6. Get rubbing alcohol and some Q-tips. Clean all the gunk between the keyboard keys.
5. Visit all the blogs in your “Needs Further Research” folder looking for inspiration. Realize why they needed further research in the first place.
4. Visit your favorite blogs for inspiration. Realize you will never match their brilliance, hence the reason they are your favorites.
3. Visit the bloggers who comment on other blogs. Realize for as many really great blogs there are, there are twice as many boring ones. (Sorry. Just being honest.)
2. Visit every single person who has ever commented on your blog. Be inspired by their posts. Begin to write your own and realize you are creeping dangerously close to every form of plagiarism out there. Quit while you’re ahead.
And the #1 one way to avoid writing a blog post?
1. Create a list. Any kind of list. And see if anyone notices that it actually turned into a blog post.
Filed under Blogging, Completely Random
Tagged as blogging, blogs, comments, posts, procrastinate, procrastinating, procrastination