Son Drops the “S” Word! Queen Mother of Dirty Words! (To a 6 yr. old, that is)

(OK. When you have three kids you have to give everyone the same amount of press time. Here is a classic story from my family archives about son#1. If you’re a long time reader – long time in Blog Years, that is – you’ll remember this from last year. I’ve been travelling all weekend for my brother-in-law’s memorial service and frankly, I have no faith that I’ll be able to produce a post worth reading today. So, please. Enjoy one of my favorites!)

“MOMMY! #2son said the S word!” shouted my #1son from upstairs.

My heart skipped a beat. I racked my brain, trying to remember when I might have slipped. Was it when I spilled coffee all over my blouse getting into the car yesterday morning? Or when I rolled through that stop sign and THEN saw the police car in my rear view mirror?

“MOMMY! #2son said the S word! He needs to go in time out!” #1 son is now standing in front of me, demanding  justice.

“What exactly did he say?” I said, sternly. “And remember. You’re tattling – so it better be worth it.”

I held my breath, waiting for his reply.

“He said ‘Shut up’ and you’re not supposed to say ‘shut up,’ ” #1son said, triumphantly.

I breathed a sigh of relief and said, “You’re right. That’s not nice and we don’t say shut up. Just ignore him.”

I led #1son back upstairs to play so I could finish dinner.

“Mom, there are two S words, right?”

Oh no. Heart pounding, I scowled. That darn husband of mine. Letting loose like a sailor in front of the boys. Leaving me to deal with potty mouth. Next I’ll be getting phone calls from parents. I could just see it, unwrapping the bar of soap, placing it between his teeth – my husband, not the boys.

“Riiiiggghhhtt,” I said very slowly.

“Yep. There’s shut up and stupid. And I don’t say those words. Those are bad words!” #1son says, proudly.

My heart starts beating again at a comfortable pace. I’m able to exhale with ease.

How I dodged the bullet this time, I honestly don’t know.

Thank goodness it wasn’t the F word.

(Freak, people. Geez!)


Filed under children, funny

24 responses to “Son Drops the “S” Word! Queen Mother of Dirty Words! (To a 6 yr. old, that is)

  1. This was cute! Your off-limit words are a lot like ours…! I hope you are home sweet home again.

    Kb ♥

  2. Steven Harris

    Holy stupid that was close 😉

  3. I actually think shut up and stupid are worse than the original s-word! Thinking of you.

  4. This is so cute! Love this post. My sons used to talk about rude “square” words (swear words), and shut up was one of them!
    Sunshine xx

  5. Hi Jane:

    This post brought back memories…my brother and I weren’t allowed to tell each other to “shut up” when we were little. I think my mom learned the “real” S-word from us! I was about 10 the first time I ever heard her say it…


  6. Love this post! Thanks for a humorous insight to a mom’s moment of “Did I get caught?” Whew! Deep breath! Have a great day.

  7. Man, I need to stop cussing like a sailor.

  8. unabridgedgirl

    Hahaha. Oh, Jane, this made me giggle. 🙂 So cute!

  9. This cracked me up. I’ve been through those “S” words, too!

  10. Oh those dreaded S words. Yes, I would say you skated out of that one. LOL

  11. I’m just waiting for the post about your sons using the other “s” word. It will happen, sorry but it will!

  12. As funny as it was then!

  13. I giggled as I remembered those days when the kids were little. I want to pass on to you a blog I think you will like:

  14. I’m pleased to read this. It seems to be some sort of rage these days to laugh when young’ens spit out a curse word. I’m glad to see that sanity prevails in your household.

  15. Too funny! Glad you were able to get your heart back into rhythm.

  16. Laughing over here…and I really needed a laugh. Thanks for sharing.

    Hope you got through the memorial weekend as well as possible. Still sending hugs to you and your family.

  17. Out of the mouths of babes. . . come many gray hairs for moms.

    Out thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

  18. Hope the memorial service gives your family solace and comfort.

    And that all the S-words are kept under proverbial lids for a while.

  19. We had this same thing happen when a friend was over. “Mom, he said the S-H word!”

    The friend was mortified because he knew what the S-H word was and hadn’t said IT.

  20. I echo other readers and hope the memorial service brings some kind of comfort.

    This, on the other hand, is hilarious. Now that my daughter copies everything we say, I am even more vigilant about not swearing. Out loud, that is.

  21. The ‘f’ word…that could be frick, frack, fruck, freak, fricken, fracken, frucken…these are variations my children have tried getting away with.
    This was funny! I know I shouldn’t laugh, but at least I’m not the only mother out there who cringes when I hear it coming.

  22. Great funny post!

    Wishing you and yours strength during this time in your life.

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