How Is Jane Crazy? Oh, Let Me Count The Ways

So, I’ve told you my mom is crazy, right? Well, guess what? I’m crazy, too. (Some of you already knew that – at least after reading yesterday’s post you now know.)

I’m mostly OCD with a little bit of plain ol’ crazy mixed in to keep things interesting.

How am I crazy? Ahhhh…let me count the ways.

10. I check to see if the car doors are, indeed, locked more than is necessary. And I involve my kids in the practice. Ever helpful #1son is often volunteering to run back to the car and check for me. And I let him.

9. Whenever I hear a child cry in a public place I must get up and locate the distressed little soul and make sure that a parent is taking adequate care of the situation. My husband calls this crazy. I call it “It Takes A Village.”

8. I boycotted shopping at Abercrombie and Fitch because of an ad they ran in 1992 that offended me. No one else. Just me. They hit a nerve with something personal I was going through. So I refused to shop there ever again. And I haven’t. Eighteen years later and I held true to my boycott – until last week. When my daughter got a job at one of their stores. Darn this economy and having to take what you can get.

7. I’m obsessive about a clean kitchen or bathroom. You could eat off the floor in either area. But do not, I repeat, DO NOT look under my bed. Or eat anything there. Yuck.

6. Give me a choice between a trip to Hawaii and a trip to Disney World? Disney wins every time. An all expenses paid trip around the world and a trip to Disney World? Sadly, yes. I’d pick Disney. An engraved invitation to a State Dinner at the White House (take that, Salahis!) and a trip to Disney World? Well, maybe I’d go to the State Dinner just to sashay past the Salahis but after dessert can I still go to Disney? (My daughter doesn’t call me Disney Dork for nothin’.)

5. I remember skating around everyone, and I mean literally sliding and skating past everyone in my socks on our hardwood floors, getting ready for a holiday party and thinking how nuts this must look. It felt like my family was moving in slow motion, without a care in the world that we had 100 guests about to show up and the house was still a wreck and food still needed to be put out. I was a raving lunatic. Not a proud moment, but a defining one. I’d like to say I’m no longer crazy in that regard. Dear sweet hubby? Can you please confirm that one for me?

4. I’ve been known to lock the door behind me, take two steps and go back to make sure that the door is truly locked. Doesn’t matter that I heard the click. Doesn’t matter that I pulled the door firmly. Doesn’t even matter that I checked it as soon as I locked it. What is it with me and locked doors?

3. For as long as I’ve entertained guests in my own home, it took me almost 20 years to buy a butter dish. Twenty years. Why? Because this saucer will do and besides, they’re too expensive. (Yes, I actually said too expensive.) I finally bought one. $3.99 at Williams Sonoma Outlet.  Yep. I put the cheap in cheap-skate.

2. It drives my kids crazy that I smile (or so they say) while I’m “yelling” (I don’t yell. I raise my voice) at them. Apparently, my facial expressions do not match the intensity of my words. But according to my daughter, that’s just weird, not necessarily crazy.

And the number one reason I’m crazy…

1.  I admitted to Kitch last week that, while I feel overwhelmed and unable to keep up with my self-imposed 4-posts-a-week assignment, I can’t seem to skip it. No matter how hard I try. Why? Because I like how my little calendar looks (go ahead and peek, it’s over there to the right) with it’s pretty little M, T, T, and F columns all highlighted just so. There’s something in me that can’t disrupt the pattern. Just the thought of a “wrong” day being highlighted (or not) makes me all uncomfortable. I’m not kidding about this.

Now that’s crazy!

(What’s your crazy?)


Filed under Completely Random, Observations

25 responses to “How Is Jane Crazy? Oh, Let Me Count The Ways

  1. Hi Jane:

    I related to #8 because I do the same thing…any business that pisses me off loses me forever as a customer, even if I’ve shopped there forever!

    Here’s my crazy:

  2. Jayne

    I noticed your calendar pattern yesterday and thought how pretty it looked. I think you may be talking to a kindred spirit here! I’m certainly a nutter for checking those windows and doors again and again. 🙂

  3. I always check and double check that my car doors are locked when I am on the INSIDE. I’m not so vigilant when I leave my vehicle. This I might add is because I was subjected to car theft when living in Belgium, two guys on a motorbike, one hops off at the lights, opens your unlocked passenger door and swipes your bag. Common practice in mainland Europe.

    I just have to add that I always set the alarm when I leave the house but realized the other day this is a futile exercise as my daughter has a new habit of unlocking all the doors, so our front door and back door I discovered yesterday have been unlocked all week!

    I am obsessive about a clean house, but especially kitchens and bathrooms. I also have to make the bed every day and I will not get into and sleep in an unmade bed.

  4. Yes, you are a bit OCD, but I think that it’s cute that you smile when you yell.

  5. I’m not OCD about doors, but I am conscious of it. I always make sure the doors are locked before bed.

    And as for boycotting, I did that to Ben & Jerry’s many years ago when I learned that they support the Mumia Abu Jamal defense fund. He ‘s the guy who was twice convicted of murdering a Philadelphia police officer, and sentenced to death. Ben & Jerry’s jumped on the “he was railroaded” bandwagon, and I haven’t bought from them since.

  6. I’ve boycotted Carl’s Jr since they started running those sexy ads all those years ago. I totally wish I was OCD when it came to cleaning. I’m falling behind lately.
    Maybe I should do a crazy post. But that might be scary.

  7. Crazy is good, though, Jane! The locked door thing is something my boyfriend has – I laugh at him continuously for it :P.

    Honestly, though, I think that these little crazy things we all have is part of what makes us human and special (or maybe I just think that because of all my crazy things? Hmm… :P)

  8. patchofheaven

    You’re a mom! It’s good you’re obsessed about locked locks!
    (Just wanted to finally comment after two months of reading your blog. Hi — I love your quirky style! You’re entertaining but thought-provoking, and I love that you’re humorous and sarcastic without actually being mean. And you’re a mom that loves her kids out of this world!)

  9. I’m not a door locker, and never have been. Except when I was alone in the house at night in Southern California. Always locked car doors down there too. So I guess maybe I was a door locker. WAS. Now, just don’t do it unless we’re leaving for more than a few hours.

    As far as boycotting merchants/products? Well, 30 or 40 years ago or maybe more, Ajax ran ads that I viewed as implying women were really stupid – I should believe if I bought their product and opened the lid, this white tornado would clean my house for me? Gosh, looking back I hope there was more to it than that. I still don’t buy Ajax products.

    As far as housework – I need to be a lot more OCD about that. I have learned not to be so cluttery, and my house isn’t dirty. But it doesn’t sparkle either.

  10. Completely OCD. Oh yes. I only hold myself to two days a week posting, the same two days, and lately I was persuaded to put in a post on Blogger Action Day. Which was a Friday, not a Saturday or Wednesday as God intended. It’s the first time I’ve colored outside the lines, and they’re my own lines. I relate to you, but that doesn’t mean we’re sane.

  11. Is there an opposite for OCD? Because I am feeling like a total slob! 🙂 I’d LIKE to be obsessive about cleaning the kitchen. Actually I’d like to hire someone that is obsessive about cleaning the kitchen…

  12. You don’t just put the tub of Shed’s Spread right on the damask table cloth???


  13. What is a butter dish?

    Ok. Just kidding.

    You know how much I love MONK?! 🙂

  14. Most OCD behavior develop from bad experiences? I am OCD about the where-abouts of my keys. Car keys because I used to lock them inside the car often. House keys ever since a woodpecker stole my hidden door key and I accidentally locked myself outside, in the winter, without a coat (at night, no neighbors or cell phone)

    • A woodpecker? I’m sorry – but I’m laughing over here!

      • Laughing is good, I am glad I could provide a small chuckle for the day (or are you laughing so hard you are crying?). It was a scary panic when it happened … however, I can laugh about it now, too. I learned my lesson the hard way … I no longer hide a spare key in the crack of a nearby tree. It makes for a good story, I guess…

  15. Funny, I also boycotted A&F. Still refuse to buy Calvin Klein because of those kiddyporn underwear ads he used to run.

    Buy the missing pieces you need now. If you don’t, they stop making it and one broken cup will end up costing more than the original place setting. Believe me.

  16. I’ve been OCD since a young child – I’m sure I’m quite high on that autistic spectrum really! I seem to have also re-surfaced my partners OCD tendencies too. We both spend an age checking everything before we leave the flat! I’ve also been known to turn round after 30 minutes driving, just to return home to check I’ve turned the iron off!

    We check doors that we know are locked too – several times. And then I still ask my partner a minute later “did we lock that door?” which of course starts him questioning that fact too!!

    Occasionally I have to touch certain objects at certain times – otherwise I’m sure something bad will happen!! See – autistic!

    Things have to be in their place – I’m like Annie Wilkes from Misery – I can spot a penguin out of place in an instance! Scary! Teehee. (I get that from my Mum!)

    I barter every week at the local second hand market – refusing to pay that extra £1 for that item that I love which is 100 years old – yet I’ll go spend £15 straight afterwards without thinking on a round of beers for some friends which is drunk in 15 minutes!

    Sending you hugs from a fellow weirdo 😉

    Houdini x

  17. I have fiesta dishes. I don’t like two matching colors to be together because its easier to unload the dishes and put them on the shelf with alternating colors. I think this make perfect sense. My kid says its crazy. Paintings that are hung to high and not straight make me crazy. A friend once tried to convince me it was a matter of taste. Its not, there is a right way and a wrong way to hang a painting. I stop short of walking around with a hammer and picture hangers in my purse.
    You are not alone. Your blog calendar is lovely.

  18. unabridgedgirl

    Your number 2 made me laugh. Mostly because I can’t imagine you raising your voice, but the idea of you doing with a smile is funny. I’m sorry. Also? I am OCD about making sure my curling iron is turned off. I check it, like, five times before finally leaving it alone.

  19. I am guilty of 4, 8, and 9. I take 9 one step further sometimes and forget that I am not a teacher and I try to reprimand other people’s children. Yeah, they don’t like that so much…

  20. I love Disney too…I’d have a hard time passing it up!

  21. I always check my car doors. And there is good reason to do so. When I was in high school, I went to Target to get a few things. There was a man who parked in the same place as I did, entered and exited the store right behind me, and just as I entered into my car tried to open my passenger door. Luckily it was locked.

    On a lighter note, I am sucker for cleanliness….

    Thanks for this post. I enjoyed reading it.

  22. Pingback: Spam, Spam, Spam. Lovely Spam! Wonderful Spam! « Theycallmejane's Blog

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