Please Stand By Or Jane’s Feeble Explanation For Needing A Break

I know you’ve noticed. You were just too polite to say anything.

Ever since my kids went back to school I’ve looked forward to more time to write, more time to read. It hasn’t happened.

Life has hit Chez Jane’s at full speed ahead. Each month, no make that each week, I’d say, “Ok. This week I’m going to have more time for blogging. I mean it!”

Ah, that road to hell…

Please know I’ve been meaning to visit you. Please know that I miss visiting you. I just haven’t been able to. Personal. Financial. Schedules. Projects. Death. Illness. It’s all the same excuses you’ve heard time and time again. Only this time, you’re hearing them from me.

So, I’m taking a break. Here and in real life, too. (In real life, I’m visiting my most favorite place in the world with my kids. Yipee!)

I might be here to read a little but I’m taking my mandatory two-week break from posting. The Blogging Authorities (in my head) are demanding it. They say I’ll lose that two-week blogging vacation if I don’t use it before the end of the year. There are no roll-over weeks in Blog World, apparently. (And the mere fact that I’m actually listening to the fictitious Blogging Authority voices in my head is a clear indication that I need a break. Clever little highlighted calendar patterns be damned!)

For ten days I’ll be completely computer free. So, don’t take offense if you don’t see me around your neck of the woods. It’s not personal. It’s just me. Needing a break from technology. Needing to focus on fun with my kids.

I will enjoy my break. I will come back, energized and refreshed.

In the meantime, you can look at this…

Or you can have more time to read your other favorite blogs. Have fun! I’ll see you when I return!

Surf’s Up, Dudes. But Jane’s Hangin’ Loose On the Sand.

I’ve ridden the wave. The Liking-George W. Bush-Not-Liking George W. Bush wave.

 The Matt Lauer special that ran last night has me questioning the ride. Each crest and trough was determined by what I was gleaning from the news media. Whether is was Fox News singing his praises or SNL parodies or CNN quick to point out moments that seemed like weaknesses in the poor man.

These little soundbites didn’t paint an accurate picture. And logically, I knew that then and I know that now. Yet I still formed an opinion. Good. Bad. Indifferent. It was all I could go on.

Last night, George W. Bush spoke with the candor one can only use after a president leaves office. After the fact. In hindsight. And it wasn’t all pretty. He acknowledged his failures and weaknesses. He spoke of what he would do differently and what he wouldn’t change.

 

 “You may make mistakes, but you are not a failure until you start blaming someone else.”–Anonymous.

I was impressed with his candor.  His honest reactions to criticism and blame. And he never blamed anyone else for his choices. He never used Dick Cheney or Donald Rumsfeld as scapegoats. He owned each and every action he made as President of the United States.

He spoke with such sincerity of the two sides to every decision he made. With some of his toughest decisions, he laid out the facts he had and the options he considered. Then he explained why he chose option A or option B.

What surprised me the most was my own reaction after the interview had ended.  Logic tells us that humans are fallible. That presidents make mistakes. But we expect our world leaders to be perfect. We want our presidents to be perfect. Listening to President Bush last night I began putting myself in his shoes and wondering what in the world I would do, given the same mind-boggling situations.  I decided that I would have made some of the same mistakes and that maybe some of his mistakes weren’t mistakes after all.

Walk a mile in a man’s shoes. I remind myself of this all the time. Who are we to criticize someone when we don’t have all the facts? Isn’t it impossible to form an opinion when the media chooses what we hear? Who am I to deem President Bush a success or a failure?

President Obama deserves the latitude and consideration that I didn’t afford our last president. Deciding whether I agree or disagree with his policy and choices will be difficult without hearing from him exactly how he came to his decisions. But it’s my responsibility to sift through the, albeit biased, information and come to a compassionate conclusion. I need to remind myself that hindsight is 20/20 and to be careful in my judgements.

Instead of riding the media wave, I need to step back onto the sand and take in the bigger picture.

Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam. Lovely Spam! Wonderful Spam!

It’s that time of year again. When my spam folder is full and crackin’ me up!

“Here at (insert blog title here) we are debating the same thing!” — comment left on “How is Jane Crazy? Oh, Let Me Count the Ways”

Yep. You and about every other Jane fan out there! Now this spam was worth keeping. If only to keep me giggling.

“It is very interesting for me to read that article. Thanks for it. I like such topics and anything connected to this matter. I would like to read a bit more on that blog soon. By the way, pretty nice design your site has, but how about changing it every few months? I mean it!” — comment on the post “Son Drops the “S” Word! Queen Mother of Dirty Words (To a 6 yr. old, That Is)”

Seriously? You find my 6-year-old tattling on his 5-year-old brother interesting? Well, you’re welcome. I’m glad I can entertain. Good luck finding more potty mouth articles on “this matter.” You’d like to “read a bit more on that blog soon?” Which blog? Here? I try to keep my blog pretty clean, thank you very much. And for the record, I like my “pretty nice design” just the way it is. No changes necessary. But thanks for your input.

“You should use a weight loss calculator.” — comment on To Flu Shot or Not To Flu Shot. That Is The Question.

Hey! Be nice!

“Ghost ride that whip!” — comment on Spotting Signs of the Ever Elusive Teenager

Ok. Whaaaaaa?

“Thank you very much my friend, you are very kind in sharing this useful information with others…. the details were such a blessing, thanks.” — comment on Punks Unite! Well, For Today, Anyway.

Anytime. Anything I can do to help my fellow punks out. And “the details were such a blessing?” Seriously? Kid, you need to get out more.

It’s Friday Night Game Night. But It’s Not Night.

It’s Friday and it’s time for a little fun. How about a round of twenty questions?

20. Is it living? – Yes

19. Is it an animal? – No

18. Is it a person? – Yes

17. Is this person famous? – Yes

16. Is this person male? – No

15. Is this person still alive? – Yes

14. Was this person born before 1960? – Yes

13. Is this person famous for television or movies? – Not really.

12. Is this person known for their pretty face? – Yes

11. Is this person married? Not now. But was. Four times.

10. Does this person have children? Yes. Three.

9. Is this person from the United States? – Yes

8. Does this person live on the West Coast? – No

7. Does this person look like she lives on the West Coast? – Yes

6. Does she eat meat? – No

5. Does she eat? – Yes. She still looks healthy and much younger than her chronological age.

4. Is she a role model? – In some respects, yes.

3. Have she ever been nominated Mother of the Year? – Yes

2. Has she ever been in a music video? – Yes

1. Does she look great in a swimsuit? – Apparently, yes. Three consecutive times yes.

Who is she?

(Your turn!)

Dear Lady At Kohl’s

Dear Lady-at-Kohl’s-with-your-19-items-one-of-which-needed-a-price-check,

You can’t say you didn’t see me coming. We made eye contact. Just after I said to my boys, “Come on boys. Let’s get going.”

You see, they’re little boys. And they dawdle. And daydream. But we had to get going. This was an unscheduled stop in our on-the-way-home-from-school routine. #1son’s shoes ripped at the seams during school and needed to be replaced. We came in for a pair of shoes. We ended up with two pairs, one for each boy. They wanted to hold the boxes themselves. Apparently, walking and holding a box was slowing them down.

You had been browsing in the women’s section. When you heard me, our eyes locked. And then you looked at the registers and noticed there was no line. So you shoved your cart out into the aisle and elbowed (yes, elbowed) my son, my seven-year-old son, out of your way. And then you proceeded to race us to the cashier.

You won. With your nineteen items and my two. I glared at you, trying to stare a hole in the back of your head. Wishing evil things. Things I can’t share here because my readers think I am oh-so-kind. But I’m not. Not when an almost elderly woman, with a wedding band, who has surely had children, nearly mows down my child and pushes past me in order to beat us to the line.

So we waited behind you, quite patiently. And then it happened. Item number 12 needed a price check. “I’ll wait,” you said oh-so-sweetly. So we all waited. Me. My boys. And the 4 people now behind us.

Finally, another cashier opened. She said a few times, “I’ll take the next in line.” Which was me. But with 4 more people behind us, I knew someone else would jump ahead of me. But the lady insisted. And so did the lady directly behind me. So we, me and my boys, step out of line and who should appear? Another (insert expletive) jerk who was in more of a hurry than I was, apparently.

The kind, sweet soul who was behind us in the first line graciously called me over to my original spot. She shook her head and commiserated with me. You see, she noticed not only Mr. Jerk, but you, too. I said, “Some days are like this.” “But they shouldn’t be,” was her reply.

You left. Finally. And we paid for our measly two items. And walked out of the store. Me and my dawdling two boys. You were parked right next to me. You were preparing to drive away. But you saw us coming. Protectively, I put out my hands to stop my boys from walking. If your driving was anything like your shopping cart maneuvers, we were in trouble.

But you waved us ahead. I stood firm. You kept waving. Finally, I allowed us to cautiously, so very cautiously, step in front of your car. And safely pass in front of you to our own vehicle.

After all.

It was the least you could do.

(Ok. I feel better now.)

Christmas In November. Well, Actually I Saw Signs In September But I Refused To Notice.

Halloween is two days behind us. We haven’t even come down off our sugar high and there are candy canes and displays in the grocery stores for fruit cakes and Christmas cookie decorations.

It has always amazed me how early Christmas displays pop up. And I know I sound old when I say this, but the signs seems to be popping up earlier and earlier. Back in my day…..

OK. I really don’t remember what it was like back in the day. I was too excited for Halloween and getting tons of candy and then making it last until Christmas. At least. And because my sister would scarf up her candy within the week and I would carefully and deliberately  ration my own stash — Christmas seemed a long way off.

And it is. 53 days away. But I was out shopping today and from the looks of things, I’d say it’s just around the corner. They’re even playing Christmas carols.

What about Thanksgiving? Or Election Day (today), for that matter? What about living in the moment? Or one day at a time? Why are we rushing things?

Zen-zen, people! Breathe.

I have a friend who refuses to decorate for a holiday until she is actually in the month that the holiday falls. I admire her restraint. I think the stores should follow suit.

But then I remember why the stores are getting ready so early. And that reminds me of the Green Day song “Macy’s Day Parade.”

“Give me something that I need
Satisfaction guaranteed
Because I’m thinking about
A brand new hope
The one I’ve never known
Cause now I know
It’s all that I wanted” – And I find these lyrics particularly interesting, today of all days. I don’t know how the elections are going to turn out in your area but I know in mine, people are ticked. They’re tired of the same-old-same-old from politicians on both sides. They’re disillusioned by the great hope our poor president promised two years ago.

I truly feel for the man. What a mess he has to clean up. A mess many people are expecting him to fix – and him alone. This recession, that was supposed to be over in the summer of 2009, seems far from over. Even if we wanted to celebrate with mass materialism, many people just can’t do it.

And I say? That’s a good thing.

We can blame Macy’s and Publix and the evil bankers on Wall Street. But when it comes right down to it, we’re the ones pulling out our credit cards and signing mortgage loans we have no idea how we’re going to honor. I read an article recently (I wish I remember where, but I don’t. Sorry!) that said 50 years ago the majority of Americans didn’t own homes and car loans were unheard of. You paid cash. You rented until you could put down a hefty down payment on a house. The only credit you used was with your local butcher or milkman.

We’re the ones getting sucked into the merchant’s insistence that we start celebrating (by spending, spending, spending on stuff we don’t need) early.

And we’re the ones who can show a little restraint.

Like my friend.

Crack And Meth Are Better For You Than A Hot Toddy. For Reals!

I walked into my husband’s office this morning and he says, “Hey! Good news! Crack and meth are better for you than cigarettes and alcohol!”

Huh?

Apparently, a British study concluded that alcohol is “most harmful overall and almost three times as harmful as cocaine or tobacco.” This includes damage to the user and to society as a whole.

Heroin and crack ranked second and third.

And you want to know the really good news? Ecstasy is all the way down the scale as the eighth most harmful drug. Woo-hoo!

Statistics amuse me. Journalism amuses me. A few facts from a study are presented and we’re lead to assume that if we all quit drinking and smoking, and maybe picked up a “less harmful” drug instead, the world would be a better place.

Twist a few numbers to suit your purpose. Leave out a little information. And voila! A news item is born.

The lead scientist in the study?

Professor Nutt.

Now THAT’S funny!