Help! I’m Buried (Under *#$@!) And I Can’t Get Up!

I have decided that should I ever go away and trust the running of my home to anyone else, other than myself — it’s not worth going.

I mean it.

Never again.

If I should have the opportunity to take a trip and leave everyone else at home again? I’m not going.

Ok.

I’ll go.

But everyone else has to leave the house, too.

I took my daughter on a Girls-Only-Mother-Daughter-Extravaganza. We had a blast. And I realized about 2 hours into the trip that this was the first time in 18 years that I’ve gone on a vacation and not had to pack/plan/take care of anyone else but myself. About 12 hours into the trip, I realized, Hey! I’m going to bed. And I just have to brush MY teeth, wash MY face, put on MY pjs and then hop into bed. (My 18-year-old daughter can do all that for herself now. Joy!)

When I woke up the next morning?

Same.

Thing!

I woke up. Got showered and dressed. Grabbed my things and we were out the door.

Heavenly.

I didn’t have to comb anyone else’s hair. I didn’t have to set out clothes for anyone or find missing shoes or tie anyone else’s shoes. I didn’t have to make sure we had all of “our” stuff. I didn’t have to hear “Hun, did you pack my swim suit?” or “Mom? Why can’t we have a maid at home?” (Uh, ya’ do!) I didn’t have to shush anyone 112 times down hotel hallways.

And then?

I came home.

Poof.

My utopia vanished.

And they tricked me! That’s what really gets to me.

About 4 hours from home, I called from the road. In the background, I heard the vacuum cleaner. “We’re getting ready for you to come home,” my mother-in-law said, “Your husband said he wants you to come home to a clean house. Where do you keep the cleaning rags?”

Awwww. I melted. What a gem of a family I have.

So, for the rest of the drive I had visions of gleaming floors, folded laundry, shining bathrooms.

Nope.

Dust bunnies, or should I say tumbleweeds, the size of my head. I’m not kidding. We have a golden retriever and he chose the week I left to shed at least two coats of fur. We could make another dog. When one tumbleweed wafted by as I opened the door I tried to ignore it.

What about the vacuum cleaner I heard?

“#2son knocked over your plant on your bedside table. I hope I got it all out of the carpet,” says sweet husband who insisted on white carpet in our bedroom because it will be our oasis, away from the kids and they’ll never be in there.

Hampers are overflowing. Escaped socks and damp towels are trying to make a break for laundry room.

“I didn’t know how you liked your laundry done,” says sweet mother-in-law.

Clean, I think to myself.

The bathrooms? I’m too embarrassed to even think of a witty description. I’ve tried. I sat here, mouth agape, trying to be clever. Besides my mother-in-law, there were two grown men and two small boys making their presence known, if you get my drift. Disgusting is all that comes to mind.

I’ve been home a week and I’m just now coming up for air.

Nope. It’s decided. Go on a vacation, by myself, and leave my home in someone else’s hands?

Never.

Again.

(Disclaimer: My mother-in-law is, indeed, a gem. She plays with the boys, she takes them on adventures, she cooks and bakes and keeps the kitchen sparkling. The zones described above were, apparently, out of her jurisdiction.)

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13 Comments

Filed under All In A Day's Work

13 responses to “Help! I’m Buried (Under *#$@!) And I Can’t Get Up!

  1. Don’t you love it when others ‘help’ you?

  2. Oops, forgot to say I love your flowers in the banner.

  3. In defense of your mother-in-law (not that she really needs it), a lot of people ARE very particular about how their laundry is done. And I sympathize, but can’t really empathize because my husband is annoyingly competent when I go away. Of course, I only ever go away long enough for laundry to not be an issue. Once I had the stomach flu for four days and the resulting laundry pile almost qualified us for disaster relief.

  4. Hummmm…I leave later this week for 8 days and only am leaving a driving drop off schedule for the love gals. No meals frozen, no nothing! They have always come through before. I hope that still holds. Yet there is always a little something misssed…. when are you too going away again?

  5. Unabridged Girl

    The same thing happens when my mom leaves. If one of us girls don’t stop by and make sure things are clean? It’ll be like a hurricane went through the house when she gets home.

  6. Glad your back Jane and sounds like you had a wonderful time with your daughter. Laundry is my least fav thing to do so I can certainly sympathize. Hope you catch up with everything soon!

  7. Aw, Jane, I’m so sorry…. Coming back to a not-clean house is one of the most tiring sensations I’ve ever experienced, and it’s only ever happened to me once when someone else was taking care of our cats!

    BUT, I’m glad you’re back, and I do hope that the mommy-daughter trip at least was relaxing enough to invigorate you to deal with all the cleaning etc. without sinking into a deep cleaning-related-sadness….

  8. ck

    Don’t you wish there was a way to start with the messy house and come home to the peaceful experience of days alone with a self-sufficient child? I always think going places with my kids are a good idea, and even clean before we go so I can return to a clean house. But for what? As soon as we enter said sanctuary with our items from the car and trip, it’s like the effort to clean before we left never happened.

    (PS: Welcome back!)

  9. I can relate completely except that I get so much bliss out of the going. Once I sent them all out on a trip and I sat in a perfectly pristine home for a couple of days. It was magic.

  10. Can’t help but laugh. (And I don’t have to tell you what state teens leave a house in, either.)

    But glad you had some time off and enjoyed it!

  11. I have an idea. Send all of them away and YOU enjoy a long, relaxing staycation all alone in the house! We have a Golden and I’ve already brushed the equivalent of two small dogs out of him this week.

  12. Welcome Home. I am glad every one safe and sound and you had fun with your daughter. I having you all to herself was the best part of the trip!

  13. Ha ha, the white carpet got me the most! Welcome back!

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