And This Is Why I Will Never Go On A Cruise

You know how some people are irrationally afraid to fly? No matter how many statistics you throw at them about how safe our airline industry truly is, how statistics show that you’d have to fly every day for 19,000 years before you’d have a fatal crash, they’d still be terrified to fly?

That’s me. Only with cruises.

I can not imagine that being trapped on a huge petri dish, floating in the middle of the ocean, miles from any civilization can be considered relaxing and fun. Tiny cramped quarters, bumping into the same people over and over, with no Starbucks in sight? Not my idea of a good time.

My husband has even dangled a Disney Cruise over my head. In a weak moment, I checked it out. Disney nut that I am, I considered their 3 day cruise. For about 32 seconds. And then I came to my senses.

I’m well aware that my fears are irrational. I’m sure I could find website after website spouting statistics assuring me how safe it is to sail the wide open seas. That Norwalk virus is not just contained on cruise ships. ย That I won’t be robbed, bored or stuck eating with strangers. It will fall on deaf ears.

Every cruise disaster, I read or watch unfold with wide eyes and my stomach doing flip flops. Like a train wreck, I can’t look away. And my fears are satisfied.

Do you know what song was playing at one of the ship’s restaurants when the Costa Concordia’s hull split open?

Celine Dion’s “My Heart Will Go On” from the 1997 blockbuster movie “Titanic.”

I’m not kidding. Look it up.ย 

And this is why I will never go on a cruise.



Filed under Observations

25 responses to “And This Is Why I Will Never Go On A Cruise

  1. Black Sheep

    And do you know what cd I am ripping to my computer as.we.speak.? oh yes I bought “Back to Titanic” the other day…
    Not gonna get me on no stinking boat either.. no way no how.

  2. This is pretty funny. I absolutely love cruises. For me, they are wonderful and relaxing. Everything is included, you are out at sea which means no cell phone or Internet, and you get to travel in a way that is entertaining and fun. I guess to each his (or her) own, and if it scares you, than I understand. But, I still think you would be very pleasantly surprised if you went on one.

  3. I won’t go on one either! I’m more afraid of some hideous germ spreading through the ship than a wreck. Ewww.

  4. I’ve never been on a cruise, but I’ve always wanted to, despite my severe seasickness I get on smaller boats. Thank you for opening my eyes.

    But seriously, my MIL is trying to give us a free cruise just so she can get some alone time with her grandson. It’s twisted and weird. And I’m not biting. We moved across the country to get away from her and her controlling manipulations. How dumb does she think we are???!!! Anywho, thanks for the ammo I dearly need to get THIS monkey off my back. I owe you one.

  5. jonesingafter40

    I don’t think your fears are irrational at all. You never hear good cruise stories on the news. Always viruses, electrical problems and the occasional and terrifying “man overboard”. And this week…an entire ship goes down because one of the shipmates wanted to “wave” at someone. I so hope that’s not true. But I think it probably is. Where is Captain Stubing when you need him? ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. Yeah, I don’t dream of cruises either. I’d prefer a trip to a tropical paradise. Heaven. Unless it is a one-day cruise that tours the ocean and surrounding areas (like I took my then-boyfriend on in Alaska). Those are amazing and very educational. But an extended cruise? In the ocean? Not only am a claustrophobic but am terrified of water. Like TERRIFIED. And oceans? Where your feet can’t touch the bottom? That’s like putting me in a closet and leaving me for 10 minutes. I start hyperventilating. No thank you. I am okay with watching waves and walking in the sand and that’s where I stay.

  7. I hadn’t heard about the song. How ironic.

  8. I understand where you are coming from. And, as history has proved time and time again, when the chips are down, you are completely on your own. It’s every man, woman and child for himself. If you bank on anything else you’re on a path to disappointment. My motto: Expect the worst and you’ll never be disappointed. Any else is just a bonus.

    I’ve never been on a cruise. I’m not a one-percenter. The closest I ever came was riding the ferry through the islands from Washington into Canada. While the commuters did their bored routine, I clung to the rail stating at the world in wonder.

    I won’t hesitate to go on a cruise, though, if I ever get the chance. I’m going to pack just a single piece of luggage and keep it with me at all times. A fully equipped wet suit with beacon. The odds of being killed in the initial collision are exceedingly low. Then I’ll just put on my wet suit, jump in the water, and float my way into the history books. Come to think of it, it better come with a built-in camera, too. I’ll sell the footage to pay for the trip.

  9. I’m with you! And I ditto shoutabyss’ suggestion of a single piece of luggage fastened to your person at all times, it’s what I do when I have to fly over the sea – keep my ID on me and my boots on, it’ll make it all better somehow. I think that I’m phobic about both drowning and losing things. That photo doesn’t look good from either of those perspectives. ๐Ÿ™‚

  10. Not at all afraid of the germs but I do get very sea sick and even tho I have been assured many many time that nobody get’s sea sick on a big ship..I am not buying it….plus I am not a big eater and I don’t drink much so without Joe I would really not get my monies worth. I will admit when we went to Alaska a cruise would have probably been the better way to go. We would have seen more for less money but we didn’t and we stil had a fine time. I did not see the movie the Titanic but I use to love Love Boat. ๐Ÿ™‚

  11. My late M-I-L loved cruising so much that at least once a year she took the QEII from NY to England. She would stay overnight in South Hampton and then board for the return trip to NY. She didn’t want to see anything but loved to be waited on, enjoy the fine dining, and dress up every evening. I’m with you. I always thought of being on a cruise ship as being locked up in a fancy hotel with a bunch of people most of whom irritate you and some of whom might give you an awful GI virus.

  12. Jim

    Turbulent flights, storms at sea on a “Disney Cruise” have left me anxiety ridden when it comes to travel!

    I’m happy driving my car from now on when I need to go somewhere!

  13. I have gone on short cruises, San Diego to Ensenada and back, that type of thing. We took the ferry from Vancouver (our GPS kept telling us to “find the nearest road” as we drove on) to Victoria Island, but I have never gone on a real cruise, and I have no desire to. Flying is a pain in the neck anymore, but it’s okay. I love water, but I don’t love formal dinners or being confined without much new to see or without internet. Nah, I’ll stay on land and watch Titanic – or not.

  14. I’m not scared of them, Jane, but I won’t go. I find cruises creepy. Not sure why. Obsequious service to distract you from the fact that THERE’S NO WAY OFF might be it. Or the waste of time. Or the industry’s way of pushing slums off to one side and creating billion dollar mirages right next door. Or something.

    • “…to distract you from the fact that THEREโ€™S NO WAY OFF…”

      I never thought of that! Thanks for adding to my arsenal of reason. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  15. I have a friend who is the same way. She worries what will happen if the ship goes down while her kids are off at their kids camp. I figure we’ll be ok as soon as everybody knows how to swim in the family.

  16. We went on a cruise for our honeymoon. While we enjoyed it, we both agreed that we could put a check in that box. Last year, my momma said she wanted her WHOLE family to go on one. How can you say no to your momma? After much planning, the whole fam damily was aboard. Even though I wasn’t sure about another sea voyage, I think I enjoyed it the most. The whole being waited on hand and foot thing was pretty sweet! It felt safe and most of all just relaxing. I don’t like flying…we all have our fears. You don’t like boats…no worries. Just find your happy place!

  17. I’m going on a 7-day cruise in March. I prefer not to think about this. ๐Ÿ™‚

  18. Have not been on a cruise, never really wanted to. For sure don’t want to after this latest incident. Can be waited on hand and foot on land…if that was the goal.

  19. THIS is exactly why my husband won’t go on a cruise! Hasn’t been willing for decades!

  20. I’ve never been on a cruise. The idea of being surrounded by all that water really frightens me. And I think I would go stir crazy being in one place for so long…

  21. Krstine

    I’ve never even wanted to go on a cruise — not even a little appealing to me. I prefer land. My parents cruised a few times a year and always begged my husband and I to “give it a try – you will love it!”. Three years ago, my parents were on a cruise and my mother had a massive brain hemorrhage “out at sea” where not even a helicopter could get to them. Three days later they were able to dock and she was transported to the hosptial where she died five days later. If she received medical attention when it happened would she be alive? I don’t know. You sure don’t hear those stories, though, do you? Wonder how many other people died because they didn’t receive proper medical attention. Nope, no cruises for me.

  22. Laura

    I’ll never go on a cruise again.. First it’s so Rocky that I still feel sick a week later that I can’t eat and feel so dizzy, the people on the cruise are from thrid world countries( who knows what these people are up too) and they don’t hire allot of Americans, and you don’t get any money back for not stopping at a port of someone gets sick or if the port you stop at cant take you… Never again I rather go somewhere for a week and have a wonder vacation, not a booze cruise…

  23. Sssk


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