Monthly Archives: December 2013

Uh-Oh. Jane’s On Her Soapbox. Again.

We are a reactionary society.

And we have a very short attention span.

And we love ice cream. But I digress.

I have a love/hate relationship with the media. It’s where I get all my news. So, I am both dependent on media and love it for providing me with my news fix. It’s also where I get all my news. So, I am both dependent on media and hate it for distorting the facts.

But media is so sassy. Media says, “We only print what you want to read. If you don’t like it, don’t buy it.”

Someone ought to put Media in a time out.

Sassy thing.

First it was Paula Deen and now it’s Duck Dynasty Phil.

Now, please, don’t get me wrong. Racism is wrong. Homophobia is just plain stupid. But the last time I checked, we still have free speech in this country. If celebrities have bone-headed opinions, let ’em have ’em. They can say what they want. And then we, in turn, can stop buying their product if what they’ve said bothers us so much.

What annoys me to heaven and back is the way Media jumps on one phrase, taken out of context, and twists it into something that could be taken offensively. And then, gives us a huge teaser headline, tells 1/3 of the story and says, “the end.”

I’m left saying, “Whaaaaat?”

And so I research. And  I read 4 other articles about the same topic, only to discover that what Paula Deen allegedly did was years and years ago and what Duck Dynasty Phil said referred to his far-right, religious faith. Really? Was anyone truly surprised that he doesn’t feel homosexuals should marry?

Yes. Celebrities should be role models. But we can’t count on that. Just ask Charles Barkley.

And the media should tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Period. Give us the facts. All of the facts and let us decide if we agree, disagree or can agree to disagree.

It’s that simple.

(Yes, I was cryptic when discussing what Duck Dynasty Phil said. I find his comments irrelevant and ridiculous. But if you’re so inclined, you can educate yourself here and here and here.)

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Filed under Soapbox

Quick! Someone Alert Shel Silverstein!

I found it!

unnamed

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Filed under Because It Amuses

Elf On The Shelf. Or The Lamp Shade. Or Wherever Else You Put Your Stupid Elf.

(This is a repeat performance post. But it still applies. Because I still hate that stupid elf.)

I have a friend. A dear friend who has an Elf On The Shelf. And an addiction to Facebook. During this time of year, I find that combination to be deadly.

To my ego.

Every other day she has a post of the clever places they find their Elf every morning. Along with clever little tag lines.

Example #1 – Hiding in a lamp, with just his little hat peeking out. “Should we tell him his hat is giving him away? Or just leave him in the dark?”

Example #2 – In a large empty jar with lid tightly closed. “Oops. Looks like Elf has found himself in a pickle.”

Example #3 – Hiding deep inside the Christmas tree. “Can’t see the Elf for the tree.”

I could go on. But I won’t. It depresses me too much.

Quite honestly, I had never heard of Elf On The Shelf until we moved to this subdivision. My rudimentary research discovers that his concept is old. But his commercial phenomenon is recent. Apparently, the Elf is a spy for Santa Claus. He sneaks away every night once the family is tucked in, files his report with Santa and then returns by daylight, always in a new spot and typically up to some mischief of his own.

Oh. Yeah. Like I need one more Christmas chore to add to my list.

So, like any sane mother, I reject this holiday hobgoblin. My days are chock full of cookie baking, present wrapping, mantel dressing and shopping, cooking and a little more shopping. Who has time for 25 days of elfin mischief to create?

A lot of moms, apparently.

So many, that now, my children have been exposed to the little guy. And they want to know how Santa knows if they’re naughty or nice.

Santa peeks in on you himself. You boys are two of his favorites.

Cue eye rolls and exasperated sighs.

“Mom. Really? Because Nick’s Elf left him candy canes. Santa doesn’t leave us candy canes after he checks up on us.”

He saves that for Christmas Day. He knows about your last dentist appointment.

“If the leprechauns can visit us how come we don’t have an elf visit?”

I repeat the “Santa’s favorite” response. To no avail.

“Well, Sydney’s Elf bakes her cupcakes and cleans up her room.”

Hey! I bake you cupcakes and clean up your room.

“It’s not the same, Mom!”

Nope.

It’s not.

Stupid Elf.

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Filed under Holiday

Awwww, Google! You Remembered!

I clicked on Google to google something, of course. I’m an old Googler from way back. One of my favorite pastimes. My kids say my epitaph is going to read, “Let’s Google it!”

But I digress….

So, I click on Google and what do I see?

This….

Image

So cute! Cakes and cupcakes. Sparklers and candles. I just adore the Google pictures each day. It’s my second favorite pastime, besides actual Googling, of course. I hover over the picture and discover something new and an hour is lost learning about C. V. Raman or Maria Callas or the invention of soap. (Here I go. Digressing again. Must be my age. Wink, wink.)

Today, I see the cakes and the candle and wonder, “Who else shares my birthday today?”

I hover the mouse over the picture and low and behold it says:

Happy Birthday, Jane!

My heart skips a beat. Google remembered!

I’m so touched. And honored. And awestruck.

And then, I realize (fairly quickly, because I’m not that egocentric) that the image will only be seen by me.

But that’s okay.

Google remembered my birthday.

That’s enough for me.

5 Comments

Filed under Holiday, Uncategorized