Category Archives: Completely Random

A Very Merry Un-Birthday To YOU! And You! And You!

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You Mean There’s Never Going To Be A Doughnut Diet? Rats. Life Isn’t Worth Living.

Earlier in the week there was breaking news in the diet department.

Apparently there are “10 Despicable Doughnuts!” and an article urging you to “think twice before grabbing one of these fatty sugar bombs.”

I enjoy a doughnut from time to time.  I imbibe every third month or so. And I have fond memories of my more regular doughnut eating days. Weekends when my dad would bring home a dozen from Dunkin’ Donuts or after church, sneaking doughnut holes off the buffet at the meet ‘n greet in the church hall.

Curious as a cat, I clicked the link. Evil doughnuts? Were there any angelic ones? If there are 10 despicable ones then maybe they list the virtuous ones.

Are you curious? Do you want to know who graces the evil top 10?

Starbucks Old Fashioned Glazed Doughnut. Entenmann’s Devil’s Food. Little Debbie Mini Frosted. Dunkin’ Donut’s Chocolate Coconut Glazed. Krispy Kreme’s Vanilla Iced Creme.

Oh. No.

Aren’t these your run of the mill, fun, treat-type doughnuts?

And they’re ALL bad for me?

The article goes on to state “don’t be fooled” by the addition of blueberries to Dunkin’ Donut’s Blueberry Crumb Donut. (I wasn’t.) And here’s the big shocker (not): doughnuts are loaded with calories mainly from sugar and fat.

Horrors!

Who knew?

Uhhmmmm….practically everyone.

Am I right?

Raise your hand if you thought doughnuts were health food.

Hmmm. No one. Well, that’s a sigh of relief.

Is there anyone out there stupid enough to think that a doughnut is the breakfast of champions? That it shouldn’t be a once in a while treat? That maybe, just maybe, they might be packed with empty calories?

(Shaking my head in disbelief at what passes for breaking news these days. It must be a slow news day.

And I suppose, that’s a good thing.

Now go on and have a great, newsworthy day!  Oh, and have a doughnut! I know I will. Because after reading that article, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about them.)

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Filed under Because I'm Curious, Completely Random, Edibles

Adding To My Netflix Queue While Watching The Oscars. Hey. That’s How Mothers Roll.

I have (at this moment, a little over an one hour into the Academy Awards) exactly 140 movies in my Netflix queue. One hundred and forty. If each movie is approximately 2 hours long, that’s 280 hours of popcorn munching and Coca-Cola sipping. If I take breaks to sleep, shower, potty, and prepare a quick meal, it would take me about a month to watch every single movie on my list.

I do love movies. I used to watch the Academy Awards and it was rare if I hadn’t seen all the movies nominated for Best Picture. Now, post kids, it’s rare if I’ve seen any of the pictures nominated. I have to TiVo them or put them on my Netflix list. Hence, the length of my list – which is now at 142, almost two hours into the Oscars. Yes. I am watching the Oscars, with my laptop on my lap and three tabs open: Netlix queue, WordPress and Pinterest. I’m the queen of multi-tasking.

I look forward to this night. A chance to see the stars in a different light. A chance to find out what I’ve missed in the entertainment world over the past year. Be it a song to add to my ipod or a movie to add to my Netflix queue.

But taking a look at my list, I’m having a hard time paring it down. So many items are documentaries or foreign films that will never make it to television. Waiting For Superman. Blame It On Fidel. Paperclips. Sarah’s Key. Or television that I have missed. Dexter, my favorite serial killer. Or the Mad Men series that I’d love to catch up on from the beginning.

I have a love/hate relationship with these award shows. Love the glamour, the pomp and circumstance. The gowns. (Didn’t you just love Penelope Cruz’s dress?) The heartfelt thanks and genuine surprise and awe. Hate the political (though rare) rants thinly disguised as acceptance speeches. You are actors. Who act. Your opinion on world affairs has nothing to do with  your craft or my enjoyment of your talents. So, please. Zip it.

And now, my queue has grown by two more. I’m at 144. Netflix is getting a workout tonight as they mention movies I was never able to see in the theaters. Either because my role as mother is more important than my role as armchair critic. Or because some of the most critically acclaimed movies don’t make it to my backward neck of the woods.  I depend on the Academy Awards to make my Netflix suggestions.

But I’m having a hard time keeping my eyes open. Per usual. I am a mother now. Gone are the days of Oscar parties and ballots, Twizzlers and popcorn. I have lunches to prepare, another load of laundry to push into the dryer, book bags and shoes and jackets to place by the door.

Yawn.

I. Can’t. Make. It.

Must. Go. To. Sleep.

Let me know who wins Best Picture. That is, if you are able to stay up.

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My Love/Hate Relationship With Giada DeLaurentiis

My mother hated cooking. She appreciated fresh, seasonal foods. She eschewed pre-packaged fair. But having to take the time to put together a meal? Not her favorite pastime.

And young, budding feminist that I was? I thought I hated cooking, too.

But I loved food. I loved a fine meal at a restaurant. I went to Paris in my twenties and like Julia Child, I fell in love with the fresh, yummy, out of this world produce, fresh cheese, steaming baguettes,  perfectly cooked beef, aromatic chicken. I’d go on, but I’m trying to stick to my New Year’s resolution.

It wasn’t until my late thirties that I actually started trying to recreate the wonderful food I’ve eaten abroad or at fine restaurants. My best teachers should have been my grandmothers. But when they were alive I’d sit in the kitchen keeping them company while they cooked but didn’t really pay much attention to what they were doing. I was above domestic pursuits.

Now they’re gone. And I needed teachers for my new found interest in creating fine cuisine. So I turned to television. The Food Network. The Cooking Channel. Ina Garten. Ellie Krieger. Nigella Lawson. Even Paula Deen. (in moderation, of course)

And Giada DeLaurentiis.

I love Italian and Mediterranean cuisine. Love it. From the first time I watched one of Giada’s shows, I was drawn in. And when I’d try her recipes and they came off without a hitch? I was hooked.

Slowly, she’d start to annoy me. Shaking her hair over the food. Every tightly fitted top showcasing her perfect, perky breasts. Clever camera work sneaking shots her of cleavage. And the way she pronounced: mozzarella and parmigiano reggiano.

Oh sure, she was born in Italy. But she moved to the states when she was 7. And every other word out of her mouth is as American as can be.

It annoys me. And I have no idea why.

Try saying “And then you top it with some fresh mooootsarayla and a little bit of basil” with a straight face. It just sounds weird.

I love her recipes. I love the tips and tricks I learn from her. I hate her hair shaking-cleavage showing-Italian accent for certain words-television persona.

I confess. I both love and hate Giada.

(Please excuse me while I duck for cover. I think hear the chef-haters police at the door.)

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Filed under Completely Random, Observations

Beware The Hungry Bull Frog

Just a little Youtube humor for your hump day! Happy Wednesday!

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Jane Jonesing Jeans. Suffers Sticker Shock.

I enjoy a good episode of Extreme Couponing to get my saving juices flowing. I’ve read a Dave Ramsey book, watched Suze Orman a few times and listen to Clark Howard’s advice regularly.

I enjoy a good sale but I don’t plan my week around them. I clip a few coupons, as long as we already enjoy the product. I have a list of when “Kids Eat Free”at local restaurants on my phone so if we’re out and about we can take advantage.

I think of myself as your run-of-the-mill bargain hunter.

I hate clothes shopping so it’s a good thing I prefer classic styles that take a while to become outdated. For example, the jeans I’m wearing at this very minute are almost 10 years old. Ralph Lauren. Talbots. L. L. Bean. Gap. Just a few of my favorites. Since the fashion police aren’t knocking on my door and my 19-year-old daughter hasn’t said anything (yet) it’s probably safe to assume that I look OK.

I’m also a very patient person. With a fairly organized closet. It doesn’t bother me in the least to wait until the end of the season, buy clothes at least 50% off and store in my closet until next season. Which is what I do. Often.

So often, in fact, that I can’t believe anyone actually buys clothes at full price. And the full price usually shocks me.

Like this article, seen on Yahoo, about the best jeans to flatter different body types. Great tips. Before and after pics I can relate to.  But the prices? Are you kidding me?

NYDJ (Not Your Daughter’s Jeans) $120

Earnest Sewn Classic Boot Cut $198

White House Black Market $78

Even the Gap $70 and Lee Jeans $54 surprised me.

I buy Gap and Lee jeans. I’ve never paid more than $40.

I’m in shock. I had no idea this was the going rate. After seeing the flattering styles and great before and after pics I actually started considering updating my wardrobe.

After seeing the prices?

No way.

Besides.

There’s no need.

My readers just see me from the waist up.

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Filed under Completely Random, How We Roll

It’s 2012. Where Are The Flying Jet Packs?

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Filed under Because I'm Curious, Completely Random

Who Needs New Year’s Resolutions? I Work Out! (I’m Sexy And I Know It.)

A radio station I listen to had a Facebook question posted. What are the worst and best songs of 2011?

I was stunned to see one of my favorite songs of 2011 posted in the worst category not once, not twice but several times.

LMFAO’s Sexy And I Know It

And it never appeared in the best category. Not once.

There’s no accounting for taste.

On my part, I guess. But I think the song is a scream. My daughter played it for me in the car and I almost had to pull over I was laughing so hard. And then….the video?

Oh.

My.

God. (I work out!)

Hilarious.

Just what I need as I wave goodbye to 2011 and hello to 2012.

My New Year’s resolution is to approach life with a little more humor. And this video is going to get me started. Even if it did come from the not so stellar year (for me, anyway) of 2011.

Enjoy! (But not with impressionable children around. The visuals may be a bit too much for them. But for you? Best viewed on a full screen. And I dare you. Just try not to laugh.)

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Filed under Completely Random, Music

Jane’s True Confessions Or Secrets That Aren’t Secrets Anymore

1. I have pre-dated posts  in order to create certain patterns on my homepage calendar that highlights post dates. (For any fellow OCD bloggers out there, this sentence makes perfect sense.)

2. I let the television babysit my children from time to time. Ok. More often than I’d like to admit. (Wait. I just admitted it, didn’t I?)

3. Yep. I’m that lazy mom that forgot to send in the two dozen baked goods, individually wrapped, for the Fall Festival this year. And not for just one kid. For two. Yep. That’s me. Oh. And I didn’t sign up to volunteer for the booths, either. (What is wrong with me?)

4. Oh, yeah. And I’m also the mom that forgot to send $1 with my kids to school for Hat Day raising money for Breast Cancer Awareness and Research. (Boy, I suck.)

5. I throw together a bunch of pre-prepared stuff (canned soup, frozen vegetables, grilled chicken in shrink-wrap packages) and pass it off as homemade to my husband and call it one of my creations. (God, I hope he doesn’t read this!)

6. I have regrets. I wish I didn’t. But I do. And I can’t seem to shake them off. Like #7….

7. I really messed up. I wish I could do it all over again, but I can’t. I’m so sorry I xxxxxxxxx. I didn’t mean to xxxxxxx. But I did. And for that, I’m truly sorry. (I’m so glad I got that off my chest.)

8.  My teen thinks that I don’t know things that I do. She forgets that I was a college freshman once, too. Yep. I know what is going on in your dorm room, on the weekends, in and out of class. I know. And I’m not saying one thing. Nope. Nada. Nothin’. My lips are sealed. I can play dumb like the best of ’em.

9. I hide my favorite ice cream (Ben & Jerry’s) on the second to last shelf of the freezer. Hidden under bags of vegetables.

10. I love all the faithful, amazing, wonderful readers I have out there who read me more than I read them. I haven’t been much of a reader lately. My life has been a bit topsy-turvy. But I love you all, just the same.

Ok.

That wasn’t much of a confession.

But I had to say it.

I do.

Love you all.

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Filed under Completely Random, Deep Thoughts

Facebook Status Updates I Wish I Had The Guts To Post

  1. I’m just a lazy @$$, sitting on my couch eating Cheetos and watching TV while the rest of you are running marathons and getting your best time. Ever!
  2. You have your health, a job, your kids aren’t doing drugs and your husband is faithful. Quit your whining!
  3. What a busy weekend! There isn’t enough room to list all the parties I was invited to and you weren’t!
  4. I honestly don’t care about what computer game you are playing or what your top score is.
  5. If you just posted that you’re at the local pub, the newest gourmet cafe or snazzy boutique and you didn’t ask me to come along? Please. Just stop typing.
  6. I’m in the grocery line. The woman in front of me is paying with coupons and exact change. I forgot laundry soap. I don’t want to get out of line. Still waiting for the lady in front of me. Boy, I’m so hungry. Oh yay! It’s my turn. Great. There’s a price check. So, I’m still waiting. Is this boring for you? Yep. Me, too.
  7. You’re having a fight with your boyfriend. Fine. I get it. It happens to all of us. But if you’re not going to tell HIM how you feel, please don’t tell all of us.
  8. Just a little unsolisited advise. Their is no spellchek or grammer chek on Facebook. Proof you’re posts.
  9. Boundaries people! I don’t want to hear about your day 0n the toilet.
  10. OMG. If you have time to post your time at the 1/2 way mark of your marathon maybe you should put the phone down and try to beat the course record. You might have more to brag about at the end of your race. Just sayin’.

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