Revenge Of The 14-Year-Old Burrito

True story.

Dear Husband: “Honey, I don’t feel so good.”

Jane: “What do you think it is? Do you think you’re coming down with #1son’s cold?”

Dear Husband: “No, I think it might be the burrito I had on my way to work this morning.”

(Check out the Sell By date)

(Now, note today’s date.)

Jane: “Hmmmm, ya think?”

You Mean There’s Never Going To Be A Doughnut Diet? Rats. Life Isn’t Worth Living.

Earlier in the week there was breaking news in the diet department.

Apparently there are “10 Despicable Doughnuts!” and an article urging you to “think twice before grabbing one of these fatty sugar bombs.”

I enjoy a doughnut from time to time.  I imbibe every third month or so. And I have fond memories of my more regular doughnut eating days. Weekends when my dad would bring home a dozen from Dunkin’ Donuts or after church, sneaking doughnut holes off the buffet at the meet ‘n greet in the church hall.

Curious as a cat, I clicked the link. Evil doughnuts? Were there any angelic ones? If there are 10 despicable ones then maybe they list the virtuous ones.

Are you curious? Do you want to know who graces the evil top 10?

Starbucks Old Fashioned Glazed Doughnut. Entenmann’s Devil’s Food. Little Debbie Mini Frosted. Dunkin’ Donut’s Chocolate Coconut Glazed. Krispy Kreme’s Vanilla Iced Creme.

Oh. No.

Aren’t these your run of the mill, fun, treat-type doughnuts?

And they’re ALL bad for me?

The article goes on to state “don’t be fooled” by the addition of blueberries to Dunkin’ Donut’s Blueberry Crumb Donut. (I wasn’t.) And here’s the big shocker (not): doughnuts are loaded with calories mainly from sugar and fat.

Horrors!

Who knew?

Uhhmmmm….practically everyone.

Am I right?

Raise your hand if you thought doughnuts were health food.

Hmmm. No one. Well, that’s a sigh of relief.

Is there anyone out there stupid enough to think that a doughnut is the breakfast of champions? That it shouldn’t be a once in a while treat? That maybe, just maybe, they might be packed with empty calories?

(Shaking my head in disbelief at what passes for breaking news these days. It must be a slow news day.

And I suppose, that’s a good thing.

Now go on and have a great, newsworthy day!  Oh, and have a doughnut! I know I will. Because after reading that article, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about them.)

Shoppin’ The Refrigerator

My husband loves leftovers for lunch.  And he’s a saint for eating them up for all of us. Unless, of course, he forgets it on the counter. All day. Until it grows its own goatee complete with gray hair. Typically, because he is so good at eating them up, there are few leftovers. More often than not, I have to use a sharpie to mark MY lunch for the next day – because there are just some things that are better as leftovers like meatloaf, chili and scalloped potatoes.  

Last night, I went to make dinner and the refrigerator was full. To the gills. With what? You guessed it. Leftovers. I don’t mind leftovers but I like to cook. New things. But I hadn’t been shopping for days and the refrigerator looked full. So I scratched the menu for the evening and called the kids to the refrigerator. I handed each one a plate and told them they were shoppin’ the refrigerator. Huh? the confused little guys asked. Shopping? Our refrigerator? For dinner?

With meal tickets in hand (one meat, one starch, one vegetable and one freebie) they picked and choose to their hearts delight. There was so much excitement they couldn’t decide.   I had to pull all the available choices out for fear that the milk would spoil while they stood there gazing longingly at the titillating selection.  #1 son chose spanish rice, beef tenderloin, green beans and sausage. #2 son chose beef tenderloin, sausage, macaroni and asparagus. (Can you tell my boys are meat eaters?) #1 daughter (with her spanking new drivers license) was out “running errands” and conveniently went the fast food route as soon as she heard the menu.

And after every plate was heated up all I heard was munching. Crunching. A little slurping. Thank goodness, no burping. And then, “Mom? Can I have more (fill in the blank)?”  There were no complaints. No bargaining. No questions about what was for dessert so they could decide how hungry they really were. They finished their plates (and they were heaping because I was trying to clear out the refrigerator) without complaint.

Pinch me. I must be dreaming.

These are the very things we’ve eaten over the course of the past 3 days. And at each of those meals I have heard, “How many more green beans do I have to eat?” “Do I HAVE to eat the asparagus?” “You gave me too much rice.” “This meat is too chewy.”

But last night, because THEY got to choose, they couldn’t get enough. I think I might be on to something.

Then my husband came home. “What’s for dinner?” he asked brightly. Leftovers. “Oh.” His face fell. I guess he really does just like leftovers for lunch.

Well, 2 out of 3 happy eaters ain’t bad.

Look Ma! Chocolate Cookies Are Healthy!

I love the psychology behind advertising. When I see an especially ridiculous ad on TV I’ll say to my husband, “Can you just imagine? A bunch of suits and shiny pumps, sitting around a huge oak table and they all thought THIS was a good idea?”

My husband loves it when an advertisement claims something is all natural. “So is arsenic,” he’ll mutter.

After spending an extra-ordinary amount of time on the computer this morning (darn you entertaining blog women out there!) I felt guilty about not spending enough face time with my boys. I suggested we make cookies! You can guess the response. So into the kitchen we go, discussing what kind of cookies we should make. Luckily, I have a chocoholic son and he suggested chocolate cookies with peanut butter chips. Perfect. I pull out all of the ingredients and lo and behold on the Hershey’s Cocoa Powder can is a cute little stamp of approval. “Natural Source of Flavanol Antioxidants” And on the back of the container is an informative little paragraph encouraging me to “enjoy in moderation as part of a healthy diet and active lifestyle.”

 

Who knew? Chocolate cookies are healthy! We measure. We pour. We stir. We scoop. We lick the bowl. We bake. We eat. Mmmmmmmm….and healthy, too!