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I Need A Pinterest Intervention. STAT.

Hi.

I’m Jane.

And I’m a Pinterest addict.

They say, recognizing your addiction is the first step. So, I suppose I’m on my way to recovering. But what if I don’t want to recover? What if I like this Pinterest mania that I’m drowning in?

Pinterest is my latest obsession. Kind of like the way blogging was in the beginning. My daughter tried to get me interested in Pinterest about 8 months ago. But I was like, what’s the big deal? Ooooo. Pretty pictures. I don’t need pictures of things I like or things I want to remember. Bookmarking pages is fine for me. And I have a full and active imagination. The pictures I need are stored in my head.

But one lazy afternoon I was bored. And had a bit of writer’s block. I decided to check Pinterest out, hoping for a little inspiration.

A new obsession was born. I was hit, square between the eyes, with a full-blown Pinterest addiction.

Pretty pictures? It’s more than just pretty pictures. There are links to the pretty pictures. To other pretty blogs. To items I must have in my home or closet. Recipes. Yummy, mouthwatering, drool-worthy recipes. Cute hair styles. DIY crafts and projects that I’m all thumbs to be able to do but I pin them anyway, hoping I will one day confront my crafty fears. There are pithy quotes. Dreamy photos of exotic, far-away places. Clothes that beg to jump into my closet. Images of adorable puppies, kittens and kissable babies.

Funny pics. Silly pics. Pics that bring a tear.

Pretty pics. Goofy pics. Pics I think are weird.

But I pin them. All of them. In my cleverly titled categories. And I search for more and more and more. Filling my boards with projects and recipes and shopping vows that no one in their right mind would have enough time or money to fulfill.

“This Pinterest is a major time suck,” I lament to my daughter.

She just smiles.

And as if I already don’t have enough time to read all of your wonderful blogs and the blogs you recommend, I’m finding more and more and (oh-my-God!) more blogs to follow. It’s like I’m Dorothy and I’m not in Kansas (my little Blogland) anymore. There’s a huge, massive, enormous Blog World out there that I didn’t even know existed. My Blogland is a mere tiny little unincorporated village compared to what is really out there.

Yes.

I am a Pinterest addict.

I need help.

I need an intervention.

STAT.

 

9 Comments

Filed under Blogging, How We Roll

Jane Cures Head Lice And Other Blogging Mysteries Solved

Apparently, I’ve cured head lice.

Single handedly.

On November 2nd I wrote about head lice here. And then, mysteriously, on November 19th, 17 days later, my blog stats took a gigantic leap and readership soared. Through the roof. So, I wrote about it here.

I’ve been riding that gravy train of popularity ever since. That is, until today. As suddenly as my readership soared, it plummeted.

Crashed.

Deep nose dive.

Everyone must have taken my advice, cured their head lice problem with simple tea tree oil solutions, thus wiping out head lice across the globe.

And I’m lonely.

Don’t get me wrong. I knew my popularity was fake. But that doesn’t stop a girl from pretending there are lots and lots of people out there reading her stuff, educating themselves and coming back for more.

But now, my stats are back where they used to be. And I want to know.

Was it something I said?

WordPress has this handy little year end feature where they put together stats on your blog. There was a little button so that I could share it with all of you but I chose not to. Then you’d all see how few truly read me and I didn’t want you few who do to feel like total losers. Just trying to save your tender hearts, that’s all.

WordPress told me that I should write more about head lice, burkas and Toddler’s & Tiaras. That’s what my readers want, apparently. But I can’t. Head lice makes me squeamish. Burkas make me lose readers because they think I’m a racist. And Toddler’s & Tiaras doesn’t deserve any more publicity. (So erase those last few sentences from your memory banks. These aren’t the droids you’re looking for.)

I have readers (all 44 of you) from six of the seven continents. Most from the US and Canada. That means that 21 of you are from North America. Nine of you are from Europe. Six from Australia. Five from South America. Two from Asia and one from Africa. (This is just a guess. An uneducated one. And 44? Just the number of hits I had at the moment I began writing this post. But I like playing with numbers. And pretending, apparently.) 

Here’s where it really gets interesting….

One of my greatest referral sites, besides Google and WordPress, is the sweet Bibliomama from up yonder. (That means Canada.) So, thank you, Bibliomama. I have a feeling it’s because Blogspot has that handy dandy feature that you employ on your sidebar. You know, the one that advertises the latests blog post titles of the writers in your Blogroll. Thank you for using this feature. I love it, myself. And I’m grateful that I have an honored spot in your Blogroll.

I, like any other blogger, like comments. Here on my blog, that is. Finding the time to read everyone out there that I want to read and then comment – that’s another story. But comments here? Welcomed and encouraged.

My top 5 commenters are:

1. Big Little Wolf at Daily Plate of Crazy

2. Dawn King from Dawn King

3. Faemom from Faemom

4. Katy Beth from My Odd Family

and last, but certainly not least….

5. TKW from The Kitchen Witch

You ladies are the bomb! Thank you, a million thank yous, for popping in here to see what I’ve written and then commenting even though I seem to have a hard time getting around to that myself. It’s nice to know I’m not writing to wind. I promise to make the effort to do a better job of commenting. I promise.

My little WordPress annual report was entertaining. And it reminded me to thank the readers who read me, which I should do more often.

Thank you! All of you!

And to the readers who are no longer coming here because, through my humble blog, I’ve cured your head lice situation?

You’re welcome.

14 Comments

Filed under Because I'm Curious, Blogging

Where In The World DO They Find These Spam Writers? I Mean It. I Want To Know WHERE.

My spam cracks me up. It can even turn into a pretty entertaining blog post. I’ve written about spam so many times, I figured you were all bored with the topic by now.

But I recently received this:

“I’m a recurrent audience of one’s blogs. My partner and i liked the recent one and other content on your weblog a lot that I have subscribed to the blog’s Feed throughout Thunderbird. Even considering thieving some thoughts and place results. Retain every one of the great going by posting far more helpful content. Time well spent about this submit. Thank you.”

Nothing out of the ordinary. But it made me giggle all the same.

“Recurrent audience of one’s blogs” – Recurrent and one’s? Love it!

“Even considering thieving some thoughts and place results” – Thieving. Cool usage. And they spelled it right. (I didn’t when I first typed it here.) And what the heck is a place result?

“Retain every one of the great going” – Huh?

“By posting far more helpful content” – Hey! I thought you said you liked my blog. Now you’re criticizing the helpfulness of my content?

“Time well spent about this submit” – What’s a submit?

The sometimes firm and not so firm grasp of the English language has me stymied. Obviously, English is NOT their primary language. So, which is it? Mandarin? Portuguese? Punjabi? (Yes. This is a language. Native to about 109 million people.)

So, I lay awake at night wondering about the grammatical errors and misuse of words, trying to figure out which language in the world would have the most trouble with these English idiosyncrasies. And because I’m not a linguist, I never come to any kind of conclusion.

But that’s OK.

I was sufficiently entertained. And pondering the origin of the material was akin to counting sheep.

So, no worries.

I’m just glad I could be of some help to a far-away spammer.

“Thank you.”

You’re welcome.

9 Comments

Filed under Because I'm Curious, Blogging, Spam

Giving Thanks For My Fake Popularity

For unknown reasons, my blog spiked in readership…no, make that hits, on November 19th. Exactly 17 days after I published this post on head lice.

News Flash! If you want a lot of hits on your blog, write about head lice.

But 17 days later? It took that long for people to find my expert opinion on head lice?

Find me, they did. And I’ve never been more popular. But I know what is happening. People are Googling head lice images and intrigued by my picture, they end up clicking on my blog. All for this picture:

And it isn’t even a very good picture. I used that pic to illustrate how difficult the little buggers are to identify. But no matter. People have been clicking here anyway. Horrible picture and marginal writing and all.

Wild.

But I haven’t gained any new readers from it. And I haven’t discovered any new bloggers.

Just hits.

Empty hits.

Lots and lots of empty hits.

I hope all you silent readers out there are gleaning valuable information. I hope none of you actually have head lice. Hopefully, you’re just educating yourselves. And that’s fine by me. I was a teacher, after all.

And while I know this new popularity is as empty as the hits I’m getting, I’m thankful anyway.

Even if it is fake popularity.

6 Comments

Filed under Blogging

Oh! The Pressure To Write So That I Can Become Famous!

On WordPress, I read about David McRaney, a WordPress blogger who garnered a book deal based on his blog.

I thought, Yay! Good for him!

Then, I read on msn.com about a writer over at cracked.com who wrote a piece about Hollywood’s inaccuracies about the work place. The piece garnered much attention, enough to be mentioned again on msn.com.

I enjoyed both articles. But it got me thinking…..

Oooooo. What if something I wrote got noticed by someone big?  How cool would that be? Oh, the hits my blog would get. I wonder how many new people would find me? How many would click that handy-dandy little subscribe button so that they could read what I’ve written every single time I post?

Every.

Single.

Post.

Oh God. They would click back here and expect another stellar piece. What would I do then?

I enjoy this writing outlet. I love sharing my inconsequential thoughts on the controversial and the mundane. But the majority of my posts are pretty boring and only interesting to a select few (other nuts) out there. And I have typos. And grammatical errors a plenty. Shoot. I’m willing to bet my former English teachers roll in their graves every time I click publish.

But I’m famous now. And I have a public to appease. So I’ll agonize and write and delete and write some more. I’ll spend hours searching the internet for new post ideas and the perfect picture to illustrate my point. The laundry would pile up. We’d eat Chef Boyardee or take-out Chinese every night. My kids would start going to school with mismatched socks and lollipops stuck in their hair. The dog would never get a walk. Dust bunnies the size of tumble weeds would turn our breakfast bar into a wild, wild west saloon.

Nope.

I can’t do it.

You’re stuck with the mostly average and the occasional stellar blog post.

So, go away you fancy, schmacy editors, you.

I just can’t handle the pressure.

11 Comments

Filed under All In A Day's Work, Blogging

Sometimes You Say It Better Than I Can

Did I say sometimes? Let me re-phrase. A lot of the time. I read your posts some days and I’m shaking my head wishing I had said that.

Here.

Let me show you.

1. When I need to shake things up inside my own little head, I visit Big Little Wolf. She always gets me jazzed about some new thought/idea/controversy/event. She tackles all kinds of issues, including  personal responsiblity with our own health.

2. LL Cool Joe offers glimpses into his life that I adore. Especially here, talking about his daughters. (And not really about Beyonce’s @$$, as the title suggests. 😉 

3. I love Rudri’s  introspective writing. So feel free to peruse any of her posts. But go here to wish her a happy birthday!

4. For a laugh, I love to visit Nap at Naptime Writing. This post is the perfect example of why I love her so!

5. And my dear, sweet, TKW. All about picture day. I, too, loathe picture day. And I have boys. Try to figure that one out. It’s not the getting ready or which clothes to wear. It’s the goofy faces or half closed eyes that I face when they come home with those pre-paid-pics. Ugh.

So many more of you that I read and love. Truly. Thanks for always putting out such quality material. I love visiting you all. Even if I’m reading from my phone and can’t (because I’m technically challenged) comment.

5 Comments

Filed under Blogging, friends

We All Deserve A Round Of Applause

I’ve been a crappy blogger lately. Awww, who am I kidding? I’ve been a crappy blogger for months now. I can’t keep up with you all. I can’t keep up with my own writing.

But I’m hanging in there.

And even though I thought I had nothing to say this evening, I decided to peek in on you all. Well, maybe not all of you — I’m one of the lucky ones who has more followers than I deserve. Let’s just say, I began with the intention of peeking in on you all but then I got inspired and it turned into looking in on you some. (Does that even make sense? I didn’t think so.)

I started looking around and reading and musing and even made a few comments. And I discovered something really wonderful.

We’re all still here!

We made it!

We still have blogs and we’re still writing and we’re still reading and conversing.

We’re holding on.

Some by a thread. (Me.) Some with a sturdy grip. (The rest of you.)

But we’re still here.

I’m so impressed. And so happy to know all of you.

Some of you have given up on me. And that’s ok. I probably would have given up on me, too — except I have privy knowledge of the crazy goings-on in my head and if I were you, I wouldn’t want to miss out on the amazing blog posts soon to come. But it’s your choice to bail. That’s what makes this country great. Don’t worry. I don’t hold it against you.

But most of you? You’ve stuck around! To my amazement. You still peek in here from time to time to see how I’m doing. And I’m touched. In awe. And so appreciative.

For that, I applaud you, dear readers. For your perseverance when even I didn’t seem to have any.

Most of all, I applaud YOUR longevity. In a world where blogs last a mere 18 months or less, you and I can proudly say, We Made It!

Stand up.

And let’s give ourselves a round of applause!

 

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Filed under Blogging

Google It. A Blogger’s Best Friend.

I’ve tried other search engines, but quite honestly, Google is my best friend.

He’s always there for me. With information, with a laugh, with the unexpected.

And I absolutely love the suggestions it creates with each of my Google searches. Most of the time.

I TiVo most of my television. I love the convenience of watching when I want to watch, on my comfy couch, on my fancy (for us, anyway) television screen. I was watching the last episode of the season of Detroit 1-8-7 (I’m addicted to cop shows) and decided to “Google it!” to learn more about the program and when it might start up again. Imagine my surprise as I’m typing in the title of the show and one of the suggestions is “Detroit 1-8-7 cancelled.” No, not surprise. I was officially ticked.(Who are these people at Nielsen, anyway?) But thanks to Google, I can write the futile letters to the powers that be and begin mourning the inevitable.

I also love the clever visuals they provide, celebrating the holiday du jour. Like this one for the 119th anniversary of the first documented ice cream sundae. Yum!

Or more recently, Earth Day….

When I’m lost for a blog topic (like today) I will often “Google it!” with “it” being anything. I’ll just start typing letters and see what Google suggests I write about. Sometimes the suggestions will jog a memory or remind me of something that really irks me or make me want to research something I’d never considered before. Like warcraft ( I still don’t get it) or study island (my kind of place – yes, I am and always will be a nerd) or chocolate rain (a viral video on YouTube that reminded me of another post I want to write. Hey! Two for one!)

I’ve even googled “Google it!” and found these clever sites:  Just (blanking) Google It and Here, Let Me Google That For You. (Oh, how I wish I had thought of these first.)

Google is my friend. My best friend when I have a bit of writer’s block. Or some extra time on my hands. Or when procrastination is more fun than productivity. But then, when isn’t procrastination fun?

That’s my secret. And I’m sharing it with you, dear readers. It’s the kind of blogger I am. Little Miss Share My Best Kept Secrets. 

Wait, you say I’ve shared this before? This is a secret re-run?

Uh-oh.

Oh, and you don’t think this is much of a secret? Every blogger knows this. Well, aren’t we all la-ti-da?

Hmmmmm….

Guess my next google should be “original blog topics.”

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Filed under Blogging

What My Blogroll Says About Me

When I first started this business of blogging I was enamoured with the blogroll. My blogroll. Other blogrolls. You could say I became blogroll obsessed.

If I enjoyed another writer, I’d scan their blogroll to see who they thought was interesting. Sometimes I’d like their recommendations. Sometimes I wouldn’t. Sometimes their blogroll was full. Other times there were just a few destinations listed. And sometimes, a blogroll was nowhere to be found.

I’ve come to the following (inaccurate, I’m sure) conclusions…..

1. If the blogroll is chock full I’ve either come across a writer who clearly has so much more reading time on their hards – I could never compete. OR it’s full because they’re just a girl (or guy) who can’t say no and lists every single person that lists them on their blog.

2. If it’s a trim blogroll, I’ve discovered a writer who is a) discriminatory – in a good way. OR b) incredibly lazy. (Oops. I think I’ve just discovered my category. One guess, people and I’ll give you a hint. It isn’t a.)

3. Those without a blogroll? I have no clue. But I do know that when I can’t find a blogroll listed on a writer’s blog that I enjoy? I’m disappointed. I like to see who they are reading.

When I first began blogging, I admit to having  a touch of blogroll diarrhea. I added every single blogger that: amused me, touched me, interested me, encouraged me, challenged me. If they added me to their blogroll, I felt obligated to add them to mine. If I wanted to be on their blogroll and wasn’t, I added them to mine and oh-so-gushingly told them so in an email (hint, hint intended.) Yes. I even grossed myself out. That phase was, thank-you-God, short-lived.

When I came to my senses, I realized that I appreciated other blogrolls that seemed to have truly similar quality or content or inspiration. I trimmed mine down to the nubs.

Then, life hit me full force. I’ve neglected my blogroll, as well as my blog. And I’ve neglected many of you. Not by choice. By necessity. (I’m treading water here, people and the waters seem to be getting deeper and murkier.)

So my blogroll remains very trim. Very, very trim. I can’t remember the last time I added someone. Although I have trimmed a few. Abandoned blogs, mostly.

In my blogroll-obsessed days, I kept a list of bloggers who had me on their blogrolls. I was/am touched, of course, that someone deems me blogroll worthy. I continue to keep the list – as incomplete as it is – so I can check in and read and comment – especially if I haven’t seen you in a while.

I was doing this exercise, fairly recently, because I missed Blog World but didn’t have anything I wanted to share on my own blog. I started visiting my list – checking in and catching up with you all. And I noticed, a few of you have dropped me from your blogrolls. (And by you, I don’t mean you, because after all, if you’re here and you deem me blogroll worthy – I’m probably already there. I mean the yous that have dropped me. And by yous, I don’t mean youse – that’s a part of the Northern US vernacular that I just don’t get.)

I’ve been dumped.

I’d be lying if I said it didn’t matter to me. It does. Especially one in particular. So I wrote this one in particular and I haven’t heard back.

I guess it was something I said. (See? I know some of you don’t believe me, but I do, indeed, tick people off with what I write here. And I’m wallowing in such crap now in my real life that I just want to say – Go buy a thicker skin, people! Life is too freakin’ short to worry about the inconsequential opinions I dish out.)

My blogroll is trim because I’m blog-lazy and my life is full. I should add a few of you and I’ve been meaning to get to my blog-keeping chores but instead, I keep adding more bricks to that road to hell….unintentionally, of course.

To any of you who feel you should be on my blogroll, applications will be accepted on Tuesdays from 12:00pm-12:01pm. Forms should be submitted in triplicate, handwritten in blue ink and delivered by carrier pigeon.

My blogroll is a work in progress. Some days I work on it and most days I forget it’s there.

If you want to be seen on my blog? I’ve found that particularly witty comments garner the most hits.

Just sayin’.

27 Comments

Filed under Blogging

Forget Waldo. Where’s Jane?

No. I’m not out lying on a rooftop somewhere. (Although, after yesterday, you might find me out on a ledge.)

I’m a guest writer over at The Kitchen Witch.

So, c’mon! Follow me. You can read my post and then scan some of her more recent posts, if you haven’t seen them already.  (Mmmmm, I smell Strawberry Shortcake!)

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