Completely Random. Because That’s All I Have Time For.

• Seriously? Is anyone truly surprised that Tom and Katie are divorcing? And that Scientology is playing a part in Katie’s decision to fight for sole custody? This is news?
• Sitting on the porch, supervising our son’s lemonade stand. Husband and #2son get into a disagreement about how to handle the customers. #2son is being argumentative. (Surprise, surprise.) Husband turns to me and says, “Oh. My. God. I’ve given birth to my father.”
• I think to myself, “Uh, no. I gave birth to that 10lb representation of your father. And spittin’ image of you.” Because, as we all know – Like father, like son. Ab-so-f-in-lutely. 
• Other than the similar hair color and same hair style, I don’t see this “amazing” transformation of Naomi Watts into Lady Diana. I just don’t see it.

• Issac Asimov is the only author to have a book in every category of the Dewey Decimal system. (Raise your hand if you know what the Dewey Decimal System is?) 
• I ask this because my elementary school age sons aren’t familiar with this yet. (Huh?) And my college age daughter hesitated in her response. (But got the answer right in the end.) When I asked her how she found books in the library at school she said, “They get the books for you.” Yep. She goes to the computer, finds the book she wants, clicks a button and behold! An automated robotic arm retrieves the book from the stacks and a human person (I hesitate to call this person a librarian) hands her the book after she shows her ID.
• Sigh. No more browsing through the stacks like the old days.
• I miss the old days.
• Speaking of old days, I turn half a century next year. How in the heck did that happen?
• Even my favorite Disney site published a full copy of the Declaration of Independence in honor of July 4th. A perfect reminder of why we have parades and potato salad and “pop-crackers” (as my #1son called them many years ago.)
• “…We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. –That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, –That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness….” 
• Beautiful words, indeed.
• Twenty-two days until the Olympics!
• Wishing for warm, lazy days in the beautiful month of July. Days without forest fires, tornadoes, killer heat waves and bored, whiny children. For all my favorite peeps out there.
• OK. Wishing for days without bored, whiny children is pushing it.
• But one can hope.

Just Call Me Elaine Who Couldn’t Understand The Appeal Of The English Patient. Because That’s Me When It Comes To The Hunger Games.

Just call me Elaine. From Seinfeld. You know, the episode when she just doesn’t understand all the hoopla around The English Patient.

I don’t get the frenzy around The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. I wanted to like it. I truly did. It was our book club’s latest pick and I really wanted to be able to go to the next meeting and contribute. I started it. I re-started it. I resorted to skimming. But I hated it. Meanwhile, everyone is “replying to all” and saying “Don’t you just love this month’s pick?” and “I stayed up until 4am to finish it. I couldn’t put it down!” and “I’m already finished with the second one in the series!”

There’s more?

You’ve got to be kidding me.

The premise of the book centers around a post-apocalyptic world in which a boy and a girl, ages 12 – 18, are chosen by lottery from each of the surrounding 12 districts to compete in a fight to the death televised event in which there may be only one survivor. Oooooo. A futuristic novel where the life of a human being is no longer valued. Death and destruction become entertainment. The joy of the primitive hunt.

Been there. Done that.

The Lottery by Shirley Jackson.

The Long Walk by Richard Bachman (aka Stephen King.)

The Running Man starring Arnold Schwarzenegger. (Loosely based on the book of the same name by Stephen King under his pseudonym Richard Bachman.)

The Most Dangerous Game by Richard Connell.

And in my research, I discovered the book is deemed eerily similar to the Japanese cult franchise, Battle Royale by Koushun Takami , so much so that fans of Battle Royale are crying plagiarism.

A young adult novel about mass murder as entertainment. And a society that stands for it? Call me Pollyanna, but I’m uncomfortable with a novel that involves prostitution, sadistic torture, encourages suicide and murder and calls itself a young adult novel. I realize it is fiction. And I know the readers of the novel realize this, too. But as far as I could tell, there were no moral lessons learned other than survival will be paramount in the distant future. But why? It’s not a world I would like to live in.

And then there was the mass email that said, “The movie is coming out this month! We should all go! Let’s plan on it!”

Uh-oh.

How do I get out of that one?

 

See, Hollywood? Even My Kids See The Difference Between A Book and Your Movie.

One of my favorite things about having kids is that I can relive the favorites from my own childhood. Especially books.

We’re readers in this family. And my boys love that magical 1/2 hour before bedtime when we read a book together. I couldn’t wait for my boys to have the attention span for me to read “chapter books” to them. The Borrowers. The Hobbit. Superfudge.

And Beezus and Ramona.

They loved Beezus and Ramona and I was thrilled. I was afraid that because it was about two sisters they might call it a “girls” book. But they didn’t. They loved Ramona’s antics (just like #2son) and Beezus’ exasperation (just like #1son.) It was a perfect fit – despite the gender difference.

The movie came out and they begged me to take them. I saw the trailer and I had my doubts. As adorable as Selena Gomez and Joey King appeared – it seemed a bit modern and a little off the track. I didn’t recognize the antics portrayed on the commercial. And with Selena Gomez’s popularity, I was afraid the theater would be packed with girls. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I’m just acutely aware of #1son’s phobia of being associated with anything girly. (It’s just a stage. I know.)

So, I taped it. Or DVR’d it. (Whatever we’re calling it these days.)

It was a lazy, summer afternoon. We had swim practice in the morning and baseball at night. The afternoon was spent out of the sun and resting for the next activity. (Them, resting. Me? Housework.)

“Mom! Can we watch Ramona and Beezus?”

“Sure,” I answer, a bit dejectedly. I had wanted to watch it with them but I was under the gun to wash baseball uniforms.

I hear the catchy theme song in the background. I hear a giggle. I figure as soon as I pull the next load out of the dryer I’ll fold clothes in the family room and watch it with them.

But by the time I: sort through 3 hampers, feed the cat, gather 4 full loads of dirty clothes (by color), trip over the dog, transfer one load from the washer to the dryer, and grab the laundry basket towering with unfolded clothes? They’re watching Phineas and Ferb.

“What happened to Ramona and Beezus?” I ask.

“It was way different from the book,” says #2son, “We didn’t like it.”

“Yeah,” #1son adds, “The book was way better!”

See, Hollywood?

You needn’t mess with perfection.

 

 

It’s True. Mother Nature Is Out To Get Us.

Remember a few months ago when I was talking about this book….

and how I couldn’t sleep after I read it?

To refresh your memory, it is yet another apocalyptic tome about evil terrorists who immobilize the entire electrical grid in the US (because all Americans are evil, of course). A high altitude nuclear bomb is set off and unleashes an electromagnetic pulse that paralyzes the United States. Death and destruction ensue. For over a year. The forward and afterword are written by a politician and a U.S. Captain in the Navy, telling us that this is a book describing not if these horrors will happen, but when, justifying their cause to get tough with terrorists.

Well.

I was listening to the news this morning.

And the book was right. It can happen. It probably will happen. But not by some evil dictator.

Oh no.

But by this cheerful, little guy.

Solar flares. They’re common. They happen all the time. But the big ones? The really, really huge solar flares? Happen about once a century. And we’re overdue.

Way overdue.

Scientists predict that the last really big one happened about 150 years ago. And because the only electrical-type system being used at the time was a telegraph, it only mildly paralyzed the area affected.

But today? When our very existence is dependent on electrical power? According to the scientist being interviewed, a really big one could paralyze an entire area (and we’re talking really big areas – like continents) for at best, a few months, most probably a year or more.

Are you kidding me? An evil terrorist I can deal with. (Well, two months ago I couldn’t deal with it but when you compare it to an act of nature, I can.) I can pray for a change of heart. I can send them love and light. But the sun? The whimsical, unpredictable flurries of the sun? Are you freakin’ kidding me?

I should just throw in the towel and start makin’ my sign.

This is so depressing.

I’m going back to bed.

When the Apocalypse Comes I Know Where to Run

I enjoy science fiction. Let me clarify. Really good, classic or soon-to-be classic science fiction. I’m talking H. G. Wells, Issac Asimov, Ray Bradbury kind of science fiction.

It all started with Madeleine L’Engle’s “A Wrinkle in Time.” And then it was short stories by Ray Bradbury and Shirley Jackson. Or “Dune” or “Stranger in a Strange Land.” Even “A Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.” I was hooked.

And I liked that while most of what I read seemed so very real, it wasn’t – really. After all, it was science fiction.

And then a friend lent me “One Second After” by William R. Forstchen. I knew, a chapter in, that I probably shouldn’t finish it. I knew it would be disturbing. I resented the scare tactic forward by Newt Gingrich and the “Not If It Will Happen But When Will It Happen” afterward by Captain Bill Sanders of the US Navy. I’m not convinced that this is a classic in the making. It’s an easy, straight forward read, sure. Yet there is not much depth to the writing style.  There are some (hopefully) typos.

But intriguing? Yes.

Captivating? Yes.

Like a nasty car wreck on the side of the road, I couldn’t NOT look. I finished it in two sittings. And when I finished? I was glad I hadn’t read it just before bedtime.

But almost seven hours after finishing it, I can’t stop thinking about it. I can’t help wondering if, God forbid, my children or even I might experience something this horrific in my lifetime.

When I was in my teens, AIDS was being realized as more than just a “gay disease.” I remember talking to my dad and asking what was the point of bringing more children into such a depressing world. My father smiled and said, “In my day, it was polio. In yours, it’s AIDS. For your children, it will be something else. Life always finds a way to move on.”

So, upon finishing “One Second After” I think, OK. It was “War of the Worlds” back in the 50’s. Today, it is “One Second After.” For my children? Something else?

Apocalyptic thinking is not my style. I don’t have canned goods, bottled water and ammo in my basement. But this book has me thinking I should.

And then I shake some good sense back in my head.

I can not live a life based on fear. I can’t plot each day, imagining each horrible scenario that could be avoided and take the proper precautions.

But I wear a seatbelt. I have insurance. I take my vitamins.

What is reasonable preparation for the worst and what is going overboard?

Bomb shelters in the 50’s. Preparedness or overboard?

My brother-in-law with stock piles of water, canned goods and ammo in his basement? Is he prepared or just crazy?

Well, at least I know where to run should the apocalypse come.

Aidan Donnelley Rowley: The Process, The Journey, The Yes!

One of our very own became a published author yesterday. Aidan Donnelley Rowley, author of “Life After Yes.” Oooo, my heart did a little jump. And why? I hardly know her. But then, many times when I read her blog (Ivy League Insecurities) or she leaves a comment or sends an email, I feel like we are long-lost friends, keeping in touch through the convenience of the internet.

I discovered Aidan through her blog a few months after I began my own. I was immediately taken with her philosophical musings. Her lyrical phrasing. When she shared with us the excitement of having her book published I was instantly caught up in the joy. She was kind enough to share her thoughts on the process, the journey and the yes.

 1. Tell the truth, is this your very first attempt at publishing a novel?

 Yes, this was and is my first attempt at publishing a novel. I will say that I took my time with Life After Yes, starting it immediately after leaving my job at the law firm and working on it, on and off, for over three years before seeking an agent. I must add that I welcomed my two little girls during that time, so I was not a complete slacker! 🙂

 2. Many authors talk about books “writing themselves.” Did you have a plan or outline or did LAY write itself?

 I had no outline for Life After Yes, but I did have a vague plan in my mind for how the story would evolve. There were certainly parts of the book that “wrote themselves”; I would sit there for hours on end in my local Starbucks pounding away at the keyboard and then be amazed to have a dozen pages wherein my characters did things I never predicted they would.

3. What was the greatest challenge bringing your novel to life?

 Frankly, I – and I imagine most authors – faced many challenges in bringing my novel to life. Among the biggest were time and confidence. As a mother of two young girls, it was hard to find adequate time to sit down and focus and write. And it continues to be very hard for me to justify spending time away from them which writing a novel patently entails. And confidence. There were so many points during the writing process where I was plagued by doubts, where I convinced myself that my story would never cut it. Once I realized that it didn’t matter, that I loved to write and that completing the story – no matter its fate – was my goal, things really came together.

 4. What is the best advice you can give hopeful authors?

 Just write. Allow your first drafts to be terrible. Tease out your voice. Take writing classes. Don’t mimic. Be willing to fail. Be willing to succeed.

 5. What books have most influenced you?

 My favorite book of all time is Charlotte’s Web. This book plays an important role in Life After Yes and has continued to be a big influence in my life. There are so many things about this book that speak to me  – the simple and stunning nature of its prose, the universality of its lessons about life and love and loss, the commingling sweetness and sadness at its core.

 6. Writer’s Block. How have you overcome it?

 Blogging. Before I started my blog Ivy League Insecurities, I dealt with writer’s block by not writing. I would only write when I felt a particularly compelling urge and when the sentences flowed freely. The result was that there would be large chunks of time – weeks and months – when I wouldn’t write a word. Not good. The discipline of blogging and keeping to a schedule of posting five times a week has kept my literary juices flowing. The problem now is trying to find a balance between blog writing and book writing…

 7. You are a mother of two adorable little girls and a wife to a devoted husband. How did you balance time for your family and time to write?

 Looking back over the past few years, I feel good about how I balanced things between my family and my writing. I have been able to be a very hands-on mom and present wife while also being productive professionally. But – and it is a bit but –never once did I feel like I was doing a good job at balancing these things in the moment. Each and every day, I worry that I am neglecting something or someone in the existential equation of my life. I am just now realizing that this is par for the course and that balance is something of an enigma.

 8. Describe the perfect day for writing.

 The perfect day for writing is one that is busy and full of other good things – time with friends and family – but full of bits of time where I can sit down – in my office, or at a coffee shop – and bang out a blog post or a few pages of a manuscript. I do better with fitting writing into the cracks of my days – early mornings, between commitments, late at night – than I do with the open expanse of an entire day.

 9. If you could have a “do over” for anything involving the writing/publishing process for LAY what would it be?

 Good question. Tough question. I can honestly say – and know that this is before publication so I might feel differently even days from now – that I have been genuinely happy with how everything has gone with the publication process. There have been bumps. Of course. I struggled a bit with the title choice and cover choice, but I sit here now (yes, at Starbucks!) clutching my rookie novel and it is gorgeous and has the perfect title and perfect cover so it is all worth it. One thing I do wish is that I was able to enjoy the process a bit more. That I was able to worry a bit less. That I was able to control my insecurities a bit better. But, alas. I am here. And it’s a good place to be 🙂

(Leave your comment below by Saturday, May 22 at 6:00am EST for a chance to receive a brand new, hot off the presses copy of “Life After Yes!”)

(Kristen, at Motherese, hosts an online book club. The next selection is “Life After Yes!” It begins the week of May 31st. For more information, click here. See you there!)