Tag Archives: goals

An Apology. A Comment. A Revelation. And A Get Out Of Jail Free Card. I’m Free! (Thanks, Barry!)

I owe you all an apology. Remember a few months ago? When I took a little 2 week vacation that turned into three? And I came back all refreshed and ready to rock ‘n’ roll?

I lied.

My comeback?

More like my fake comeback.

Sure. I came back. And I churned out a few posts.

But having the time to craft the kind of posts I wanted?

Didn’t happen.

Making the time to read the so-very-many blogs of yours that I enjoy reading?

Didn’t happen. Again.

And I began feeling like a failure. Because I couldn’t measure up to my self-imposed grading scale as a blogger. Hovering at a D-, I struggled to write/read/comment. And then? In my personal life – the proverbial *&%$ hit the fan. Not once. Not twice. But every single day. For about 19 days straight. I’m not exaggerating. Just ask my therapist. Or my husband. Or my kids. Or the people who rent our old house. We were all hanging by a thread at Chez Jane’s for most of December.

With crap flying in all directions you’d think I’d take another blogging break. But nooooo.  I didn’t. I couldn’t. I just took one in November. I couldn’t take another in December, too. That would be unacceptable. Unheard of. Another break? That would be admitting that I just couldn’t handle the pressure. I’m not weak. I’m strong. I am woman. Hear me roar!

Acting all tough, I published my “I Don’t Give A Flip” post. But then one of you called me on it. (Ahem, Katybeth.) And then another (Yes, you… Barry) sent me a Get-Out-Of-Jail-Free-Card.

I was intrigued.

Barry wrote a post called “Why Does She Do It?” I swear he was speaking directly to me. Except that he wrote it without knowing anything that went on my life in the past 28 days. (Are you psychic, Barry?)

From his male perspective, he wonders aloud why we women put ourselves through the paces? Why do we set impossible goals and expectations for ourselves? Are these expectations real or imagined?

And then he gives us all a beautiful gift. A Get-Out-Jail-Free-Card. (My blood pressure just dropped typing those words.) 

Nifty little dotted line to make cutting easier. Permission to laminate and put in your wallet to use for any occasion you deem fit. And suggestions on how to use the card. (Although, as much as I’d love to use the eye-rolling feature, I’ve been trying to break this nasty habit of mine for years and have finally made some progress. One get-out-free use and all might be lost.)

What a concept. Get out of jail free. Go to the bakery section of Publix instead of staying up until 2am baking cookies for #2son’s Christmas party at school. Jarred spaghetti sauce instead of homemade when the in-laws come to town. (Hide the jars deep in the recycling bin and they’ll never know the difference.) Say “no” to yet another volunteer request from the pushy neighbor on the pool committee.

Get out of jail free.

I love it.

No longer behind bars, I’m going to venture out there with new expectations for myself that have way more wiggle room than before.

I have choices. I can take a detour. Or the easy way out. No, make that the easy button!

And it’s all going to be OK. The world will not spin off its axis. My family will survive. My blogging buds will understand.

Ahhhhh.

I feel so much better.

(Thanks, Barry!)

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Filed under Blogging, Lessons Learned

Leave Worries Behind And Dream. Just A Little.

My dad was a bit of a hippie. I have a picture of him in a turtle neck, bell bottoms and a peace sign on a chain around his neck. It wasn’t a Halloween costume. That was his weekend best.

During the week he wore a suit and tie.

Two different wardrobes but always the same music.

He loved music. 50’s Do0-wop. Gospel. Motown. And folk music. Lots and lots of folk music. I grew up on Bob Dylan, Joan Baez, Peter, Paul and Mary, The Kingston Trio and Simon & Garfunkel. I learned to sing to all of them. But I especially loved to sing along to The Mamas and the Papas.

It always surprises me when I am reminded of how short their career was.

Four years. Five albums. And 11 Top 40 hits.

That’s it. That’s all. But their influence on generations is wide. And their songs are still loved today.

I’ve been reflective of late: considering my anniversary in Blog World, evaluating the impact I’m making in my community, wondering and striving to be a good example to my children. I look at your blogs. I can pick out who is in it for the long haul. Who is in it to be the next Dooce. Who just wants to have a creative outlet in a crazy life.

“Stars shining bright above you
Night breezes seem to whisper “I love you”
Birds singing in the sycamore tree
Dream a little dream of me”

I hope I have staying power. I hope I last longer than 4 years and a few hit posts. I hope the impression I make on this earth is a positive one. And the footprint I leave behind is filled with love, joy and compassion. I pray that my life with my children is long, long, long and that I give them oodles of shining examples to live their lives by.

And if not?

“Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you
Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you
But in your dreams whatever they be
Dream a little dream of me”

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Filed under Music