Tag Archives: Gun

Tires and Guns and Mom’s Epic Fail. Or Was It?

A car sped past us and ran the light turning yellow to red.

My eight-year-old, in all of his wisdom says, “I know how to stop him, Dad. You take a gun and you shoot and you blow out his tires.”

I’m too shocked to speak. Thoughts are bombarding my brain. Epic fail, Mom. How does he know this? The TVs are programmed PG or less. How could he have seen such a thing?  Where did I fail my son? That’s it. No more television. No more computer. No more video games. I’m unplugging everything as soon as we get home.

Meanwhile, my husband, very calmly, says, “That would be a very dangerous thing to do. It could cause an accident, not to mention the fact that you would ruin the tires and tires are expensive.”

Not missing a beat, #1son says, “Well, Dad. That’s why he should have a retirement plan.”

Well. At least I raised a kid with a quick wit and a sense of humor.

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Filed under children, funny

Just Another Day At The Office

I was having a crummy day. Nothing outstanding happened. Just the usual. Running late. Forgot to sign the permission slip. Almost late on a bill that got lost in the shuffle. (Thank God for online Bill Pay!) Out of milk. Nothing for dinner. Bank account low. Deleted a show by mistake before I actually watched it with no way to retrieve it.

Just your run-of-the-mill terrible-horrible-no-good-very-bad day.

So, I called my sister.

“Hey! How’s it going?” she chirps.

I tell her. All forlorn. Waiting for the pity party to begin.

And it does. She’s great like that. After we commiserate, I ask her about her day.

Background info: She is the head administrator at an alternative school for teens.

She had to expel the girl who put the other girl into critical care Monday. A student stole copies of an upcoming test. She had an appointment with someone’s probation officer in 15 minutes. So, no time for lunch. Again. Her lead English teacher turned in her notice because she was following her husband to South Africa. And she had just finished a meeting with one of the plainclothes policemen that would be at the school tomorrow because a student posted on their Facebook page that they planned on bringing a gun to school.

Yep.

Just another day at the office.

Boy, I have it soooo good!

Please pray for all of our teachers and administrators out there. They have the toughest jobs ever!

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Filed under All In A Day's Work

Proof! Proof, I Say!

Ck challenged me to prove that there is a Family Shootin’ Range opening up a mile from my house. I wrote about it last week, remember? Click here for my Happiness Is A Warm Gun post if you need your memory jogged.

Yup, got the proof riiiight cheer….

It’s guaranteed to be a bang up time. Yer darn tootin’!

(The scary thing is? I have a 7-year-old son that keeps asking if we can go once it opens. “But it says family, Mom!”)

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Filed under funny, Observations

Happiness Is A Warm Gun

I live in the south. The Deep South.

I was born in the Mid-West. And lived there 21 years.

But the south is where I call home. After all, I’ve lived here more than half my life. And I love it here. I wouldn’t want to live anywhere else.

I say “y’all.” I eat collards and grits – by choice. I drink Sweet Tea. (Note the capitalized letters because it IS a drink like no other. Truly the champagne of the South.) I even give directions like the locals: “Turn right where the old A&P used to be and then go all the way past the Henderson’s Farm and turn left.”

But there are some oddities I have yet to get used to.

Churches in shopping malls. The phrase “fixin’ to” do something. Possum – the other white meat.

Family Shooting Ranges.

Yep. You read right. A family friendly shooting range. Opening up  just 1 mile from our house. That’s what it said on the sign: Family Indoor Shooting Range. I nearabout ran off the road when I read it.

Sho’ nuff.

“Happiness is a warm gun”

Nothing says family like grabbin’ the ole .38 Special  and heading out to the local shooting range.

Right?

“Bang Bang Shoot Shoot”

I mean, family and shooting in the same sentence?

Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit.

Who knew?

(This post is part of the Five For Ten project at Momalom. Please visit their site for more wonderful posts on Happiness. Or click the button below to find out how YOU can participate!)

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Filed under Observations