Tag Archives: insurance

It Was A Scene Straight Out Of Law And Order

“Hang up the phone and step away from  the computer!”

In a hushed tone she says, “I’m going to have to put you on hold for a moment.”


And then, Muzak. With an announcement every minute or so, “Your call is important to us. Someone will be with you shortly.”

I wait. And I wait. And I wait some more. I’d hang up but we were right in the middle of my insurance application. The verification process. You know, when you let them know that no one in your household has cancer, AIDS or the dreaded hangnail. I don’t want to start the process all over again. I want to get this over with. Now.

But ten minutes goes by and now I’m starting to analyze what I heard. I’ve already processed that it was an odd thing to hear in the background. Was I imagining it? Do I watch too many crime shows? Or maybe someone is going postal on my new (fingers crossed!) insurance company.

I can’t hang up. I don’t have a call back number. I was transferred to her phone. Ah, but I do have the phone number of the original agent. I pick up my cell (keeping underwriter lady on speaker on the land line) and  dial his number. It goes straight to voicemail. Sheepishly, I tell him I’m probably imagining things but there might be something going on in the underwriting office. Maybe someone should check it out or call 911?

I wait. And I wait some more. A full 45 minutes I wait and then give up. I turn on the television to see if there is any breaking news of a mad gunman in the area. Nothing.

I tell my husband and he cracks up. “You watch way too much crime TV. It was probably the IT guy coming to fix the computer.” He’s probably right. Earlier in the conversation she had to call me back because of some problems with her computer. Boy, do I have an imagination.

But then, the next morning, I get a call from my new (hopefully!) agent. I apologize for my voicemail message, embarrassed at my overreaction.

He says, “No, I need to apologize to you. I’m so sorry that happened to your call. But you were partly right. It WAS a scene right out of Law and Order.”

He goes on to explain that apparently, a disgruntled former employee reported that there was only one agent out of 80 that was actually licensed. And since they are  a company that deals with people all over the country, that’s a federal offense. And apparently, this warranted the FBI and the local SWAT team to come in with guns raised to check it out.

But after interviewing 30 of the 80 employees and finding out that yes, indeed, they were all card-carrying, legitimate insurance agents they let them all go home. Shame on that former employee for making the bogus claim. But she got what she wanted. A little revenge, shutting down the company for a day. Lost revenue and all. I hope they sue her.

“Hang up the phone and step away from the computer.”


Just call me Detective Jane.


Filed under All In A Day's Work, funny

Top 10 Reasons Why I Hate Western Medicine

10. It’s a necessary evil sometimes. My husband practices Tradition Chinese Medicine (TCM). He is amazing at what he does. Why is he so amazing? He’s just THAT good. BUT, he also recognizes when Western medicine is necessary. I was raised in a Western medicine family. It’s all I knew until I met my husband. I have a love/hate relationship with Western medicine. I call it a necessary evil  because of the following….

9. My appointment is the first one of the day and I still have to wait 40+ minutes before anyone sees me. Overbooking is rude. I know you have no-call-no-shows. I realize that emergencies arise. But when I wait that long. Every. Single. Time.  My time is valuable, too. It’s annoying. It’s more than annoying; it’s expensive.  And my sitter doesn’t appreciate it, either.

8. I’m just following doctor’s orders. Don’t shoot the messenger. I needed to drop off lab results that I’d had a few weeks ago. The doctor told me to come in the next day. She told me the time to be there; when  she first arrives in the morning. She wanted to take a look at the previous results and see if other tests needed to be ordered. Plus, she wanted to see how I was doing on my new meds. (I wasn’t doing well.) So, I asked to have a minute to speak to her. Nope. I got the eye roll from the front desk and was told to fill in a “Patient Walk In” form and she would call me later. She has a very busy schedule. (What was I thinking?)

7. It was the lab tech’s idea. I promise!  When the lab tech saw what I had written about the side effects I was experiencing she offered to see if my doctor had a minute to speak with me. The nurse came in and snipped, “If you need to speak with a doctor, you’ll need to make an appointment for sometime today. And we can’t guarantee you’ll be able to see Dr. X but we’ll make sure you see someone.” I told her to forget it. If Dr. X had time to call me, I’m sure we can handle it over the phone. Sheeesh.

6. Fox News on the waiting room TV. (Need I say more?)

5. They refuse to call you by the right name. If they could give you a number, they would. My son’s name is four names long. First name. Second name. Third name (his Korean given name) and last name. We go by second name. It’s a family tradition. Plus, it alerts you to when telemarketers are calling. When you fill out the medical forms, they want the child’s legal name. No matter how many times I circle his second name or tell the front desk what he likes to be called they insist on calling over the loud-speaker “James Lastname to room #2.” Who the heck is James? Oh, yeah. That’s us.

4. The doctor will be with you in a moment – but first, how are you going to pay for this? I know it’s their job. And there is nothing wrong for getting paid for doing good work. But I hate how the front desk accost me every time to make sure my insurance is up to date and the forms I have to sign every, single time stating I’ll pay them if insurance doesn’t. Money first, healing second.

3. The germs. Everywhere. I’m a bit of a germaphobe. I cringe thinking about all the dirty door knobs, armrests, magazines. You know, the stuff they probably don’t sterilize. Ewwww.

2. Everyone loves an instant fix. It’s what you do best. But what about the fact that I’m also not sleeping or crave sweets or am overly sensitive to smells. Western medicine tends to look at individual symptoms and not the whole person to see what might be related. And then they treat each individual symptom, cluttering up your medicine cabinet. TCM considers the whole. I love that.

And the #1 reason I hate Western medicine….

1. The cost. It’s huge. It’s gigantic. For me. For all of us. But for that, I fear we have insurance, malpractice and lawsuits to blame. I’m not going to pin that one on the doctors. Well, not all of them, anyway.


Filed under Soapbox