Tag Archives: Kohls

Dear Lady At Kohl’s

Dear Lady-at-Kohl’s-with-your-19-items-one-of-which-needed-a-price-check,

You can’t say you didn’t see me coming. We made eye contact. Just after I said to my boys, “Come on boys. Let’s get going.”

You see, they’re little boys. And they dawdle. And daydream. But we had to get going. This was an unscheduled stop in our on-the-way-home-from-school routine. #1son’s shoes ripped at the seams during school and needed to be replaced. We came in for a pair of shoes. We ended up with two pairs, one for each boy. They wanted to hold the boxes themselves. Apparently, walking and holding a box was slowing them down.

You had been browsing in the women’s section. When you heard me, our eyes locked. And then you looked at the registers and noticed there was no line. So you shoved your cart out into the aisle and elbowed (yes, elbowed) my son, my seven-year-old son, out of your way. And then you proceeded to race us to the cashier.

You won. With your nineteen items and my two. I glared at you, trying to stare a hole in the back of your head. Wishing evil things. Things I can’t share here because my readers think I am oh-so-kind. But I’m not. Not when an almost elderly woman, with a wedding band, who has surely had children, nearly mows down my child and pushes past me in order to beat us to the line.

So we waited behind you, quite patiently. And then it happened. Item number 12 needed a price check. “I’ll wait,” you said oh-so-sweetly. So we all waited. Me. My boys. And the 4 people now behind us.

Finally, another cashier opened. She said a few times, “I’ll take the next in line.” Which was me. But with 4 more people behind us, I knew someone else would jump ahead of me. But the lady insisted. And so did the lady directly behind me. So we, me and my boys, step out of line and who should appear? Another (insert expletive) jerk who was in more of a hurry than I was, apparently.

The kind, sweet soul who was behind us in the first line graciously called me over to my original spot. She shook her head and commiserated with me. You see, she noticed not only Mr. Jerk, but you, too. I said, “Some days are like this.” “But they shouldn’t be,” was her reply.

You left. Finally. And we paid for our measly two items. And walked out of the store. Me and my dawdling two boys. You were parked right next to me. You were preparing to drive away. But you saw us coming. Protectively, I put out my hands to stop my boys from walking. If your driving was anything like your shopping cart maneuvers, we were in trouble.

But you waved us ahead. I stood firm. You kept waving. Finally, I allowed us to cautiously, so very cautiously, step in front of your car. And safely pass in front of you to our own vehicle.

After all.

It was the least you could do.

(Ok. I feel better now.)

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Filed under All In A Day's Work, Observations, People

Two Dudes And A Mom – A Very Grateful Mom

Yesterday was the first day back to school. The morning was typical – racing around trying to find shoes, coats, lunch boxes. We hopped into the car about 3 minutes later than our goal time. Not bad. It’s a 20 minute ride and #1son wanted to count speed limit signs on the way. There were a lot less than we anticipated, only finding 15. Sitting in carpool line, inching to the front, I see the teacher’s aide dressed like a polar bear. Oh. No.

Our high is only supposed to be around 30 today. We’re not used to this. We live in the south. All the other kids getting out of their cars are dressed like polar bears, too. My boys? Just their jackets. With a flimsy hood. Epic fail, Mom!

Racing home I pray the powers-that-be will think it too cold to let the kids go outside. I don’t want to be known as “THAT mom.” I pour through the coat closet searching for scarves, gloves and hats.

I find plenty of scarves.

I find plenty of gloves and mittens.

I even find four pairs of gloves that are brand, spanking new – never been used, found on clearance last season.

But no hats. Not a one. Nada. Zip. Zilch.

When I pick them up from school I ask, oh so casually, “So, did you play outside today?”

“No, the teacher said it was too cold,” they replied.

Thank you, God. I take the boys to Kohls immediately. I do not pass Go. I do not collect $200 – although that would have been nice but frankly, I don’t deserve it. We purchase the last two knit caps on the shelf. The very last two. And the stocking cap angels were smiling down on me today because each boy grabbed a cap and each boy loved it.

Two very happy dudes and one very grateful mom.

Success!

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Filed under children, funny, parenting