Tag Archives: Olympics

Jane Goes Undercover. It’s Going To Be An Interesting Summer.

 

A little background, if I may: I began swimming competitively when I was about 9 years old. Apparently, I had a little talent in the sport. I made it to national meets by the time I was 13. I loved swimming. I was one of the weird ones who didn’t mind getting up at 5am to swim before school. I enjoyed being the first one to practice. I was one of those year-round crazies that swam 2-4 hours a day, 10,000 yards a practice, 50 weeks out of the year.

In college, I received a music scholarship and had to choose between swimming and music. It was a Big Ten University with a stellar swimming program. I made the team but not with any financial help. Since music was paying for some of my schooling, music won. But I had been coaching summer league swimming since I was 17 and found a part-time job as an assistant coach in a year round age group program in college. I could enjoy both of my loves. I was set. I coached for 12 years.

When my children came along I always steered them toward another sport. I knew how pushy/obnoxious/ignorant swimming parents could be. (Little did I know, they’d be the same way in every other sport) I didn’t want to become one of those parents. My youngest son wasn’t buying it. He begged and pleaded and practically went on strike until we’d let him swim. He started his first team experience a week ago.

Parents are required to volunteer at three meets per season. Because we started late, there weren’t many volunteer slots left to choose from. Except for Stroke and Turn Judge, which requires a training class. I attended the training class yesterday afternoon.

What an experience.

Background information #2: I’ve decided not to advertise my background in the sport. Many parents involved in swimming, if they haven’t competed themselves, think that because they’ve watched the Olympics a few times and can pick out Michael Phelps in a line up, they are experts at swimming. I’m a people watcher – a people observer. In short, I’m looking forward to seeing some of these “experts” in action.

“For those of us who arrived 4 minutes early, what did we miss?” asks a woman from the back, obviously annoyed that the instructor has started on time. Yes. He started on time. I know, because I’m a stickler for punctuality when it involves missing time from my family. I secretly shake my head and decide that those who choose any kind of officiating role must be control freaks.

The instructor is trying to find out what kind of experience we have in the sport.

“Raise your hand if you’ve officiated before and this is just a refresher course,” he asks.

Of course, my hand is down.

“Raise your hand if this is your first time taking the course.”

I raise my hand.

Because he thinks he knows the answer, he grins and says, “Keep your hand up if this is your child’s first season swimming.”

I’m the only one with my hand up.

He looks at me with wide eyes. “Your child has never swam before?”

“No sir,” I reply.

He shakes his head. “Then sharpen your pencil. You’ve got a lot to take in.”

I certainly do, I think, smiling inside.

About half way into the session, a woman asks, “Is this going to run much longer? My daughter has her last soccer game today.” We’ve only covered two strokes. We still have two more and relays and IMs to cover.

“You’ll need to sign up for another course,” the instructor replies, “You can’t be certified if you only complete half.”

“But my dad was an official at the Pam Am games,” she answers.

“Is he going to come with you to every meet?” asks the instructor.

She pouts and stays to finish the class.

We work in groups, analyzing different infractions. One of my group-mates boasts that he swam in high school and was never DQ’d (disqualified) so this is going to be a piece of cake for him.  And I think, yeah. That’s because you swam four months out of every year and probably only swam the freestyle. If you haven’t been DQ’d, you haven’t been swimming very long.

As we turned in our tests and they were graded in front of us, the instructor – obviously impressed with my score – said, “You must have been an excellent student in school.”

I smiled and nodded, afraid to open my mouth and betray my true experience.

Ahhhh, yes.

This is going to be an interesting season.

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Filed under All In A Day's Work, Observations, People

A Little Bit Of My Own WTH Wednesday

Ok. That should really be WTF – but children follow my blog (Hi #1daughter!) and I just couldn’t bring myself to put the “F” word in my title. Even that last sentence felt risky. (Looking toward the sky, waiting for the lightning to strike) And my WTH stands for What The Heck. I can’t even bring myself to say the other “H” word. Just call me Polly Purebred. My dear friend Submom started WTF Wednesdays on her blog and I’ve been annoyed by a few things lately (Could you tell? Am I PMS-ing? Is it menopause? I don’t know what it is but my last few posts have been leaning towards the Debbie Downer side of the scale. Sorry y’all!) and I decided to take full advantage of her wonderful idea and just share a bit of WTH of my own.

Have you heard? Oprah is against texting and driving. She’s even taking it a step further and decrying cell phone use and driving. She devoted an entire show to it. She’s joined the movement. Yay! Good for her! Now please know, that I am also against texting and driving. It IS a horrible, dangerous thing. But Oprah is telling us to stop doing it? Oprah has a chauffeur. Oprah can text and ride. Oprah doesn’t drive herself anywhere.  WTH?

Which reminds me of Jennifer Anniston’s 3-minute shower we heard about a few years ago. Just one little thing she’s doing to help the environment. She even brushes her teeth in there, too. This not only saves time but money! Yay for Jennifer! She’s taking a 3-minute shower to save water. Must really help reduce the water bill so she can afford to heat and cool the 14,000 square foot mansion she lives in. WTH?

Evgeni Plushenko (silver medalist in men’s figure skating) is still whining about his loss that took place a week ago. Evan Lysacek won the gold. And he has been more than gracious toward his opponent. But Evgeni Plushenko just can’t let it go. He even created his own Platinum medal, shown here on his website. He’s a legend in his own mind. The website claims he is still “the best” because Plushenko “is one of the few who performed quadruple jumps in their routine and did it best.” Did it best according to whom? Apparently, the Olympic judges thought Evan was “the best.” WTH, Evgeni?

My two favorite orders of fries are both the worst and best fries in America. I love 5 Guys Burgers & Fries french fries. And to my credit, I have never finished off an entire order (they give you enough to feed a family of 4.) But the 5 Guys fries have a whopping 1,464 calories and 71 grams of fat. And McDonald’s french fries? They’re health food, comparatively. A small order is 230 calories and 11 grams of fat. And of the big three (Burger King, Wendy’s and McDonald’s) they’re still the healthiest portion. Stop the presses! McDonald’s french fries are health food! WTH?

So there you have it. My version of WTF. It doesn’t hold a candle to Submom’s but it was fun to play along! What’s your WTH moment of the day?

(Our regularly scheduled optimism will be back tomorrow. Stay tuned!)

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Filed under WTH