This just in!
Six-year-old Eden Wood is retiring from…..
After all, she’s competed in over 300 already. Call it burn-out. Call it been-there-done-that. Whatever the reason, she’s done.
Maybe pageants will interfere with her book tour. She’s written a memoir. It’s called “From Cradle To Crown.” Six years old and she has a memoir already.
Boy, I’d better get busy with mine. Looks like I’m about 40 years behind schedule.
I’ve been snowed in. Trapped in my own home. We’ve baked. We’ve cleaned. We’ve played xBox and board games. The boys have comandeered the computer. There’s a half-finished 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle on the kitchen table. Laundry has been washed twice.
What to do….what to do?
Has anyone seen Toddlers and Tiaras? Another train wreck of a television show. I got involved and couldn’t look away. I can’t say I’ll ever watch it again. This episode had me catching flies. My boys came downstairs and saw my facial expression and said, “Mommy?!? What’s wrong?”
“Go!” I said firmly, “This show isn’t appropriate for……..well, anyone.”
Prancing around little girls. Waxing a 7 year-olds eyebrows while she screams and cries for them to stop. Spray tanning, mascara, lip gloss and debating fake nails for a 15 month old. Yes, you read right. 15 months old.
I burst out laughing when little Sami Jo’s mother said, with a serious-as-a-heart-attack-expression on her face, “I just don’t know HOW she’s going to react if she doesn’t win her division!”
How she’s going to react? Are you kidding me? She’s 15 months old. Your daughter “uses three words regularly, walks backwards, scribbles with a crayon and has adopted “no” as her favorite word.” She can’t spell the word pageant, let alone say it. She doesn’t know she’s in a pageant. She doesn’t know what a pageant is. And she certainly doesn’t know what it means to win or lose a pageant.
Your daughter? Adorable.
Toddlers & Tiaras? Crazy.
The moms that put their daughters through the pageant paces?
(I’ve already been smacked down by Monday’s post. You’re welcome to fill in this blank.)