Tag Archives: Problems

Polly Meets a Hacker

Oh good! You’re all still here! I know it’s only been 24 hours but boy, did I miss you all!

My husband calls me Polly – as in Pollyanna. (But you can still call me Jane.) I truly am a glass is half full kind of gal. I had a root canal a few weeks ago and while the dentist was explaining the pain I’d be in afterwards and how to take the pain meds; I zoned out. I didn’t have any pain or indication that there was even a problem before the root canal. Why would I feel pain after? Oh sure, I expected maybe a little from the injection site for maybe a day. But two weeks? Aching, pounding pain (with no swelling, so don’t worry – it’s not infected). I truly didn’t believe that would happen to me. But I digress…

So I’m very trusting. People talk about identity fraud, how they can’t sell their house, evil computer viruses and I’m sympathetic. But I know that’s not going to happen to me. Did I mention computer viruses? Yep. It happened to me.

Trying to spruce up my home page for this blog I thought I’d try to find a banner that would match the fall season, my new year. I googled “free banners” and found a great looking website with lots of free stuff to make your blog look spectacular. I oooed and ahhed over lots of pretty pictures and finally chose the red Japanese Maple leaves (my favorite tree). Did you see them? If you see them again on a site that offers free stuff click that little x at the top right corner of your screen as fast as you can! Get out of there, woman! Because I’m here to tell ya, I got way more than I paid for.

I used to teach at a school that had a laptop program for its students when having laptops in schools was in its infancy. I taught a seminar at a statewide conference teaching other teachers how to use laptops and the internet in the classrooms. This seminar covered projects, cheating, testing, internet safety and yes, avoiding the dreaded computer virus.

But I was dazzled by the pretty pictures. And did I mention they were free?

I can’t believe I was duped. But as a friend of mine pointed out, how was I to know? There are plenty of other free things out there to download that are perfectly safe. Things that people share out of the goodness of their hearts or egos – but free, nonetheless.

But this is what I don’t get. Why in the world computer geeks out there (don’t be offended – I was once a geek, too. Apparently not anymore, but still, I’m very familiar with the symptoms) create these nuisance viruses? I get wanting to hack into banks, government secret data bases and credit card companies. That criminal behaviour I understand. I don’t condone it, of course, but I get it. But where is the thrill in crashing some stranger’s computer and not even get the satisfaction of seeing the pain you caused – watching me scream in slow mo “Noooooooooooooooooo!” Frantically trying to click an x, a cancel, pressing the escape button over and over and over, shutting down the computer. Getting on my knees praying to the heavens “Please God! Please, I promise. Church EVERY Sunday, I’ll be a better mother – no more Spongebob or marathon xbox sessions so I can have more time to check on my favorite bloggers out there. A homemade dinner (no boxes or mircrowaves) every night most nights.” Holding my breath, covering my eyes as I push the button to re-boot the computer, still praying promising everything I can think of to anyone that is listening and then another slow motion, “Noooooooooooooooooo!” Only softer. Because at this point, I know I’ve been beaten.

It wasn’t a pretty site. And Mr. Hacker? You didn’t even get to witness it. The guy at the computer store won’t even try to identify it. He would try, if I wanted to. But it was going to cost a little more just to satisfy my curiousity and frankly, I don’t want to know that badly. I don’t want to give you the satisfaction of naming your silly, little virus – ok, not so silly. But why? Where is the pleasure in being mean to people you don’t know, have never met and will never see? Ever?

Have I learned my lesson? I actually just snickered out loud. I know myself too well. Nope. I’ll probably still trust too much. Still count on all my stuff being safe on the hard drive – no need to back things up.

And I’m back. On my husband’s laptop. Our, I mean, the kids and my dinosaur hard drive will be back tomorrow. Clean. Healthy. Empty. We’ll spend the day reloading programs. Mourning the loss of all the things I didn’t back up. Did I mention that I never thought this would happen to me?

And you’re still here! Thank you for still visiting my blog even though I was AWOL. After a healthy diet of this for the past three weeks I sure missed you all! I’m going to get a refill on my tea and catch up with all that I missed!

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Filed under Roadblocks

If I Ruled the World

My friends and I will talk about the woes of the world, offer our solution and then laugh, “When I’m Queen….” We tackle some of the world’s biggest problems and often come up with some pretty simple solutions. Or we just completely eliminate issues as if they never existed. Wave our magic wands. Sprinkle the pixie dust. Send out our decree. If only….

If I ruled the world, of course there would be no war or poverty or hunger or disease. That’s a given. But I’d also eliminate deceit and prejudice.

Only people that wanted children would give birth to children. That would eliminate the need for abortion and foster care in one fell swoop.  The job of Stay At Home Mom would be revered. Teachers would rank right up there with doctors. They would be the celebrities of their communities.

And celebrities? They would be entertainers. That’s it. Nothing else. No hanging on their every word, burp or latest visit to Target. If they had something intelligent to say about an issue, we’d listen. Just as we would listen to anyone else who had something intelligent to say. But no more going to world leaders, with their 10th grade education and fishbowl perspective, simply because they won an Academy Award, excelling at their craft of entertaining.

We wouldn’t need to organize Neighborhood Watch because that’s just what good neighbors do. Watch out for each other. Get involved when we see injustice or something suspicious. Look out for each others children and step in with a gentle reminder if your neighbor’s child misbehaves. And the parent would be glad you stepped in and took care of it immediately in their absence. Because, after all, it truly does take a village.

And Neighborhood Watch? Wouldn’t be necessary, of course. No major crimes unit here. Just the occasional teenage prank or mis-step. Because they’re still learning, you know.

We’d encourage our friends and celebrate their successes. No more jonesing for the Joneses.

No waste. We’d grow only what we could eat. We’d all recycle. We’d buy only what we needed. And we wouldn’t need too much because no one’s looking to see if you wore that dress at the last party, or if your son’s pants are hand-me-downs. No one cares because it’s what’s inside that counts.

Ok. So it’s a bit sappy. Pollyanna. Glass half full. Resemble a Disney movie you saw recently. But that’s the kind of world I’d love to live in. I’ll take sappy over scary any day of the week.

Yep. If I ruled the world……if only.

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Filed under Problems