Tag Archives: search

It’s Share Your Crazy Search Engine Terms Day!

The day you’ve all been waiting for! I’ve had some doozies. And many of them I have NO idea how they led poor souls to MY blog. Without further ado, here are mine. I can’t wait to hear yours!

This all started when I came across a search term that led someone to my blog, “Wrinkled Boobs.” Are you kidding me? Who searches for wrinkled boobs? And since that post here are some variations that have led people here: wrinked bobbs, wringled boobs, boobs right, boobs left. Boobs left and right? Seriously, there are a lot of boobs people out there that are obsessed with boobs.

turtle poop – I know exactly which post they were directed to: here. But what baffles me is why anyone would Google turtle poop.

Hey, I’m going away but I got something – Huh? This has got to be lyrics to a song or something.

(my daughter’s nickname which is fairly unique) – And it freaked me out. Her nickname is VERY unique and I found out it was attached to a photo I used of her which I quickly renamed.

dirty mom son –Ewwwwww. Just Ewwwwww.

mom getting dirty with son and girlfriend – Double ewwwww!

kids clack – Huh? Just huh?

dirty fat moms – Hey! Who you callin’ fat, Willis?

top ten reasons you might be a jedi redneck – Someone actually knows that it’s possible and then even cares about being a jedi redneck. That astounds me.

Ok. So let’s hear yours. You can leave it in the comment section here OR if you’ve written a post on it as well, make sure you link it in the comment section so we can all take a look. Thanks for playing!

(We just found out my daughter’s team has a very good chance of advancing to finals in the State Championships. If that happens I won’t be able to check in with you all until sometime Saturday. I’ll miss you all but can’t wait to read what you’ve come up with! See you soon and wish us luck!)

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Filed under funny

Get Your Wrinkled Boobs Right Here At Theycallmejane’s Blog! Hurry! Get ‘Em While They Last!

Ok. That does it. Wrinkled Boobs. You heard me right. Somebody searched for wrinkled boobs and they were directed to my blog. First of all, wrinkled boobs? Are you kidding me? Why? Why in God’s name are you searching wrinkled boobs? I can’t stop giggling. That is just weirder than weird. Second, why in the world were you directed to my blog? I can’t, for the life of me, figure out what I could have possibly written that had both wrinkled and boobs in it.

We all tossed around this idea before and I’m just making it official….I have an assignment for all of you out there: Over the next week start collecting your strangest, wildest search engine terms – the terms people used to find your blog. On Friday, November 13 let’s all meet back here and share. I’ll post some of my crazy ones and you can leave a comment posting yours. Or, if you’ve written about it, as well, please comment here so we can run over to your blog and check it out. If you can figure out which post it may have referred to – go ahead and include that as well.

This should be very entertaining! I’m looking forward to seeing what pops up!

(Update: If you Google “wrinkled boobs” 1.1 million results pop up and I’m #1!)

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Filed under funny

What To Do When You’re At A Loss For Words? Play Around With Google, Of Course!

I was in the habit of writing posts when the mood struck (which was often) and then scheduling them to be posted. I was getting so ahead of myself my body had a hard time keeping up with my brain. My brain was already wearing tomorrow’s outfit and my body was taking off my shoes from the day before. Posts were just spilling out of my head and onto the keyboard. I was more than a week ahead of myself.

Until now.

 I just realized I had nothin’. Not a thing scheduled for tomorrow.

The little angel on my right shoulder said, “Come on, now. You can do it. Just cozy up to the keyboard and write. You have so many wonderful things to say.”

The little devil on my left shoulder said, “Awwww, skip it. Who really looks in on you daily, anyway? Just those weirdos searching for moms doin’ dirty things. Go downstairs, open up the Halloween candy a little early (ok, it’s already open…you caught me) and watch one of the 100 shows you have TiVo’d.”

The little angel on the right shoulder said, “No. Your public awaits. They’ll be so sad to have to look at yesterday’s post all over again. You MUST add something new!”

The little devil on the left shoulder said, “Mmmmmm…some chocolate sure sounds good right about now.”

Guess who won?

Hey! Ye of little faith….read on.

For inspiration I decided to Google “top ten reasons for….,” just for kicks and giggles, to see what comes up. Among the suggestions were “Top ten reasons for divorce” Intriguing. So I clicked it. There were 2, 360, ooo hits. Quite a lot of people pondering that issue. I decided to investigate other reasons for top ten lists. Below are the rest of my findings.

Top Ten Reasons Sarah Palin Resigned – 164,000,000. That’s million. Are you kidding me? I had no idea that many people cared.

Top Ten Reasons to Date a Wrestler – only 272,000 results. I betcha I can think of #272,001.

Top Ten Reasons for Getting Fired – over 1,000,000 results. There are articles on the reasons, the causes. There’s even articles on warning signs. Thank God I’m a SAHM. Job security is lookin’ pretty great right about now.

Top Ten Reasons You Might Be A Jedi Redneck – Really. I can’t make this up. Approximately 2,950 hits for this search. Now, I know Jedis. (My husband is a big Star Wars fan) And I know rednecks. (I live in the southern United States). But how do the twain meet? How, I ask you?

Top Ten Reasons I Procrastinate – Only 102,000 hits there. Come. On. Now! Procrastination is an art form, carefully crafted by many. Only 102,000 hits? We got a lot of people in denial out there, and I ain’t talkin’ about a swim down a famous river.

Top Ten Reasons Against Evolution – First of all, against? Like it’s a choice? Ok, so the number of results? 2, 960,000. Almost 3 million.

Top Ten Reasons for Bathing – Only 177,000. I thought I smelled something funny.

Top Ten Reasons Couples Fight – There were 2, 540,000 results for that. I bet my husband and I could add a few more.

Top Ten Reasons Gay Marriage Is Wrong – Another 2 million plus results. Someone tell me why we’re spending any time on this issue? Really? Behind closed doors. Consenting adults. Doesn’t affect my taxes. Two people love each other. Oooooooooo. Scary.

Top Ten Reasons Men Are Better Than Women – 3, 220,000 results. And the Top Ten Reasons Women Are Better Than Men? 29, 400,000. Let me say that again, gentlemen. Twenty nine million, four hundred thousand. Somebody’s got some catching up to do!

Top Ten Reasons Not to Get a Toller – What the heck is a toller? There were only 4,040 hits. So I’m not the only one who is in the dark on that one.

Top Ten Reasons to Vote Democrat –  There were 2, 010,000 results.  But only 1.4 million hits to vote republican. Hmmmmm.

Top Ten Reasons Why I Love You – 45,000,000. But that must be a typo. Surely there are more hits out there? Because love is what makes the world go round. And I just want to shout out to all of you out there,  I LOVE YOU! (You’re the best. You really are. Now, go hug someone.)

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Filed under funny, Lessons Learned

Mom Gettin’ Dirty With…..HUH?!?!?

I still don’t have all of this blog stuff figured out. But I’m learning something new every day and that’s a good thing. In WordPress, which is where you are this very minute, I have a Dashboard and a Blog Stats page. On these pages I can find out interesting facts, statistics, if you will, about my blog. I’m not terribly obsessive but I DO like numbers. My husband calls me “The Woman Who Counted,” after the book “The Man Who Counted” by Malba Tahan (great book, by the way!). But I digress….you’re used to this by now, right? Anyhoo….

I’m continually intrigued by the kind of posts that garner the most views. Hot topics – people like. Boring pictures (which I like) or music videos? Not so much. When I write for myself, I have about an 80% approval rate from you all. Not that I’m trying to gain approval. But I’m glad I inspire some of you to think out of the box. I’m not trying to win any rewards, although that IS nice, so thank you Robin and Felicia. I enjoy sharing my thoughts. Reaching out to people I might not otherwise reach. Meeting new people and discovering new ideas. Tackling new terrain. I enjoy being pushed a little out of my comfort zone, a little being the operative phrase.  

But this? This is a bit too far out of my comfort zone. Ok. A Lot out of my comfort zone. Uh-uh. No Way! This is a bit creepy.

On my stats page there is a little section called Search Engine Terms: These are terms people used to find your blog. “The skinny kid anorexia” – Ok, that was probably from the post I did about average being beautiful.   “Peanut butter no bake cookies” – a recipe post about one of my favorite cooking memories. “Turtle good feng shui” – the picture post about our turtle visitor. “Rest in Peace” – the recent post when we found out my daughter’s boyfriend just died. But this next one? I’m already getting the heebie jeebies…..

Are you ready?

Ok…..wait for it….wait for it….and shoo the kids out of the room while you’re at it….

**holding my breath**

“Mother getting dirty with son and girlfr”

EWWWWWWWW. Seriously? And one of MY posts popped up? Which one? It’s gotta be this one: Son Drops the “S” Word! Queen Mother of Dirty Words! (To a 6 yr. old, that is) . It has the word son, mother and dirty all in the title. So some sicko, searching about getting dirty with mothers, sons and their girlfrs (what IS a girlfr, anyway? 1/2 a girlfriend?).  Ewwwww. And then they clicked on my blog hoping to find some hot fun but they found a mundane story about my 6 yr. old.  I’m sure I disappointed them. But did they not read the entire title and then just look away?

So I’m warning all of you out there. If you don’t want weirdos (of the strange, sick variety of course, not cute, quirky, loveable weirdos like me) stalking your pages, be careful! Use your words wisely. Clever titles sometimes equal creepy search engine fodder.

I’m still a little disturbed…..creeped out…..

Oh, I feel so used.

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Filed under Lessons Learned