Jane’s True Confessions Or Secrets That Aren’t Secrets Anymore

1. I have pre-dated posts  in order to create certain patterns on my homepage calendar that highlights post dates. (For any fellow OCD bloggers out there, this sentence makes perfect sense.)

2. I let the television babysit my children from time to time. Ok. More often than I’d like to admit. (Wait. I just admitted it, didn’t I?)

3. Yep. I’m that lazy mom that forgot to send in the two dozen baked goods, individually wrapped, for the Fall Festival this year. And not for just one kid. For two. Yep. That’s me. Oh. And I didn’t sign up to volunteer for the booths, either. (What is wrong with me?)

4. Oh, yeah. And I’m also the mom that forgot to send $1 with my kids to school for Hat Day raising money for Breast Cancer Awareness and Research. (Boy, I suck.)

5. I throw together a bunch of pre-prepared stuff (canned soup, frozen vegetables, grilled chicken in shrink-wrap packages) and pass it off as homemade to my husband and call it one of my creations. (God, I hope he doesn’t read this!)

6. I have regrets. I wish I didn’t. But I do. And I can’t seem to shake them off. Like #7….

7. I really messed up. I wish I could do it all over again, but I can’t. I’m so sorry I xxxxxxxxx. I didn’t mean to xxxxxxx. But I did. And for that, I’m truly sorry. (I’m so glad I got that off my chest.)

8.  My teen thinks that I don’t know things that I do. She forgets that I was a college freshman once, too. Yep. I know what is going on in your dorm room, on the weekends, in and out of class. I know. And I’m not saying one thing. Nope. Nada. Nothin’. My lips are sealed. I can play dumb like the best of ’em.

9. I hide my favorite ice cream (Ben & Jerry’s) on the second to last shelf of the freezer. Hidden under bags of vegetables.

10. I love all the faithful, amazing, wonderful readers I have out there who read me more than I read them. I haven’t been much of a reader lately. My life has been a bit topsy-turvy. But I love you all, just the same.

Ok.

That wasn’t much of a confession.

But I had to say it.

I do.

Love you all.

Jane Comes Out Of The Closet And Then, She Confesses

Wait.

Reverse that.

First, I’m going to confess. Then we’ll get to that other thing.

Remember that RAOK post that garnered so much attention? And then I commented on the comments and challenged myself to take it a step further?

Well. I slept on it. And in the morning my challenge sounded a bit….impossible. And improbable. 

Let me explain.

I decided, in my spontaneous and do-gooder charged wisdom, to attempt a random act of kindness every day (or at least weekly) and then post about it on a separate tab on my blog.

Sounded good at the time.

And then I thought…how random is random if I’m planning on doing it?  And what if, by 10 o’clock at night, when I’m tired and spent and ready to go to bed, I haven’t done anything especially random? What about all the other kind activities I do daily, without even thinking about it? Helping a woman with a stroller or holding doors open or reaching something high on a shelf for someone in the grocery store or the random snail mail cards I send to friends and family far away or letting that poor woman with five kids go ahead of me at Target because I’ve managed to procure a blissful hour alone to shop?

That’s my life. I do little bits of random every single day.

Or what about the bigger acts of kindness that I participate in? Volunteering at my kid’s school. Making dinner for someone who: had a recent death in the family, had a baby, extended illness, just moved to the neighborhood or is moving away. Watching out for an elderly neighbor. Or, how, whenever we bake I always split it and share with a neighbor or friend.

A dear neighbor recently said to me, “I can always count on you!” And she’s right. I may not always have my full heart into it (because I’m human and have a busy, full life) but I find it very difficult to say “no” to someone in need.

And then I started thinking about the two or three comments (out of 200) that criticized my good deed. (Isn’t it funny how we always focus on the negative no matter how inconsequential they may be?)  They felt that forking over $3.18 to “help” someone who was already prepared to fork over $3.18 for an overpriced coffee was self-indulgent and frivolous. That it only made the giver feel good about giving something that wasn’t necessary in the first place. Do I really want to invite more criticism, no matter how far and few between?

And that mildly annoyed me. Because we ‘re talking about kindness. Bringing a smile to a stranger’s face. Who cares if the person was prepared to pay for it anyway? I know, when it happened to me in the drive-thru – when some sweet woman paid for my coffee three summers ago and the cashier handed me  a “Moms Rock!” scribbled on a napkin as way of explanation from the anonymous giver, I looked in the rearview mirror at my feisty, fighting 3 and 4-year-old boys and thought, “Thank you, dear sweet woman for a little joy today!”

Which brings me to this.

Joy.

One of you out there once told me that some weeks, it’s hard to find joy. I thought, oh goodness, how sad. A whole week without joy. I find joy in every day – no matter how small. I’m not saying it’s easy. Some days I have to look. Real hard. But I find it. So, I challenged myself to document joy every day.

And I’m doing that……here. At Every Day Joy. Have been for 251 days now. I’ve kept it very, very quiet. I’ve been doing it for me. To make sure that every day I stop and recognize the bounty that is my life. I’m only sharing it here with you now to say….

Random acts of kindness should be random. I shouldn’t plan for it. I shouldn’t schedule them.

And that challenge to myself helped me to take stock of my life and realize each day is chock full to the brim. With taking care of children and a husband. With lots of dear friends and some family. I try, each day, to be thoughtful, compassionate and considerate.  I practice kindness. Both deliberately and randomly. Both have their place and purpose.

There it is. Out of the closet.

I say things I sometimes have to take back.

And.

I have a quiet, secret little blog about celebrating joy.

That’s not so secret anymore.

The Not-So-Secret Ingredient

One of my hobbies is cooking. I wish it were something I appreciated and enjoyed when my grandmothers were alive because they each had some amazing recipes, techniques and food stories I would so enjoy learning about today. I watch cooking shows. I sit down and just read cookbooks. Friends and family seem to enjoy what I prepare. And I receive requests for certain specialties.

One of my specialties is my cranberry relish. My family requests it at every holiday. My sister and I love it when there are leftovers. We sit together at the kitchen table, each with a spoon, and share the bowl, all on its own.

My mother doesn’t enjoy cooking. She’s not a bad cook – it just isn’t her thing. Every time she asks me to share the recipe (which I know she’ll never make)  I say, “No. It’s a family secret.” Of course, I’m teasing. She argues that she IS family. She tries to get it from other family members. And she spends time guessing what is in it. She gets all of the ingredients right, except for one. Now I’ve shared this recipe with other members of the family; all people I know will make it themselves. I’ve even given it to fundraiser cookbooks for our school and church. It’s not a very complicated recipe. Just very, very yummy. My mother has watched me make it before. She’s even seen the “secret” ingredient as I’ve chopped it up and put it in the bowl. But, still, she pretends to forget what it is and we do the dance all over again when we’re eating our turkey or ham and the bowl gets passed around and is practically licked clean.

The funny thing about this recipe is it used to be much more complicated. But one particular holiday I was visiting my sister and things were crazy. Between the two of us we had 4 children running around under the age of 5. Our husbands were out doing guy things. We had so many people coming over and I decided to take a major short cut. I would use canned whole cranberry sauce (horrors!) instead of starting from scratch. That particular year there were no leftovers. Everyone claimed it was the best batch ever. I’ve never gone back.

 

1. Open up a can of whole cranberry sauce. Pour into bowl.

2. Add to the bowl: 1 finely chopped thin skinned orange (the whole orange, including the skin. If your skin is a little thick just add less skin), 1 cup golden raisins…..and for the not-so-secret-ingredient….2-3 T. finely chopped crystallized ginger (to taste — I like more rather than less).

3. Mix well and refrigerate for 24 hours. This step is very important as it allows all the flavors to meld.

4. Enjoy! We serve this all year round with turkey, ham, roast chicken and pork.

(The inspiration for this post came from this wonderful blog: http://countryfriedmama.com/)