Tag Archives: semantics

Office Jane, Semantics Policewoman, Issues A Stern Warning

I was waiting for my daughter. A potty break. The line was long and I was good. So, I waited outside.

And I saw a man, about 40 years old,  wearing a t-shirt similar to this one:

I have two young sons. And I watch a lot of crime television. I was a bit creeped out by this statement.

But this seemed like a very nice man. Standing with his party. A group of  mostly men, a couple of women. Talking. Laughing.

I thought, surely there is more to this shirt. Something I’m missing. As casually as I could, I circled the group, hoping to catch a glimpse of the back of his shirt. Something to clue me in on the joke. Nothing. Nada.

And then I remembered. It’s Gay Days here at Walt Disney World. He’s gay. (Lightbulb blinking, ding-ding-ding ringing through my brain) I’m feeling a bit stupid now.

But then, in the next moment, I’m not feeling so stupid. He’s 40 years old. What he means to say, at least I hope he means to say: “Likes Men.” Because he’s a man. Not a boy. And liking boys when you’re a man is creepy.

I don’t mind being at Disney World during Gay Days. The hoopla that has surrounded this non-Disney sponsored event is just short of ridiculous. (But more on that later.) I don’t mind some of the in-your-face public displays – as long as they’re tasteful and no more obnoxious that what the heterosexual crowd can legally dish out.

And when my boys are adults? I hope they are so comfortable with who they are that they feel comfortable displaying their preferences, their legal-consenting-adult preferences, on a t-shirt.

But wearing a t-shirt that says “Likes Boys” where you’re a grown man? Creepy.

But then, I’m the mother of two young boys. Maybe I’m taking this a step too far.

And maybe I watch too many crime shows.

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Filed under Observations

Yell At Me, OK?

I love words. I love the sound of certain words. I love the way words string together and mean so many different things. My husband calls me The Queen of Syntax. He complains that I get lost in semantics.

So, sue me. It’s my character flaw.

And I own it.

The other day my husband took a quick break from doing yard work and said to me, “I have Tai Chi class at 7pm. I’m not finished in the yard.  Could you yell at me at 6?”

Ummmmm. Sure.

At the appointed hour I stood on our back porch.

“Hey!” I yelled, “I’ve asked you a hundred times to put the suitcases in the basement! And your tools have been sitting on top of the dryer for a month! Put them away NOW, you slob!”

He doubled over in laughter.

(Oh no. What will the neighbors think?)

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Filed under funny, Words