Jane Readjusts Her Halo And Sets The Record Straight

I can breathe again! My little blog traffic graph is settling into its familiar groove. All of you have more elbow room when you enter my humble blog.

Ahhhh….Stretch out people! Relax!

For my dear, regular readers, I don’t think I have to explain my sense of humor. You were all keenly aware of yesterday’s tongue in cheek title, “Jane Finds God…” and my later quip, “God? Who is this God of which you speak?”

For my dear, new readers…..lemme ‘splain somethin’ to ya’…..

I am spiritual. I do believe in God. I go to church. I pray. I pray a lot. It’s what I do.

I do not go to any one church all the time.  I’ve been known to go to a synagogue. I’ve set foot in a mosque. I have a healthy curiosity in all spiritual choices and am continually questioning my own.

However, I don’t go into much of my beliefs here, on this blog. “Why?” you ask (halo tilted, pointing out scripture that says I should proclaim my faith from the rooftops). Because. I can’t. I won’t. And you can’t make me.

My husband calls me a “cherry picker” when it comes to my beliefs. I pick what I like and I skip over what I don’t feel comfortable with. Proselytizing is not something I can do. And you won’t find any of that here.

Your well-intentioned emails to me are appreciated. It’s kind of you to be worried for my soul. But have no fear. The God I believe in doesn’t give a wit if I sing his praises publicly or not.

But the reactions to my post yesterday have reminded me of comments made earlier on my blog (“I know you don’t believe in God but…”) and have re-stirred a curiosity that follows me in life (and I suspect, in my bloggy neighborhood.)

I tend to attract people who are either deeply religious (who later dump me when they find out they can’t convert me to THEIR religion) or agnostic/atheist. I have some friends in between but the two extremes are the ones who stand out.

The deeply religious cling to me (at first) because I’m a pretty moral, ethical person. OK. I’m a goody-goody. Fine. I’m Miss Polly Purebred. (There. I said it.) But lest you think I’m perfect, please, speak to my husband. He’ll confirm I am far from it.

That said, I still hate it that my neighbor steals course time on the golf course and leers after my daughter (the leering being the biggest irritation, of course.) I don’t drink very much. In fact, I’m a light weight. One glass of wine is tops for me – unless you want to see me without a top, which you don’t. Trust me. I’ve never smoked. And I’ve never tried illicit drugs.

But then, the deeply religious find out that I don’t care if other people drink. I think marijuana should be legal. I struggle with the death penalty and would never judge a woman for her choice in her right to choose.

With my agnostic/atheist friends? I think they’re just plain relieved that I’m not going to try to convert them and I accept them for who they are.

“One mountain, many paths.” It takes all kinds to make the world go ’round. In the huge scheme of things I suppose I really do like it that there are people out there stealing golf course time (although I could do without the leering). It challenges me to question, strengthen or change my belief system.

I want people in my life or at my blog who believe different things. I embrace those that live their life differently from mine. My regular readers are a crazy, amazing, interesting, fascinating bunch of souls. We have created our own sanctuary where all opinions matter and have relevance.

And you’re welcome to join in the fray. There are no dues, no rules, no attendance requirements. The only thing we won’t tolerate here is mean-spiritedness.

Oh, but you must leave comments. Because everyone loves comments.

Tunes for Tuesday Confessional

I was raised Catholic. I’m not the church-goer I used to be but I find comfort in going to mass once in a while. And I don’t have to go to mass. I can visit a Methodist church, synagogue, Unitarian, Buddhist – it doesn’t matter to me. As long as I am moved spiritually and encouraged to think and grow as a spiritual being I don’t care where I go to church. And that frustrates my church going friends. I live in America’s Bible Belt. I have friends that want me to visit their church. One of the third or fourth questions you’re asked when you meet someone new is, “Where do you go to church?” I always give an answer (usually where ever I went last) – and then mentally file away the information not to discuss religion with that person.

And I’ve been fairly careful here not to discuss religion. I don’t like to discuss it, frankly. I have such a broad view that I offend people. Seriously. How could I possibly offend people if I have a broad view, you ask? It seems everyone wants me to narrow my view. Be more rigid in my beliefs. But I believe “One mountain, many paths.” I think I can get something from a whole host of religions out there. I’m open enough to visit them. Read their books. I’m careful. I stay away from anything “cultish.”

Quite honestly, I think man has tainted what God intended.

Last week, I posted my top 20 songs on my iPod. The playlist is really 25. And I very conveniently left off 5 songs. Five songs that might tag me as a “bible thumper,” “holy roller, ” “religious nut.” I’ve promised good, honest writing here on my blog. I wasn’t very honest last week. I’m fixing that now.

The Five Songs Left Off My Playlist

5. …And I Pray – Matt Perrone – I love this song. It reminds me that there is something bigger than me. Bigger than I’ll ever comprehend. And that prayer, even when it doesn’t seem to work, is necessary – for me, anyway. Prayer keeps me grounded.

4. Hallelujah – Rufus Wainwright – Not exactly a religious song. Not really. But I thought the title might throw you – especially sharing company with the other four songs on this list.

3. Holy Lamb – Yes – A hopeful, loving, beautiful song celebrating life, nature, children, love. So hopeful. I adore this song.

2. Heaven – Live – I love the message in this song. “I don’t need no one to tell me about heaven/I look at my daughter and I believe/I don’t need no proof when it comes to God and truth/I can see the sunset and I perceive”

and the number one song (that actually hold the #4 place on my list)……

1. When the Saints – Sara Groves – This song keeps me on track. It reminds me to do right. No matter what the cost. I can handle whatever life throws me. And I have the strength to take the tougher road. Because, “when the saints go marching in, I want to be one of them.”

O.K. So, there you have it. The whole truth. Please absolve me of my sin. I’ve confessed to leaving out a part of me because I was afraid of criticism. I was afraid of offending someone. But the complete list is a part of me. Every song. Not just the secular ones. Not just the safe ones. Last week I was experiencing a moment of weakness that I’m trying to rectify.  

Deep breath.

 Throw your stones or roses – I’m ready.