Tag Archives: status

Facebook Status Updates I Wish I Had The Guts To Post

  1. I’m just a lazy @$$, sitting on my couch eating Cheetos and watching TV while the rest of you are running marathons and getting your best time. Ever!
  2. You have your health, a job, your kids aren’t doing drugs and your husband is faithful. Quit your whining!
  3. What a busy weekend! There isn’t enough room to list all the parties I was invited to and you weren’t!
  4. I honestly don’t care about what computer game you are playing or what your top score is.
  5. If you just posted that you’re at the local pub, the newest gourmet cafe or snazzy boutique and you didn’t ask me to come along? Please. Just stop typing.
  6. I’m in the grocery line. The woman in front of me is paying with coupons and exact change. I forgot laundry soap. I don’t want to get out of line. Still waiting for the lady in front of me. Boy, I’m so hungry. Oh yay! It’s my turn. Great. There’s a price check. So, I’m still waiting. Is this boring for you? Yep. Me, too.
  7. You’re having a fight with your boyfriend. Fine. I get it. It happens to all of us. But if you’re not going to tell HIM how you feel, please don’t tell all of us.
  8. Just a little unsolisited advise. Their is no spellchek or grammer chek on Facebook. Proof you’re posts.
  9. Boundaries people! I don’t want to hear about your day 0n the toilet.
  10. OMG. If you have time to post your time at the 1/2 way mark of your marathon maybe you should put the phone down and try to beat the course record. You might have more to brag about at the end of your race. Just sayin’.

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