Tag Archives: teens

Latest YouTube Trend Smacks Of Bullying. And It Must Be Stopped.

This latest YouTube trend must be stopped. Mothers of daughters (and sons — because I’m sure an off-shoot or similar video is on its way), please be aware of what your child is posting online.

Read this article here about teens posting videos of themselves and then asking viewers to comment if they are ugly, pretty, fat or thin. You can imagine the majority of the comments are not very nice. It smacks of anonymous bullying to me. It must be stopped. But how?

I have no answers. Just posting this to make other parents aware.

Even if it just opens dialogue between you and your child. At least that’s a start.

Addendum: I just saw this article online about boys and anorexia, which apparently, doctors are seeing more of. This is so depressing. Excuse me while I turn off the computer for awhile.

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Filed under Be-Causes

Spotting Signs Of The Ever Elusive Teenager

If you have a teenager in your home (or you think you do) you know what I’m talking about….

After a long, hard day you clean the kitchen after dinner. The dishwasher is humming. The leftovers are safely tucked away in the refrigerator. The counters shine and the sink sparkles. Passing through the kitchen on your way to bed you smile and admire your handy work. And then, you wake up in the morning and you find this…

Or, after dropping your two youngest off at school and running errands all morning you come back to the house, hoping to enjoy a few minutes of peace before school is out and a whole new set of chores will be begging your attention. And you find this blocking your way…

And then, of course, there are the times when you find little notes like this one on your kitchen table…

Yep. That’s when you know you have a teenager in the house. And I wouldn’t want it any other way!

Meet my elusive teen! She’s my !!! for this week!

For more !!! visit Momalom or Bad Mommy Moments.

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Filed under The !!!

Gimme Chemicals! I Have A Teenager!

Need I say more?

And the sad things is, she’s an awesome teenager. (Knocking on everything wood in sight) We’ve had a few, a tiny few troublesome incidents with her. So few, in fact, that I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Why is it sad that she’s an awesome teenager? Because I’m beginning to realize that there are parents out there who are way more stressed than I am. And I can’t imagine going through more.

My troubles include:

  • an A-B student, taking Advanced Placement and honors courses, who is perfectly fine with getting C’s if she doesn’t like the teacher, the assignment, her seat next to the door, or  the temperature outside that day.
  • a teen who chooses high school football games, dances and other activities over studying for exams next week
  • a child who has to be reminded and reminded and reminded to do the few chores we ask her to do
  • a senior in high school who knows she’s going to college but doesn’t want to actively participate in the process. She tosses all brochures into the circular file, with her mind already made up to go to the easiest state school that’ll take her.
  • a spendthrift who never budgets for gas for the car she uses or lunch at school. When I hand over her allowance that is supposed to cover more than one item, she blows it in one day at the mall – and no, her purchases don’t include anything she needed in the first place.

I know. Pull out your violins. Cry me a river. I have it so tough.

But I’m stuck. How in the world do you teach responsibility, dedication, discipline? At her age I was the one applying to schools, begging my parents to consider the school of my choice – with them shaking their head no, and telling me I would go to the university right next door. I just want for her what I couldn’t have at her age. But she doesn’t seem to want more.

I want her to want more. So how do you teach ambition or drive? How do you push without pushing too hard?

On the other hand:

  • You tell her to be ready by a certain time? She’s rarely (if ever) late. Punctual to a fault.
  • You ask her to help you with something? I can count on one hand how many times she’s given me attitude. She is almost always willing to chip in – well, that is, if it isn’t already on her chore list.
  • As much as we’ve been at odds she hates leaving the house or going to bed at night without us resolving the conflict. I hate to admit it, but she’s usually the one that makes me talk it out with her until we can hug…and mean it.
  • When her money just flies out of her purse, it’s often to buy something for someone else. She is very, very generous.
  • She still wants to spend time with us. Whether it’s to watch Masterpiece Theater with me, go out for sushi with her dad, take the boys to the park or out for ice cream or a family hike – she is eager to go and will switch her schedule to make time for us.

But some days. Some nights. I’ve had it with the struggle of the week. And you parents with more struggles than mine? You need this song more than I do. So crank it up. Shake your head. And scream it so the neighbors hear! (Well, maybe not that loud. Wouldn’t want a visit from the men in white now would we?)

Disclaimer: I have no idea what kind of chemicals The Pink Spiders are speaking of. The chemicals I crave come in red and white Coca Cola cans, Ben & Jerry’s ice cream tubs and those brown and yellow packages carrying plain and peanut m&m’s. THOSE kind of chemicals.

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Filed under Music, parenting

My Life In Sound Bites

#2son – Mom? I’m going to be rich when I grow up.

Jane – Sweetie, the most important thing is that you’re happy.

#2son – Well, I’m sure going to be happy when I’m rich.

(sigh)

________

#1daughter – You just don’t get it, Mom. Just leave me alone!

(Jane turns to walk away)

#1daughter – Noooo! (reaching out with both arms) Don’t go!!!

________

(And on a more serious note…)

(Upon seeing the cover of the latest Time magazine at Barnes and Noble two days ago. Please go here to view , if you haven’t seen it already. I’ve decided I don’t want that distressing picture on this post today.)

Husband – You know, the same people who are protesting our involvement in Iraq and Afghanistan are the same people who would be up in arms if we weren’t there ‘doing something’ about the appalling and horrific treatment of women. It’s a mess either way.

 ________

Don’t forget! Write your post about blogging to help me celebrate my one year in Blog World. We’ll all meet back here in 10 days to link, learn and maybe have a few laughs!

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Filed under All In A Day's Work, Be-Causes, children, Observations

SMH and LOL at Internet Speak

There is a whole world out there, a whole language in which I feel woefully inadequate.

That would be internet-land and its language.

My daughter is always laughing at my ineptitude.

“GBH & K!” she yells to me, running out the door. (Great big hugs and kisses)

I stand there, looking mystified, as I try to figure out the latest abbreviation.

“Oh! H&K, too!” I shout. But she’s already out of sight.

My daughter is so good at KPC. (Keeping parents clueless) Just when I think I’ve got it she throws a new one at me.

KWIM was her favorite for a long time. And she’d pronounce it, like it was a word. “Kwim?” she’d ask. (Know what I mean?)

Or “ADK!” she’d roll her eyes, exasperated with her little brother putting on his shoes. (Any day now)

I never really worried about her on the internet. I should have. I know the dangers. I used to teach at one of the first laptop high schools in our state. I felt more comfortable when I was teaching. My students would share with me things they’d never tell their parents.

But  now, my daughter is old enough (almost 18) and savvy enough (everything is password protected) that I have very little control over what she is doing. Oh sure, I could use spyware, and in my defense, we’ve only recently cut the majority of the apron strings. But she’s going to be in college classes this fall. (dual enrollment with her high school and the local college) And out of the house next year. You’ve got to start somewhere.

It’s too late for me. And my daughter thinks chatrooms are “lame.” But texting is ripe with abbreviations. Some are funny. Some not so funny.

Funny

ROFLAPMP = Rolling on floor laughing and peed my pants

HMS = Home made smiley

BUDWEISER = Because you deserve what every individual should ever receive

100 = Nature calls/Pitstop

FAAK = Falling asleep at keyboard

Not So Funny

PAW = Parents are watching

TAW = Teachers are watching

MOS = Mom over shoulder

LMIRL = Let’s meet in real life

NIFOC = Naked in front of computer

The internet is an amazing, wonderful and scary tool. In my day, we passed notes in class with the frightening chance that a teacher (or the boy we’re mooning over) might find it. Today? There’s text, chat, email – instantaneous communication that can be intercepted, sent to the wrong person, or allow you to come in contact with very scary people two states away without your parents ever having a clue.

SMH over here. (Shaking my head)

I’m not LOL anymore.

(Update: Ok. Things just got scarier. After reading some of your comments I decided to add a few reference lists so you, too, could educate yourself on internet abbreviations every parent should know. Down right frightening! But so important that we try to keep up! Check out: Top 50 Internet Acronyms Parents Need to Know and 99 texting acronyms you (and every other parent) should know)

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Filed under children, Lessons Learned