Did you ever have one of those moments?
You do a double take when you see a glimpse of your life. You thought things were one way and they are another.
My life has been filled with those moments in the past month. With friends. With family. It’s been unsettling.
Do you see a city scape? Something else?
Is she just not that in to you? Does he really listen when you speak? Does she have an ulterior motive? Can you really trust him? Are you about to be blindsided?
Unsettling moments. Uncomfortable moments. And I’ve handled them.
On the outside I’ve blown off, shrugged off, wiped up and kissed.
On the inside I’m questioning, wondering, pining for and spent.
Just when I think I’ve got her pegged. Just when I think I can handle anything they can throw at me. That’s when it happens. Something out of left field. Something I could have never anticipated.
I’m thrown for a loop again. I feel like Charlie Brown with Lucy pulling the football away at just the last second.
That’s how I’ve felt lately.
It’s times like these that I want to become a hermit. Pack up my essentials. Sell my other worldly goods and find a tiny, quaint (very clean) cabin at some remote location. Close enough to a town with a grocery store, hardware store and a library. A town where the locals value privacy, courtesy and kindness.
Self reliance. Become a modern-day Emerson.
“Society everywhere is in conspiracy against the manhood of every one of its members.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
That about sums it up.
Well said, Ralph. Well said.