Jane (With The Help of Fran Lebowitz) Comments On Bloggers. And It Isn’t Always Pretty.

“Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications.” ~Fran Lebowitz

 

HBO is featuring a delightful and entertaining documentary on Fran Lebowitz entitled “Public Speaking,” directed by Martin Scorsese. She has much to say on many things. But the comment that I have been pondering for days is her view that writers need narcissism in order to write.

Some writers, of course, are more narcissistic than others. As are some bloggers, I’ve found.

 

“When Toni Morrison said ‘write the book you want to read,’ she didn’t mean everybody.” ~Fran Lebowitz

The problem with the Blog World is that anyone with a computer and an internet connection can blog. The wonder of Blog World is that anyone with a computer and an internet connection can blog.

 

I’m conflicted, as you can plainly see.

Just as there are better novelists out there, there are better bloggers. Better. Different. Some interesting. Some less so. There is a delightful array of blogs from which to choose. Different strokes for different folks.

But each and every blog contains a little of the same thing. Self-absorption.

“Too many people are writing books.” Why is this?  “Because you have been taught to have self-esteem.” ~Fran Lebowitz

We all have something to say. We all say it, here on our blogs. Is it worth saying? That lies, my friend, is in the eye of the beholder.

Frankly, it amazes me sometimes, at the perceived (my perception) popularity of some bloggers. I measure popularity based on the number of comments, or advertised hits on a blog. I’m sure you’ve noticed but some mediocre writing is getting lots of attention.

And then there are the blogs I follow that inspire me. Where the writing is fresh and interesting. If you measured some of their popularity by the same parameters? They land in the uncool category, for sure.

We all possess, at least an inkling, a notion that someone out there, anyone out there, wants to read what we’ve written. Some of us find more readers than others. Some of us need more readers than others (as evidenced by the many contests decorating so many blogs). The trick is finding the balance. We need to find what a healthy, rational psyche can thrive on – a blogging balance that feeds our need to put our thoughts out there and validate our thoughts at the same time.  We must avoid the trap that false validation can bring and ground ourselves. Know that you aren’t going to please or entertain or inspire all of the people all of the time. And that’s OK.

The number of followers you have does not assure you a higher seat in Bloggers Heaven.

“Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort. If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass.”~Fran Lebowitz

As much as her comment gives me a chuckle, deep down, I disagree. I’m glad the internet is limitless. I’m happy to have found Blog World. I’m glad I’ve found a place of my own. I enjoy the variety of bloggers out there. The amazing writers that I admire, encourage me and inspire me to be better. A better person. A better writer. A better mother and wife. A better friend.

Call me narcissistic, but I write, hoping to inspire others in the same way.

Calling All Bloggers! Who Is Your Favorite Read?

On Monday I shared with you my top ten ways (OK – maybe not the top ten of all time but certainly the top ten of that particular day) to avoid writing a blog post. And Aging Mommy, of the blog of the same name, had a wonderful idea.

She asked for “a post where you ask everyone to name their favorite non-celebrity blogs (the ones who will never come and say hello to us lowly beings) is in order, I would love to find some new great reads without the hard work.”

How about it? Are you in? Please say yes!

In the comment section below please add the link of one of your favorite daily/regular reads. If you’re a regular, you pretty much know who hangs out here. Try to name someone who is not a Theycallmejane regular. And sorry folks, but everyone on my blogroll is off-limits, too.

We’re trying to stir the bloggy pot. Breathe new life into our blogging existence. Give a shout out to someone who is staying under the radar.

And already I’m breaking my rule #1. I only hang out with you people, here. Honest. I don’t visit many blogs that don’t already comment at my place. So forgive me when I give Gale at Ten Dollar Thoughts a shout out. If you haven’t visited her yet – you should. She’s thoughtful and insightful. She inspires me to be a better writer.

Thanks for playing! And I’m going to take the liberty of saying that anyone you list below thanks you, too! I know I would!

What I Want To Know Is….?

My first year Blogaversary is coming up. And I’m very excited.

I’ve been blogging for a full year now and I’ve learned so much: how to post a pic, how to post a video, how to comment with tact (most of the time), that I really have it in me to produce 3-6 blog posts a week.

Yet I still have so many questions: Where do I want to see my blog in 5 years? What did I expect to achieve in a year? How do I handle all the comments, criticism, etc.? What’s an RSS feed? Who has time for all the wonderful blogs out there?

And then I had a brilliant idea!

Help me celebrate this wonderful blogging community we’ve created together. Let’s share the wealth. Share the knowledge. Or just share a few laughs.

On Friday, August 13th, yours truly will have been blogging for exactly one year. On that day I challenge you to post on one of the following topics: greatest gift from blogging, greatest surprise from blogging, best blog tip you ever learned, your evolution as a blogger, how do you handle all the comments on your blog?, what is your version of successful blogging?, what blog posts to you hate to see?, your favorite post topics to read, any other topic that pertains to blogging that you can think of. (Hey, I’m that easy!)

We’ll all meet back here on Friday, August 13th and link and share tips, tricks or just titters. Your choice.

Help me celebrate my year of meeting all of you! Start crafting those fabulous posts you are all so capable of writing and let’s share! The more the merrier! (Yes, this means you, little Miss Lurker. C’mon. It’ll be fun!)

(And maybe by then I’ll learn how to link more efficiently. Ck? Sarah?)

Just Your Two Cents, Please!

Saturday marked my 6 Month Anniversary in Blog World! Happy Blogaversary to me! I took a peek at my very first real blog post (as opposed to my first fake post found here) and I realized how much I’ve grown in just a short 1/2 year.

My writing has improved. I’m more aware of how a post looks best, disregarding many rules from my middle school English teachers. Looking back on that first post I realize there were no archives in the right hand column. Nor were there snazzy little “feel good about yourself” links to click. Or a blogroll, for that matter. I don’t even think I knew what a blogroll was at that time.

So much has changed and I have you all to thank. For your encouragement, your support, your advice. Just the opportunity to read YOUR blogs has helped me to grow as a writer, blogger and person. I am so grateful. Thank you.

Robin, at Passions and Soapboxes, was a very early reader and she took the time to send me detailed instruction on how to post my very first award (given by her, :). Thanks, Robin!) I remember being so stunned that someone would take the time to help ‘lil ol’ me out. And then it just snowballed from there – encouraging letters, comments, even phone conversations.

I have surrounded myself with some very supportive bloggers out there. They are relationships I hope continue to grow and flourish.

I know many of you stop by and choose NOT to comment – for whatever reason. I really don’t mind. But today I’m asking everyone who stops by to share a little piece of advice – for all of us – about something you’ve learned about blogging. It could be something you figured out for yourself or the best/worst advice you received from someone else. Or a quick pointer. How about a been-there-done-that-and-never-gonna-do-it-again? Your two cents. Any helpful information will do.

It’s share your best/worst tips at Jane’s today. And we all get to benefit from your wisdom and learn from each other.

Thanks to all of you out there for an amazing ride these past 6 months. Here’s to many, many more!

Won’t You Be My Neighbor – Part II

Remember about a month back when I posted about the wonderful blog neighborhood I’ve created for myself ? Well, I meant to get to this sooner but the hustle and bustle of the holidays got the better of me. I was strolling in my neighborhood the other night, enjoying the lights and decorations you’ve all put up and I wanted to share with you a few more of my wonderful neighbors.

I’ve noticed, while commenting on other blogs, that we DO seem to run in the same circles, in the same neighborhood, if you will. And I just want to say, especially at this time of year, how grateful I am to have you all as neighbors and friends. Thanks for sharing your ideas, opinions and thoughtful posts. Thanks for your interesting, funny and kind comments. Thanks for visiting me, for welcoming me to the neighborhood – I still feel a bit of a newbie. I enjoy our time together and look forward to seeing you whenever we all sign on!

Maureen at Island Roar is the big sister I never had. She’s warm. She’s funny. She has kids just a bit older than mine so I can learn from all of her mis-steps and successes. Her youngest daughter and my oldest would be more than cousins – they’d be great friends and mischief makers. And the fact that they live just around the block from each other would make for some sleepless nights on my part. But Maureen would calm me down, just after gently chewing them out, of course – as only a favorite aunt can do. Holidays would always be brighter with Maureen around!

Faemom lives just down the street. Our boys are around the same age and we have great fun during the playdates. And then she blogs about the same playdate and I crack up because she’s noticed something and re-told it in a way that makes it seem fresh all over again. She’s insightful and wise. She finds humor in the simple, beautiful moments of our lives. Her life is about to get that much richer because she’s expecting and I’m just so excited and happy for her. We’re going to have to have a bloggy baby shower for her!

My dear friend at Burp and Slurp is a young student at the local university. She is a beautiful spirit. I love the stories she tells before sharing her food adventures. She is wise beyond her years. With a love of photography and good food, she shares wonderful recipes using ingredients that help me to stretch my culinary talents. My taste buds love to hear when she’s in town!

Country-Fried Mama is who I visit when I need a dose of reality. And although I’ve been in the south more than half my life now she’s who I turn to when I’m perplexed my some of the eccentricities of this beautiful place I call home. She makes me laugh. She makes me pause. But her love of her family is what I like most about her.

There you have it. Four more neighbors in my favorite neighborhood. I hope you enjoy visiting them as much as I do!

Won’t You Be My Neighbor?

Please don’t laugh at my niavete or scorn my belief without basis. (The real word that should be inserted here is prejudice but I just couldn’t bring myself to say it.) We used to live in an historic neighborhood. Some renters. Some restoring old homes to their glamour of yesterday. A mixed neighborhood of  color and money. It’s what we wanted. We’re a mixed race family. We’re educated but chose professions that don’t bring in tons of money. We made the conscious decision to be where we were. And most of the time, we loved our neighborhood. But the school system wasn’t stellar. And my husband’s business was growing. And, frankly, I just didn’t feel safe anymore. I was tired of going to neighborhood watch meetings and talking about the latest gang markings. I was home alone with two infants and my daughter was starting high school – no longer to be homeschooled. We decided we wanted idyllic suburbia with people “just like us.” Ha!

We searched and searched. We thought that by living in a neighborhood where the homes were of a certain worth we’d fit in and feel comfortable with everyone. We looked high. We looked low (but not too low.) The higher we looked the more promising we felt the neighborhood would be. One woman (a neighbor) saw us looking at a home and she came over and introduced herself. She alerted us to another home down the street from her. The husband was being transferred to Singapore. “I want neighbors who are moving to Singapore!” I said to my husband. I felt that if you were willing to move to exotic locales you would be worldly, educated, open-minded and interesting. We looked in another neighborhood where the price point for the homes was wide. The only homes we could afford were in a section called The Commons. “Oh look, Honey,” my husband exclaimed, “We can be commoners!”

Ultimately, we chose a beautiful neighborhood with lots of amenities, homes priced close together so we’d be with like minds (ha! again), sidewalks, front and back porches, neighborhood activities and get-togethers. It’s also closer to a major city and a large Korean population which is what we wanted for our kids. Don’t get me wrong, we love it here. We’ve met some amazing people who are now close friends (Hi K and A!) but some of my neighbors are not what I bargained for. One neighbor gets caught up in gossip and helps to spread it like wildfire on Facebook. One neighbor gives my daughter the creeps with his leering and creepy comments  (don’t worry, we stay away). One neighbor bragged about cheating the bank/government/us by walking away from their mortgage. Another grabs a  few clubs and he and his kid sneak onto the golf course at the 5th hole at dusk without paying. So much for like minds. Another lesson learned.

I’ve called this place where we, the bloggers,  reside as Blog World. And a dear reader commented in a private note to me that I’d make a great neighbor. I thought, this is what I’ve created here for myself – a neighborhood! And I LOVE my neighbors here. And I like it that we all live here together. How cool is it that we get to pick and choose our neighbors? Our neighborhood here can be as homogenized or eclectic as we want it to be. In case you’re wondering, mine is pretty eclectic and I like it that way! I thought I might introduce you to some of my favorite neighbors! I won’t be able to get to all of them today so I’ve decided this is going to be a series of posts, hopefully without end because I seem to meet kind, creative, interesting, and amazing people every day. This neighborhood is as large as I want to make it and we’re all within walking distance of each other. How perfect is that?

Submom at Absence of Alternatives – This is the kind of neighbor when you go next door to borrow a cup of sugar, you start talking and talking so she invites you in. You keep talking. And talking. You finish your conversation. Go home and realize you didn’t get the cup of sugar. So you go back, laugh about the forgotten cup of sugar. It reminds her of this funny story so you start talking again. And talking. You go home and guess what? Yep. But it’s a great excuse to go next door again for more great conversation! When she moved in I found my new best friend!

Steve at The Planet Harris Blog – There is a pond in my neighborhood and he lives across it. (Smiling at my feeble little  joke) As you enter his home to the left is the library. To the right is the dining room but the table is covered with books and a laptop and has been turned into an office. You step into the family room and there are floor to ceiling bookshelves with a handy little ladder on wheels. His wife is baking biscuits. You can smell sweets baking and coffee and tea brewing. They are warm, welcoming people. The couches are comfy and there are always interesting people popping over for good conversation. I like it here!

TKW at The Kitchen Witch – She lives right next door, too. Which is a good thing because when I’m in a pinch and have NO idea what to bring to the neighborhood BBQ – she’s got the recipe. Snowed in with the kids for three days? She’s got the recipe. Husband home sick and whiny and you just want him to shut up  get a good night’s rest? She’s got the recipe. But better than her recipes are the stories behind them. She’s the best kind of neighbor because she doesn’t judge, she laughs at herself and she’d look out for your kids like they’re her own.

I have two neighbors (they live in the bungalows just up the street, downsizing since the kids have moved away) that I go to for advice, Robin at Passions and Soapboxes and Mary Lee at MerrilyMaryLee’s Weblog. They’re wise and they’re hip. They’re sweet and they’re funny. But they’ve been there, done that with child rearing. They’ve lived it and they’re willing to share what works and what doesn’t. And they’re living a life right now that is packed with fun and interesting adventures.

Five houses in my neighborhood. I’ll tell you about more of them another time. But to all of you out there – thanks for living in MY neighborhood. Thank you for allowing me to live in yours. I never realized how attached I would become to my bloggy friends. What started out as a little experiment grew into something I never imagined. I’m glad I live here!

(P.S. Don’t forget about our get together Friday, November 13th. Collect the craziest search terms for your blog and we’ll all share them on Friday. You can write them in the comment section or blog about it – but don’t forget to link/comment here so we can all see them! See you Friday!)

There’s Plenty of Love to Go Around

A dear blogger over at Classroom Confessions was sweet enough to send some love my way. Cammy thinks I have “fantastic” blog. She awarded me “Kreativ Blogger.” Thanks, Cammy! And Maureen, of IslandRoar, sent me some “Lovely Blog Award” love. Thanks, Maureen! I’m going to share the love with the following…but first…..

Part of the Kreativ Blogger Award I need to share seven random facts about myself.
1. I was a competitive swimmer for 12 years.
2. I am addicted to Coke (a-Cola, that is.)
3. Twenty years ago I had a small part in a major motion picture. I won’t say which one but Kiefer Sutherland is an absolute angel and so was the director. The other main star and a sleazy producer? Not so much. It completely turned me off of show biz and I took another direction with my life and I’m glad I did.
4. My first words were sung to the tune of a Herman’s Hermits song.
5. The first time I sang the Hallelujah Chorus in rehearsal with the Symphony Chorale I was a part of, I cried and couldn’t stop.
6. I visited Disney World the first year it opened and it continues to be my favorite place to vacation, much to my husband’s chagrin.
7. When I was younger I wanted to be the next Judy Blume.

I’d like to share the Kreative Blog Award with…
Robin at Passions and Soapboxes – She give great post and has such a grounded, loving relationship with her family. I’m hoping she’ll adopt me!

The Absence of Alternatives – Is it weird I’m honoring her twice? No! She makes me think and thinking is good. Love her writing style. If you dare….check her out!

Maureen at IslandRoar – No, she’s not getting this because she just gave me one. I already had her in mind when Cammy sent me her award. Maureen just tagged me before I could tag her. I enjoy checking in with her every day! Wonderful writing. She tells a great story.

And now the Lovely Blog Award. It feels a bit odd giving this award out again since I just gave this award to 5 Lovely Bloggers a week ago. But since the purpose of this is to recognize bloggers and send new readers their way I’m going award it again. And I’m choosing some “new” blogs (new to me) that I have stumbled upon and recently bookmarked. So…..

Warm Chocolate Milk – Beautiful writing and beautiful pictures. Need I say more?

If Evolution Really Works – Another excellent writer. Are you seeing a trend here?

Is it 5 o’clock Yet? – Her writing cracks me up. She’s so popular I’m sure she’s rolling her eyes at yet another fan giving her an award but if you need a little pick me up, she’s your gal!

There you have it – some of my old favorites, some of my new. Enjoy! And thanks again to all of you who stop by to see what I have to say. I’m truly honored.

Bloggers of the Blog People

Did you know that the word blog is only 10 years old. Ok, for you twenty somethings out there that might seem old to you. After all, it’s half your age. But to us old farts? That’s young. And I feel like the word has been around forever. But according to Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blog), the word blog was coined in 1999. It’s a tongue in cheek reference to the word weblog. Then it became acceptable to refer to blog as both noun and verb. Then came the word blogger. 

Frankly, I’m not enjoying the progression.

Weblog is ok. Direct. Succinct. Very business like.

Blog? While Michael Gorman of the Library Journal (http://www.libraryjournal.com/article/CA502009.html) likens the sound of the word blog to “something you would find stuck in your drain,” it is definitely tongue in cheek. Kinda cute even. I can live with it.

But blogger? I’m a blogger? Sounds too much like booger, blubber, Frogger. Dried nasal mucus? my expanding middle? An 80’s arcade game? No thanks.

Michael Gorman even takes the term one step further. He calls bloggers, “The Blog People.” The Blog People?!?  Sounds like some B-grade, cult movie classic. Complete with quotable dialogue, “Oh no! It’s alive! IT’S ALIVE!”

There has got to be a better word. But it has to be catchy, current, hip. Something that creates the vision of a cute, petite, girl-next-door sitting at her laptop in her adorable cotton pj’s, but sexy all at the same time. Coffee cup (or sweet tea with 2 lemon slices) within arms reach. Her golden retriever, Max, sitting at her feet and her tabby, Scooter, purring softly next to her.

Seriously. Blogger of the Blog People. There has got to be a better word.

Suggestions?……… Anyone? Anyone?