Dear Friend,
I just needed to get this off my chest. I’m going to apologize in advance because I know what I’m about to say will be difficult to hear. But it has to be said. I can’t take it anymore.
Could you please just (loud truck noises due to construction next door) before you (more loud truck noises). It really makes you look stupid. It’s as if you never even (sounds of jack hammer and other tools of destruction). I mean, seriously. Did you really think I meant to (truck beeping as it backs out into the road)? Of course not. So stop acting as if I did.
Think before you act. Carefully (more jack hammer sounds) and then make (jack hammer, jack hammer, jack hammer). That way we can all benefit from your opinion on the subject. And I might listen. But until then I think you should just (trucks and jack hammers again – the sounds of progress!).
Thanks.
I feel much better now.
Jane
Theycallmejane's Blog 
You cleared things up didn’t you?! Feel better since you had that heart to heart? You are too funny!
Yes! Much!
Oh Jane, I think you hit a homerun with that one. And friend? I second the motion, so knock it off, wouldja?!
I have no idea what’s going on, but I feel I need to offer my moral support here.
Ooooh, someone’s got her panties bunched up about something!!!! Burning with curiosity!
Well, it all started when (kids screaming in the background, #1daughter blow-drying hair) and I tried to ignore it but I couldn’t. I just had let her know exactly how I felt. And I’m so glad I did!
Thanks Sarah and submom – I COULD use the support and I’m so glad it comes from the two of you!
I love your writings. I love them so much I passed on a Sunshine Award to you yesterday. 🙂 Hope you like it.
You are too kind! And I sure could use some sunshine!
Jane, I think this is the most creative, wonderful venting letter ever. Hope things are okay!
M.
They are now!
I think we ALL have one of these letters inside us!
That was hilarious. But now I’m deeply curious at to what pissed you off and if you needed me to go TPing with you later this week. I’m glad you feel better, even if I’m just dying inside with curiosity.
TPing would be a blast. How’s Friday night look for you?
Clever and perfectly unspoken. : )
I am sure I have had those conversations–in my head–many times!!
More moral support coming your way!
Well, you sure told them!
I’m on my way over with wine and cheese and chocolate!
Hurry!
Thanks for all of the moral support. And just to put your minds at ease this was a little blow up over something really, really silly and inconsequential in the huge scheme of things. But it still felt good to do it! I highly recommend it!
That wasn’t directed at me, was it? 😉
I don’t know what’s going on either, but I love the letter!
(Do you provide this in reusable but rural form?)
As someone who HATES conflict… I’m going to actually take this idea and use it in real life! I’ll just have to find some recording of all the jackhammers and play it at all the “tough” parts of my conversations. Hope you don’t mind my hijack(hammering) your idea!
Loved this.
Samned construction…I missed the best parts of that rant. Oh well. It’s between you and your friend, and at least you’ve cleared it up.
That would be “Damned”.
Pure genius creativity!